Within the Breeze - Poem

[mysticangel]

Within the breeze

scented candles filled the air
gentle memories no longer here
crimson roses, sparkling skies
natures melody passed us by...

on that wonderous night in spring
crickets chirped and birds did sing
a heavenly moon, some shooting stars
all seem so close but somehow far...

you held my hand and reached my heart
you said you loved me and we'd never part
but now that time has passed me by
i sit alone and start to cry...

why did you leave me all alone
within this torture people call life
why did you leave me all by myself
within this torture of life itself

maybe one day i'll see you again
above the endless sky...
we'll travel along with the wind
and we'll never have to say goodbye...

But for now i'll think of you
when the sky is glittered with stars
and everytime i feel the wind
i know that you're not far...

You'll always guide me through my life
and i'll always be your loving wife
even though we're worlds apart
you will always be here in my heart...

 

[Merc]

One thing I recall in creative writing class, is that to make a good love poem, you do not use the words "love, heart, life, or heaven." Try it, it's not too easy. The poem was fine, but it felt unoriginal.