40. The Birthday Friend
If your friends set their birthday on Facebook, they’ll become this friend exactly once every year. Do you know them well enough to wish them a happy birthday? If you do, will they think you’re closer than you really are? Will they want to do lunch suddenly? Will they be hurt if you ignore them? Do you have to wish them happy birthday on Facebook if you are going to see them in person today? These are some of the most difficult questions in life.
39. The Personality Quiz Friend
Which Disney Princess are you? Which romantic comedy are you? Not only are these quizzes annoying, but they can’t be taken seriously by anybody over the age of 13. Even so, they don’t seem to be going away any time soon.
38. The Shockingly Gullible Friend
These people are slowly but surely ruining Facebook for everbody else. Did you know that Facebook is about to charge a thousand dollars per year to use it? They do, and they’ll make sure you know it too. If you don’t have somebody who falls for these chain mail gags on your friends list, consider yourself lucky.
37. The Journalist Friend
These friends are great. They couldn’t quite land a career in news, but they’re not going to let that stop them from reporting it. It’s as if they don’t realize that news sites exist. Every major news site will have reported on something major 24/7 for the past few days, but when these friends finally learn the news, they’re reporting it days late as if it’s their sole mission in life. After all, if they don’t tell the world, who will?
36. The Overly Proud Parent Friend
Remember when you only had to look at pictures of your friends’ kids once a year in a Christmas letter? Those days are long gone. Today, thanks to Facebook, this has become an epidemic. With the dawn of readily available consumer photo and video sharing options, this problem isn’t going away soon. Nowadays, you’ll be kept apprised of your friends’ kids meal schedules, potty training, and everything in-between. (And of course their profile picture is a picture of their kid, not them.)