Would you marry...

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by fragile, Oct 28, 2008.

  1. fragile

    fragile Registered Member

    ...someone that already have been married or/and have children? Especially if you yourself never have experienced neither?

    Would you be fine with this, or would you think that it would never be as special to him/her because they've already been through it? Therefore you wouldn't feel ok with it either.

    Or initially it doesn't matter, but it depends on when/why they broke it off, how old the children are, how involved they are, how old you are etc?
     

  2. Swiftstrike

    Swiftstrike Registered Member

    Probably since I am only 24 I wouldnt marry someone that already had kids or a previous marriage.
     
  3. AnitaKnapp

    AnitaKnapp It's not me, it's you. V.I.P. Lifetime

    I have never had a problem with it. It would require serious consideration if someone has kids, because it is very stressful to keep the peace, be accepted, but not be walked all over at the same time. Takes a very patient person.

    As far as it being special...I would say that if they got a divorce, then obviously something was wrong, and that they would maybe be more appreciative of what they have the 2nd time around.
     
  4. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    I did and I have a stepdaughter. Every relationship and every child is a new and special experience. It's not like my other children aren't special anymore because I've already had one. I've been with other men before, even if I didn't marry them. It doesn't make this relationship any less wonderful just because I've done it before. The fact that a previous child is part of the "package" does make things more complicated but it doesn't necessarily mean good/bad. It's what you and your partner make it to be, after.

    But if you're the type who cannot handle the idea that your partner has past relationships with others (married or not), then clearly this is not for you. You will just end up being insecure all the time, like some people I know who are in the situation but are continuously bothered about not being the "first".
     
  5. viLky

    viLky ykLiv

    I don't like drama, so entering a relationship with somebody that has an ex-husband and/or kids, I wouldn't want to put myself through that. Even for love. It's just too much for me. >.<;
     
  6. Tucker

    Tucker Lion Rampant

    I wouldn't refuse to marry the girl I love because she had been married before any more than I would only take someone to the movies if she'd never gone. It's the future that matters in a relationship, not the past.

    Now, if her kids were neglected and/or completely dysfunctional, I'd likely see her as a deficient parent, in which case I couldn't think of her as The One in the first place. But that's a fish of a different color.
     
  7. ABC123

    ABC123 New Member

    I am married to someone who was divorced and has a child. There have been trying times but mainly with the ex and the child, not between hubby and me regarding the ex and child, if that makes sense.
     
  8. wolfheart

    wolfheart Registered Member

    My ex partner already had a daughter when we started seeing each other,it made no difference to me.
     
  9. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    If I was in love with them then I doubt it'd matter to me. If I had known them a while or something and I had deep feelings for them.

    I can say that I would avoid dating someone if I knew they had children or an ex wife though.
     
  10. LadyPinky

    LadyPinky scientia potestas est

    As a 22 year old I don't think I could handle being married to someone who has kids with someone else or a ex wife. I could see when I'm older I might be able to handle this idea. Right now I already have enough problems with ex girlfriends let alone someone they have been married to and have kids with.
     
    fragile likes this.

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