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11 Unacceptable Uses For Facebook’s New Colorful Status Backgrounds

If your mom wouldn’t hang it on her fridge, it doesn’t deserve a colorful background.

The “I Just Figured These Out” Status

You wait and wait for your big moment—a moment that can set you apart from all those who have been ruining it before you—and this is how you choose to announce your presence? Why not say something profound and life changing?

The Day of the Week Declaration Status

Are. You. Serious? We get it, you know what day it is. Most people do. What we don’t get is why you felt the need to make us scroll longer than usual to get past your status just for that.

The Random Weather Observation Status

Well, ladi-frickin-da! This is an acceptable normal post if you are truly loving the weather, but why does it need to look like a designer t-shirt? Hint: it doesn’t. And by the way, you’re missing a period there.

The Long Colorful Dead End Status

Ok, hold up. When people start reading these, they expect something great, a joke or punchline—anything. I want my money back!

the grammar challenged ppl

Ok, so a couple things. First of all, learn to use apostrophes. They’re (quick refresher here: “they are”) not hard. Second, you’re starting a new sentence. Ever heard of capitalizing the first word? And seriously, using the number “2” in that? It’s not 2004 anymore and we sure aren’t on T9Word. You have a fully functional iPhone or Android keyboard. Use it.

P.S. And don’t even get me started on “beaty” or your broken exclamation point key. You should know better.

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What should colorful Facebook statuses be used for?

What kind of statuses should be worthy of a colorful status background? Should anything go or should there be some level of order to this madness? Comment, tag your friends, and let’s get to the bottom of this.

Written by Andrew Fischer

Andrew Fischer is the Head Writer and Editor-in-Chief of PopMalt. He is an avid follower of all things pop and Internet culture, and works as Creative Director at NURV, a boutique creative multimedia and digital marketing company. He is also the founder of The Jericho Joe.