Why is it wrong to have preferences?

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by Merc, Sep 21, 2008.

  1. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    I ask this question because I was remembering a topic some time ago where a few female members got rather pissed off that men actually had the nerve to have preferences in women. I only ask a simple question: why do people think it's so wrong to have things they prefer over others? Is it that wrong that a guy finds small breasts unattractive? Aren't women part of the same thinking? Can you honestly tell me (women) that you've never held a guy to a personal standard?

    For example, I think big breasts are unsightly. I'm not talking big, but something that would rank a 9+ on a scale of 1-10 in terms of breast size. A pair of drums that could smash a human skull are just not my cup of tea. Also, girls who are "extremes" such as being extremely skinny or massively overweight. I'm a man of balance, I'd like a girl with an average size. Also, red hair is a huge plus.

    What's so wrong with me having a preference? It's not like every girl I'd ever think of dating needs to meet these requirements, these are just ideal to me. I actually find it more offensive that women find this offensive! It basically says, "How dare you men have things you like! Us women never judge you men!" (which we all know is a lie). I'm a blunt person, I say what I like, not what I need, so chill the hell out.

  2. LadyPinky

    LadyPinky scientia potestas est

    Personally as a female I don't see any problem with men havening a preference in the women they are looking to date. Women have their own preferences too even if they won't admit to it. Yes every women should be accepted to have their own type of beauty. But I mean physical attraction is part of dating and developing a relationship with some one. You say you like red hair, so if you happen to date someone with red hair bully. But like you said you are not gonna not date someone just cause they don't have red hair. Similarly I like blue eyes on a man but the guy I'm dating has brown eyes. Its all encoded in our DNA we look for a mate that we like to look at. So yes everyone is entitled to their own opinions on weather not you you should have preferences on who you wanna date. But we all do its just part of nature.

    Yeah rambled a little there hope that ok. :lol: Also Constantine I like how you tell it how it is, and always speak your mind.
  3. Oooh_snap

    Oooh_snap Living on the 0th floor V.I.P. Lifetime

    I don't see a problem in having preferences... it's the people that wouldn't date a girl with a chest as flat as a fourth grader's.. or wouldn't date a slightly chubby girl.. and wouldn't even give them the time of day to get to know them that bother me.
    If someone is willing to give people a chance then there really isn't a problem.. Even if someone isn't willing to try dating anyone out of their preferences there really isn't anything wrong with that.. I just think everyone should be given a chance.

    I have my preferences about guys.. I don't like really skinny guys.. but I would date on if he was cool enough.. I prefer dark hair.. but if a redhead was fun and honest I would date him. If you aren't attracted to a person there is no point in being with a person, so having preferences is normal...

    I think some of the people who got upset were upset because they were hearing things about themselves that guys were saying they couldn't date someone over.. and it can be upsetting to hear someone would find you repulsive because of something that is just how you naturally are.
  4. Obsessiforge

    Obsessiforge - Diderot Reborn -

    nah, I wouldn't say its wrong to have preferences...I just don't. but that's because I'm a hopeless romantic and my preferences all tend to shift based on who I've fallen for at the time. the emotional connection is what shifts all preferences so that what ends up happening is I'll just come to prefer that one person in both physical and emotional senses.
  5. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    For some reason, I just had a flashback to another thread where I believe it was Jeanie, got really upset over guys talking about breast size. I just don't see why it's so 'wrong' to have preferences. I mean, like I said, as long as you don't grade people based on what you want, then what's the big deal? Then again, is it really that bad to turn someone down if they're physically unsightly to you? Some people may not like to hear this, but I'd probably never date a girl with a tumor on her face. Sorry, I wouldn't be able to see past that. Does it make me shallow? No, you know why? Humans are visual animals, we learn what we like and there's no problem with that.

    And no, this thread isn't me calling Jeanie out, it was just started with her post in mind.
  6. Wade8813

    Wade8813 Registered Member

    Racism/sexism/etc made things stickier. It's supposed to be wrong to favor people because of something they can't help like skin color, or height, or bust size, or whatever. But you can't really control who you're attracted to.
  7. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    This is something I've tried to convince people for years and no one seems to get it. Everyone knows that no matter how hard you try to change, it's nearly impossible, especially when it comes to sexual preferences. Change takes years and a lot of mental conditioning, it never happens over night. If you think it does, you're in denial.
  8. Hiei

    Hiei The Hierophant

    I know a chick that really likes me. But I currently don't find her attractive at all. If she were to lose a good 75 lbs. she'd be just about perfect. Believe me. She big. She. Big.

    But she's almost always pissed at me because I don't want to have sex with her. I'm not entirely sure I could get it up for her. Same goes for black chicks. I don't know what it is, but I just can't get into fat chicks or black chicks.

    Although, I think Mexican chicks are fucking HOT!
  9. Obsessiforge

    Obsessiforge - Diderot Reborn -

    well, I've always had a bit of trouble separating sexual and emotional attraction. I think that's really just human nature, to build emotional connections, etc. as opposed to screwing like rabbits for the sake of it alone. now, I'm not saying that sexual preference doesn't or shouldn't exist, only that I've never been able to analyze what I'm attracted to personally because like I said, I fall for people on the whole, not for any specific traits. often times it isn't rational or logical. but hey. c'est la vie.
  10. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    Yeah and that's my question, what's so wrong about that? People these days think you need to blind yourself and drive yourself to love everything about everyone. If some guy turns a girl down because she's fat, it's like a civil rights violation. But if a chick does that to a guy, it's no big deal.

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