Would u ever tell an adopted child that he/she is adopted?

RJ-Cool

"Expect the unexpected"
#1
Some people don't believe in telling a child they are adopted. They believe that once you adopt and are raising a child with all the love and support they will ever need then, they don't need to know. They feel like it would confuse the child and make them lose their sense of worth(at any age). Others feel that once the child is mature enough to understand the concept of adoption then, they need to know. Hence, they proceed to do so.

What would you do? Would you ever tell an adopted child he/she is adopted?
 

Obsessiforge

- Diderot Reborn -
#2
well sometimes its just not possible to avoid the issue. For instance, Indian family adopts white kid. You can't just tell the kid he came out of your vajayjay, he's obviously not related to you.

I think its important for kids to know.
 

EllyDicious

made of AMBIGUITY
V.I.P.
#5
It's very difficult to give answer to this question because it depends on the circumstances and on the child's maturity.

I believe in telling the truth is always the best solution, but in this case I doubt.
I'm afraid the adopted child wouldn't love me as much as when he/she thought I was his/her mother.
[yeah I know it's a selfish point of view].
 

Boredie

In need of Entertainment
#6
I would sit them down and tell them when they were old enough to understand or if they happend to ask questions, etc. They have every right to know.
This.
Because leaving them in the dark is worse, especially if they find out somehow else (finding the adoption papers, a friend of the family etc.)
 

AnitaKnapp

It's not me, it's you.
V.I.P.
#7
This.
Because leaving them in the dark is worse, especially if they find out somehow else (finding the adoption papers, a friend of the family etc.)
This. I would definitely tell them.

In fact, I may fit things here and there, even at a young age, so that it's not such a terrible shock to sit them down and tell them.
 

Jeanie

still nobody's bitch
V.I.P.
#8
Yes, of course. It's not even a question of whether I would tell, just when. As soon as I felt they were old enough to understand. There's no reason not to tell.
 

SmilinSilhouette

Registered Member
#9
Honesty = best policy

If you don't tell them they will, most likely, find out. If there were lies about something this important, what else was lied about? How could the adopted child trust the parent after that?

Wouldn't it be easier to tell them that you wanted them and loved them so much that you picked them to be with you rather than to avoid the truth?
 
#10
I agree with the consensus here, it's pretty much always the best thing to tell the child at some point, in every case. I know some like to leave it until the 18th or 21st birthday or whatever but I just think that's too late. Hell, I'm not even 21 yet and if I was adopted I would sure like to have found out by now. So yeah, as soon as the child is old enough to understand. It's not a certain age, but a certain level of maturity. Like with most things.