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Ye olde Funeral

HalfEatenSurprise

Registered Member
Obviously. They are not nice.

As for meeee... I ain't ever been to one. I don't know how, at the age of 23. Yet, I have not. Which I guess is a good thing, sorta. --- I know a day will come when I have to, and as much I ain't looking forward to it, I am still curious.

What happens at them, other than commemorating the recently departed? Is there a set like routine to them, or are there different customs in certain places?

I really don't fancy it. I mean, it's weird - isn't it? I know at some point, maybe sooner than I think I'll be having to visit a church place or a graveyard or a crematorium, and I'll have to pay my respects. -- Why do I only think of the 'knees up' in the pub afterwards? Why do I wish not to go, even if it's my grandma or something?

This entire subject may float right over my head. But please leave your contributions.

Your funeral experiences, your knowledge of the routines/customs. And other stuff in general... ----

Hope I haven't morbided up the place.
 
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icegoat63

Son of Liberty
V.I.P.
I've been to alot of Funerals.

I was the youngest of my generation in my Family tree. So by the time I hit my teens... All of my grandparents (except one) had passed away from Smoking related cancers, a few of my uncles had had strokes and died off. Then in my 20's the rest of my Aunts & Uncles died off from surprise surprise Smoking related cancers.

Kims side of the family is alot more resilient than mine. They arent smokers for the most part. Her grandfather passed away just last year at the ripe old age of somewhere in his 90's. Thats commendable IMO. However her family has fallen victim to alot of early deaths from Drunk Drivers and such.

Over the last 10 years... I've probably been to easily 1.3 funerals a year. I throw the oddball small percent in there because there were a few years where there were more than one.
 

Iris

rainbow 11!
i have only been to one, we went to a funeral home place where everyone sat down and people spoke about how much of an amazing woman emma was, all of the funny stuff and everything.

afterwards we went to the mariot, she worked there and so they gave us a huge room and free booze. everyone drank and partied the night away.
 

CaptainObvious

Embrace the Suck
V.I.P.
I've been to a lot of them, and Rosaries as well. In fact I have a Rosary to go to tonight and a funeral tomorrow. Too many times I've been a pallbearer, and I say that because it's usually family that has passed. I think we have an obligation to go especially if it's family, to pay or final respects.
 

Dabs

Registered Member
I have been to several funerals, and I don't care to go to anymore for a good many years. There is really nobody left, in my family, older than me, so hopefully-there will be no funerals for awhile. For my parents' funerals, I was in charge of everything, and once you pick out a casket, then you pick out the music you wish to be played, you choose to have a preacher/pastor/whatever say a few words during the service.
You choose a flower display to set on top of the casket, silk fake ones or real ones. If it's going to be a burial at the cemetery, most everyone goes with real flowers so they can be placed at their gravesite. Both my Mother and my Dad were cremated, so I chose silk flowers for my Mother's casket, and I still have them. My Dad had a flag draped across his casket, I have that too. The calling hours are usually the longest part, and the actual funeral isn't long at all. It didn't seem to be anyway. After the funeral service itself, the casket, if there is a burial, will be loaded into the hearse and then cars follow to the cemetery, where again, there will be words and maybe a song. At my Granny's funeral, they let us stay and watch while the casket was being lowered into the ground, but I have heard people here lately say that only the close immediate family can be present for that. No, funerals are not pleasant. The 3 that hit me the hardest, are those of my Mother, my Dad and my Aunt.
I have been to funerals for about 10 people, most family, but a couple were close friends. My earliest recollection of a funeral was one I attended back in 1974. It was my Dad's Dad. I was 12 years old.
Funerals are a place and situation where respect is to be shown, you get that chance to say one last good-bye, tell the remaining family members how sorry you are for their loss. And I know several people who are scared to go to funerals, so they don't go. That's natural I think. And I think there is a certain age where children should not be allowed to attend a funeral. If they are fully aware and can understand, then I think it's fine. But if they are so young they keep asking questions and just don't know how to comprehend it all, then I think they should not go. But everyone has different views on that, so to each his own.
Cemeteries are a peaceful place. I like going to the cemetery. Altho both my parents are cremated, I have my Mother's urn here at my home, but I took my Dad's ashes out to his family cemetery and he is now 'resting in peace' with his Mom & Dad. That's where he wanted to be all along, but my Mother did not. So, I hope each day, that I have made the right decision when it comes to my Dad's final resting place.
Nothing morbid about this at all HES, it's something that everyone has to face at some time in their life. And every custom and every religion is different, so many may have different versions of what I have described.
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
I'm 25 and I've never been to one either. It scares me because I don't know what to expect which means it might be that much harder for me to control my emotions.
I know it's expected for people to cry but I would try and keep it together for others during the funeral as I would not like to set some else off. My mum for example. She would cry if she saw me crying.

