You don't know what you're really missing when you never had it.

Discussion in 'Religion & Philosophy' started by ysabel, Apr 9, 2010.

  1. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    We say it's better to have experienced things. Or example, "it's better to have loved than lost than never to have loved at all". But usually it's said AFTER we've already experienced/had (and sometimes after we've already lost). So naturally, once you experience it, you know how it is and what it does to you and what you could be having now if you haven't lost it.

    But people who NEVER have had/experienced it doesn't feel your same longing, same feeling of "loss", nor desire. For all we know, they're content. Is their contentment fake just because they haven't experienced otherwise? I don't think so. It's real to them. I think these people are even in a good place (and in some cases, probably even in a better place because they don't feel the need to ask for anything else - they already have all they want).

    So do would you rather be in a good place and feel you have everything (even if some claim you're missing out on things), OR in a place where you know better and that you know you could have more (except you don't have it).

  2. idisrsly

    idisrsly I'm serious V.I.P. Lifetime

    Funny you mention that. Back in my younger years before I was in my first relationship, all my friends used to tell me that I should count myself lucky for not knowing the pain that comes with a break up. I always told them that I wanted nothing more than that exact pain so I could know for myself which is better.

    Till this day, I always tell my friends to go for things they never experienced before - love, even if it leads to heartache, do what every one tells you not to, even if just to find out for yourself that you really should not do it AGAIN!!!
  3. Twitch

    Twitch Registered Member

    So in the good place, it could possibly not be real, but we don't know it?

    I'd say knowing better and knowing I could have more.
  4. Altanzitarron

    Altanzitarron Tamer Of The LOLzilla

    I think the important thing to bare in mind here is whether or not you are "richer" for the experience. If you gave me the choice of experiencing an amzing feeling of love and then losing it or to live my life never knowing such an experience I know what I would pick. Give me something worth losing any day.

    That works on a hypothetical level at least.

    I suppose the statement that directly clashes with this one is "Ignorance is bliss". This thread could have been a poll, Belle :lol:

    "It's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all" VS "Ignorance is Bliss"


  5. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    That's part of my point. It doesn't have to be unreal. :)

    It's just that we'll have fewer experiences. But then no one will really have ALL the experiences ever. If we seek to have all, we'll never be happy. Some people's pride is more because they know they have experienced something not everyone hasn't, and not so much they have experienced all.

    Say there are two people who have never travelled to another country before. They're fine and happy (just like the millions of other people who haven't travelled out of the country before). Life goes on. Everything is normal.

    One day, person B got an invite for a free trip to the other side of the world. He rides on the plane and gets back to see his friend. Now Person A is still his old self...fine and happy. Person B raves about the trip, and starts getting depressed because he knows he can never ride the plane again or travel across the world. Yet he looks at Person A as if it's Person A who is the poor guy.

    So who has it worse really? Person A who don't know how it feels to ride a plane or travel but is happy? Or Person B who knows how it is to ride and travel but sad that he can't ever do it again?


    I think we're quick to judge those who have not (had) the same experience as ourselves to think that they're missing something in their life. We fail to see it from their perspective that everything is really still ok and they're not exactly suffering as we would suffer knowing something will be taken away from us.

    Just another example: It might be the same thing why people who "found God" (persons B) feel sorry about those who haven't (persons A). One day they see the person A as normal and the other day, after "finding God", they see the person A as miserable because they haven't found God. And yet, nothing has really changed about the person A. It's just a matter of person B's perspective having changed by his new experiences. :)
  6. Unity

    Unity #AllTogetherNowSTL Staff Member

    I've loved and lost; still, not knowing possible types and degrees of pain, I'd easily love again.

    You don't have to have lost to be able to love, and in doing so you often figure that it's worth any suffering.
  7. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    Or another example:

    Someone who has never had internet vs someone who had internet but lost connection (or can't afford to renew it). I think the latter, with his experience or knowledge how internet made life easier for him, is suffering more than the former who never had those thoughts or feelings of being incomplete just because, omg, there's no internet access. :)

    Or another:

    Someone who is a virgin - it's possible that this person isn't suffering from not having sex.

    And yet those who have had sex will look at this person like he must be so sad because he hasn't had sex. This is because those who have had sex think of it from their own what they'd feel if suddenly they stopped having sex and will never have it for years again. What a loss! *panicks about sanity* :lol: But none of these feelings relate with the virgin. But not having had sex ever, the virgin doesn't necessarily crave it or isn't necessarily feeling like they're missing out on life with the absence of sex.

    It's easier to abstain from sex (or accept a sexless life) if you haven't had sex ever, than after you've already had sex. :hah:
  8. Unity

    Unity #AllTogetherNowSTL Staff Member

    haha yes I can understand those examples! :D Good point on that one.
  9. Wade8813

    Wade8813 Registered Member

    I think it depends on the situation.

    Also, it seems like it would be impossible to actually make that statement; a person who's never loved doesn't know what it's like to have loved and lost; a person who's loved and lost can't actually say they never loved at all.
  10. fractal

    fractal Eye see what you did ther

    I'm the living proof to back your statement.

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