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Why I've Never Been so Offended in All My Life...Offence Whose Fault Is It?

Saucepan

Registered Member
If I used any of the following words "Blackie", "Chink", "Yank", "Queer" or "Paki" to describe someone...chances are they would be offended. Many people would be offended by the F-Bomb or if I referred to someone as a "See You Next Tuesday", but how much is offence the responsibility of the person on he receving end?

My friends and I like most have a bit of banter with one another, I can call one of my friends ugly and a stupid fuck-wit and he won't be offened at all...however the moment I comment about him having a big nose he gets offended. My mother died several years ago, and one of my friends takes the piss out of me for this, I don't get offended, because his mother is also dead so I just bounce back with my own insults...people hearing one side of this will actauly get offened on the other person's behalf!

I've used the word "nigger" in the context of words not in the context of refering to a black person, yet people seem to be offeneded by the sheer mention of the word, even when to those it has been used against have been present and not taken offence.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!" I'm sure many of us practisced this rhyme as kids, yet it seems people are simply offended at words regardless of their context. So do we all stop using words that offend people, because I know several people who've been offended by the word "bum" or should they just learn to suck it up?
 

agphoenix

Everything goes.
'The pen is mightier than the sword' is also something that children are taught. I know I was. A lot of factors must be considered when using certain words. The first one that comes to mind is how close the person iterating the words is to you. Personally, I couldn't give a toss about a casual acquaintance saying anything that others may find offensive. If my sister on the other hand was to say something hurtful, I'm quite sure I'd be taken back quite a bit.
How sensitive the people involved are should be taken into consideration as well. And by that I'm not just referring to the people on the brunt end of the stick. The issue that's being treated flippantly is really important. It's perfectly acceptable that you and your friend are not easily affected by jokes about your dead mothers, may they rest in peace. You may want to consider the fact that perhaps both of you have been numbed by the loss and that's the way you're dealing with it, but that's just conjecture. Another person, whose mother went through years of painful medical attention before passing away, might not exactly hear it as well. And rightly so.
You may have a point about people you've come across needing a tougher hide, but I guarantee you that in time there'll be a nerve in you that will be very susceptible to getting pinched by callous words.
Just be careful about what you hear in the future. It might be something that someone believes you shouldn't be offended by.
 

Saucepan

Registered Member
Another person, whose mother went through years of painful medical attention before passing away, might not exactly hear it as well. And rightly so.
I can understand someone who has been through that situation being offended by such jokes. I should point out that my friend's mother died under such circumstances (mine didn't), however it's someone who goes "You can't say that!" even though I'm laughing at the joke I was more concerned with.

I'm not easily offended, I try and take the context of the comment into consideration, a joke is a joke, it might be inappropriate but that dosen't make it offensive.
 
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agphoenix

Everything goes.
...I try and take the context of the comment into consideration...it might be inappropriate but that dosen't make it offensive.
If you try and take the context of the comment into consideration then you should probably succeed in not making the joke inappropriate. Plus, it 'doesn't make it offensive', to you. If that's where the consideration stops then you're not taking into account that it CAN be offensive to others.
 

Saucepan

Registered Member
Only because they choose to take offence. If I laugh at a joke at my expense people shouldn't get offended for me right?

If the person is making a joke, even if it's not funny, then forgive and forget, if the person is saying something to be insulting that's a different matter.
 

Altanzitarron

Tamer Of The LOLzilla
It takes two to tango but I also believe that there is no smoke without fire. So why am I using those phrases? Admitantly offense can only be gauged by the person on the receiving end of the joke or statement. Hence it takes two to tango, one to deal out the stuff and one to get offended by it. Some people don't get offended that easily and quite often laugh along with the crowd. I believe that people shouldn't take themselves so seriously all the time. With that said however, there is no smoke without fire. Hence that it's impossible to become offended without someone dealing out possibley offensive remarks.

Since this thread is asking who is to blame for offense? then surely the answer is the person who says the possibley offensive things. The fault is the cause and the cause of offense is the person who is saying the joke or statement. How a person takes the joke is a result, not a cause.
 
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Kazmarov

For a Free Scotland
Agree with Alt. The whole idea that the other person should 'grow up' or learn to take equal insults is absurd. I'm sure if you kept certain things off-limits there could be some kind of equality, if it bothers you.
 

UnfinishedSymphon

Registered Member
Only because they choose to take offence. If I laugh at a joke at my expense people shouldn't get offended for me right?

If the person is making a joke, even if it's not funny, then forgive and forget, if the person is saying something to be insulting that's a different matter.
Exactly! Its the intention that offends more than the content!
If somebody is intentionally trying to offend you is the issue. If the person is inadvertantly causing offence you tend to overlook it.
 
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