My dad's parents passed away before I was born and I was only 2 when my mum's dad passed away so I didn't go to that funeral.
My cousin died when he was 22 and I was around 11 at the time so I didn't go to that funeral either.

I'm really not looking forward to the day I have to go to my first funeral. But I have to get used to the fact that death is a part of life.
 

Dabs

Registered Member
To some, it's almost impossible for them to walk up to a coffin (casket) and view a deceased person lying there. If the funeral home has done a good job, the person almost looks as if they are sleeping. Some people even tell me it gives them the creeps to see a deceased person. I touch them as they are lying there (my family members), especially my Mother. I would hold her hand, touch her cheeks on her face, sort of run my fingers thru the curls in her hair, and talk to her the whole time. None of that bothers me, where it would other folks.
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
I wouldn't be able to do that, especially if it was a close family member.
I've watched enough episodes of Six Feet Under to know I'd need to casket to be closed.
I'd need to get past it by remembering how they were then they were alive. I just know the image of them lying there lifeless would haunt me forever.
 

Dabs

Registered Member
I wouldn't be able to do that, especially if it was a close family member.
I've watched enough episodes of Six Feet Under to know I'd need to casket to be closed.
I'd need to get past it by remembering how they were then they were alive. I just know the image of them lying there lifeless would haunt me forever.

I can understand. But I touched both my parents as they lie there. I even cut a tiny piece of curl from the back of my Mother's head, to save that little bit of her hair. Also, I painted my Mother's fingernails for the viewing as well as my Aunt's before her viewing. It was a difficult task because the bodies were so cold, the nail polish didn't want to adhere correctly, but I got it accomplished. It made me feel better knowing I was able to do that. The one thing I do have a hard time with now tho, is the funeral home that my Mother and my Dad were both at. I can't go back in there. If I know someone who has passed and they are using that funeral home, I send a card and a plant to their home, expressing my condolences. When my Dad passed, and we had to go to the funeral home to get him ready- I had to take clothes and etc.- it took me 20 minutes to try and calm down from a panic attack, because the last time I was there, was when I was saying good-bye to my Mother. My son had drove me, and he had to go in and get the funeral home director, because I seriously could not get a grip. I was scared of going in there, but I finally ended up going in, getting the stuff done and after his funeral, I haven't been back to that once since, and I hope to never have to. I can't bear to see that funeral home again.
 

LifeinthePond

Mark ov teh Pond
I'm 25 and I've been to two before. One was my grandma's sister, and the other was my grandpa.

Unfortunately, in my experience, I seen my mother at grandpas and that may have been the first time she seen me since 6, and I was 18 at the time. Eh, I didn't harbor any rage or ill-feelings (honestly didn't care), I was there for grandpa. I paid my respects, chatted with the good relatives and left. I've never cried at a funeral, and I don't dress fancy.

I had a friend pass. Well, he was more than just a friend - he was my babysitter. My brother has 5 years on me, and that was his best friend, who had 2 years on him. So he was my babysitter for quite a long time because he came over to hang with bro. I couldn't attend. My brother was pal-bearer and dressed up in fancy Salvation Army clothes, it was the best he could afford. I might have cried seeing my brother walk him, so maybe that's why I wimped out.

I'm definitely the guy who talks about the good times at a funeral. Lighten up the atmosphere. They don't always have to be a morbid experience. It's my way of coping, and promising the recently deceased that I'll remember the good times.
 
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