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Discuss Your "bullying" experiences?

Merc

Problematic Shitlord
V.I.P.
Were you bullied in school? Were you the bully or the victim and what happened? Did you ever get any help or were any situations resolved? How so?

What do you think or what in your opinion makes a bully become who he or she is? Do you think specific factors are to blame?

I'm actually about to head out for a few hours but I wanted to post this thread to get some answers. I'll be returning with my replies.
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
I think parents and experiences when young, environment, neighborhood, is what makes a bully.

Some parents use violence towards their kids, not talking about a normal spanking. They treat their kids horrible, the kid can't attack his parents so he attacks other kids at school. Or they tell them they will kick their ass if they don't stand up for themselves and or even teach them to fight.

Then there are the parents that are never around and ignore their kids unless they are in trouble. So they get in trouble by being the school bully.

Then you have the ones that were bullied so when they get a little older they become bullies.

Or maybe the parents are good parents but the kid is just screwed up in the head.

I don't know really some kids probably do it because they think it gets them respect of their peers.
------
I never bullied anyone and wasn't really bullied myself.
 
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Taliesin

Registered Member
Were you bullied in school?

Yup. I had kids who hit me around the head, tried to trip me every time I walked past them, and called me names like "monkey face" and worse. This happened the entire time I was at high school. I'd spend my lunch breaks in the library to avoid the worst of it.

Did you ever get any help or were any situations resolved? How so?

No. I didn't get help. Thinking back on it, I should have, because I now think that's where my low self esteem and depression began. My life has been a direct result of a long string of bad choices I've made to avoid situations where me being or feeling humiliated was a possibility... just like I was back in my school days. Adults should grow out of this shit, so it's kinda shameful (and pathetic) that I haven't.

What do you think or what in your opinion makes a bully become who he or she is? Do you think specific factors are to blame?

I pride myself on trying to be empathetic and understanding of pretty much anybody, no matter how reprehensible their actions might be. However, whenever it comes to bullies (whether online or offline, it doesn't matter) that falls apart. All I can think of is how I felt when I was the one being bullied, and I end up wanting to bully them in return... just to give them a taste of their own medicine.

In fact, I tried to do this at the end of last year with an online friend who was bullying me (and is now no longer a friend) and it completely backfired. Long story short, it was wrong and I shouldn't have done it, no matter what the provocation. I've since learned my lesson. So, yeah, I guess the bullied can become bullies too, given the right situation and circumstances. None of us are entirely blameless I suppose.
 
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Smelnick

Creeping On You
V.I.P.
I was bullied my entire childhood. By fellow students at school and by my stepdad at home. Our family wasn't very well to do and so the kids at school had all kinds of things they'd like to bug me about, as if I was the one in control of our financial situation lol. Thankfully, because I've always been larger for my age and because I grew up doing chores, it was rarely ever physical bullying at school. The other kids knew not to get on the receiving end of retaliation. At home was another story lol.

I tried to talk to the teachers at school, but they always gave some bullshit response like 'oh just try to talk it out and work it out'. Yes, because the bullies on the playground are really interested in talking it out haha.

Bullies are often bullies because they're bullied themselves. Or because their parents are just as bigoted and they see their parents poking fun at others that aren't like em so they think its okay. Ultimately kids are kids, and all that stuff changes once their adults. Some of the people who bullied me are part of my circle of friends now and they're completely different people now that they've matured.
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
I've never understood a teacher telling you to talk it out, bullies don't give a shit about talking. All they care about is making you as miserable as they are, which is often the case.
 

Taliesin

Registered Member
We're waiting for your reply, Merc. (Well, I am...)
 

idisrsly

I'm serious
V.I.P.
I wouldn't say I was bullied in school, at least not repeatedly. However, there was a very specific time in my childhood that a group of 3 boys were incredibly mean to me and said stuff to me that affects me till this day. I hate that it does, but I can't really shake it.

The stupid thing about it is I know that it was just kids being mean. You know how young kids don't think before they talk and don't know what they're saying. The fault is with me, not being able to let this go. But looking back, I can blame a lot of things having gone wrong in my life to that specific moment when I was 8 years old.
 

wolfheart

Registered Member
I was bullied throughout my first year in second school by a group of kids a couple of years higher.
What at first was just name calling and nasty words became physical towards the end of the year, until at the end of the summer term they beat the crap out of me.

The teachers back in those days did not want to get involved, I think they thought it was part and parcel of growing up, my parents however took a different view, they placed me into a martial arts class doing one on lessons twice or three times a week.

At the start of second year the bullying had returned to a more basic level of jeers, nasty comments and threats of violence, the first time it did get physical I had the confidence to fight back and that was something they were not prepared for.

My experience of being bullied ended that day, when they found out I would not only not rise to the words they constantly spewed at me but would defend myself if they tried anything physical just was not worth it for them.

The one thing that I never understood was after the first time I defended myself I was dragged into the head masters office, my parents were called and I was threatened with suspension for what the school called unreasonable force.
It would seem that even back then the victim was not allowed to defend themselves against bullies.

I have a very serious dislike of bullies, those who will single out a person smaller or weaker or unable to defend themselves.
A couple of times in the past I have asked someone in the pub to leave others alone, making myself a target instantly, until they find out that they dont bother me.

Over the years I have bumped into a couple of the guys who did bully me, and to be honest they have not changed at all, they still like to pick on those they deem not as good as them.

I dont really know what causes someone to become a bully, but it does seem to have a slight pack tendency, you may have kid who is a nasty piece of work and his close friends will fall to peer pressure and in some cases fear of that person and follow what he does.

Other times they projecting what has happened to them.

Sadly bullying is something that is still seen as a slightly taboo subject, many schools deny that it even happens, and until it is faced head on by those who are capable of stopping it, and not making the victim feel like it is there fault ,it will continue to plague schools and work places.
 

MedicineShow

Registered Member
Were you bullied in school?
Yes, up until around Sophomore year in high school.

Were you the bully or the victim and what happened?
The victim, always. I was never big enough to be the bully. What happened was that some kids who had a bad home environment lashed out and the non-aggressive types like myself were targets. I'd get pushed around or beaten up regularly.

Did you ever get any help or were any situations resolved? How so?
I never reported it-- it was the weak way out. Instead, I fought back, but took my beatings like a man. I never ran from them. Eventually, most decided that dealing with me wasn't worth it. They wanted a victim that wouldn't fight. For the more persistent ones, I actually started hanging out with one of my cousins, who was the biggest kid in elementary school. He was a little bit dim, but huge. He could lay bullies out easily. It was kind of a Master-Blaster type situation. :D

By middle and high school, I was bigger and could defend myself well enough. By then, bullies were different. They were cocky jocks who felt on top of the world because they were on a team. They'd push me around and instigate, and I would break their noses. I never started it, and every time, the principal sided with me thanks to the camera footage.

What do you think or what in your opinion makes a bully become who he or she is? Do you think specific factors are to blame?
I think it all comes as the result of their home environments. I had a shitty turbulent poverty a stricken home life too, but the difference is that the only abuse I sustained was emotional. A lot of the bullies I dealt with were beaten regularly by their parents, and emulated what they saw. They translated that pain into violence.

Of course, I guess I was doing what I couldn't do at home by fighting back. It did feel good to draw blood. I just didn't want to become one of them.
 

MainerMikeBrown

Registered Member
I was bullied a lot in elementary and high school, in part because I usually didn't give it back to those making fun of me.


My mother always told me to just ignore them. Hence, I became a personal punching bag to many of the kids and teens who liked to bully others.
 
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