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20 Horrible Roommates We’ve All Lived With

Roommates. Can’t live with them, can’t pay the rent without them.

10. The “I Keep Forgetting I Set My Alarm” Roommate

Is she in there? Is she not? It doesn’t really matter. What matters is she’s set the volume of her alarm on high again and you’re the only one hearing it. It leaves you with an awkward choice: get out of bed and dare to enter her bedroom to shut it off, or just suffer in silence and wonder how long it’ll be before you can sleep again.

9. The “I Own Everything in the Apartment” Roommate

While some roommates are so lazy they should be going back in time, others are overly involved with the apartment. While she doesn’t help you move in, she’ll still tell you exactly where your futon should go. Even though she won’t relinquish her control over the living room, she’s more than happy to bite your head off if you’ve left a plate in the sink for more than 30 minutes.

8. The “I Have FOMO” Roommate

FOMO – noun, “the fear of missing out”. This roommate feels like he has to constantly check his texts and emails, to go to every social event he hears about. Because heaven forbid he miss one inside joke, a single goofball moment that people will forever reference thereafter.

And that’s fine. It’s his choice in life. What do you care? But the problem is he throws parties himself whenever there isn’t another one around. Before you know it, the only peace you’ll find is when you’re drowning in cheese and cracker leftovers.

7. The “You’re My Best Friend” Roommate

This roommate either has very few friends or needs the world to love him. Either way, he’s insistent on you two being best buds. He wants to have dinner at the table with you every night and to always be involved with your social plans. He’s become your live-in mistress and God help you if you stay a night at your girlfriend’s without getting his okay first.

6. The “I Can’t Tell Which Food Is Mine” Roommate

Bills are easiest paid when they don’t exist. Whether unemployed, lit up, or just plain lazy, this roommate seems to believe that food tastes better if it isn’t his own. He swoops in during the dead of night, gnawing away at your goods until you notice too late. And if he’s ever caught, he has the best excuse ever: “Oh. Sorry. I thought this was mine.”

This is exactly why label makers should never go out of style.

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Written by Todd St. James

Todd St. James is a freelance writer for PopMalt.