Where do I post story outlines?

Discussion in 'Art & Creative' started by JAdams, Aug 10, 2009.

  1. JAdams

    JAdams Registered Member

    Hey, I'm back after seven weeks of absent. :D

    I'm planning out a mystery novel and was wondering where I can post a story outline for critique...or is this not the forums for it? I know this was "writers and authors" and thought I'd give it a shot, but I wanted to make sure. :)
     

  2. dDave

    dDave Guardian of the Light V.I.P.

    Hey, welcome back...

    I think you're in the right forum for that already, if I was going to make a plot outline for critiquing I would definitely put it here.

    By the way, if you're wondering where something goes I would just post it where you think it should go and then if it's out of place then a mod or admin will move it.

    so let's get it, I want to read it now. :nod:
     
  3. JAdams

    JAdams Registered Member

    M'kay. So here's the premisis of the story: It's a mystery story set in Rossville in 1770. We follow the adventures of Amos Meddlin, a blind French orphan as he cracks mysteries thrown at him.

    I did consider having it from his POV, but then where would the drama be if it wasn't in third person?

    I also considered doing a prologue first, get to know how we met Amos, but then again, that can all just be backstory and we'll start with Chapter One.

    Ah well, I'll work on the outline for Chapter One. :D
    ------
    Here it is. It's not really that fleshed out and completed yet and honestly, I think I rushed it a bit with the whole developing Amos' world then to the mystery.

    I wanted it to be like Amos unknowingly enters his first mystery after his conversation with a Frenchman he meets.

    To be honest, I kinda want him to be adopted by a plantation owner named Nathan Maywalker after the man discovers Amos in the tavern, but then that would add even MORE chapters while the mystery itself is just lingering away.

    I know it's probably no big deal, but I've heard that mystery stories often launch into the plot within the first three chapters, but I also want to flesh out Amos' world so we have a chance to know him and the people he's with.

    Well, here's my outline for chapter one. Enjoy. :D

    CHAPTER ONE
    The story opens up to the main character, Amos Meddlin sleeping face down on a small bed, snoring softly. The room is sparse, containing only a drawer, a small table, and in a corner is a long stick he uses for a cane.
    The door suddenly opens, a woman in her early 30s groans as she sees Amos still asleep.

    “Aimé!” she says as she shakes Amos awake. “What are you doing still asleep? It’s mid-day!”
    Amos wakes up.
    “Mid-day, Denise?” he asks. “What time?”
    “Nine o’clock. The tavern is flooded with patrons and we need your help. Come on, get up and get ready!”
    Swearing, Amos bolts out of the bed, he seizes a sleeve of his nightgown, about to pull it off.
    “Your clothes are on the table. Hurry!” Denise says before she closes the door again.
    As Amos gropes for the table and throws his clothes on, he mentally kicks himself for sleeping late. He blamed it on the guest that visited the tavern, keeping him up with stories about his adventures in sea. He snatches his cane and makes his way out of the room and upstairs.

    The tavern Amos lives and works in is called the Colonial Port tavern. A moldy, two-storied brick building that is run by Mr. Charles Wilkins and his family…or that’s how it used to be before his wife died and child ran off to be apprenticed as a blacksmith.
    The tavern is indeed crowded. When Amos enters, his ears are bombarded by the ruckus laughter, roars and hearty chit-chatting from various places.
    “Amos!” came the booming voice of Mr. Wilkins. Amos feels thick, sausage fingers on his shoulder as he’s lead to the bar. “Wha’ kept ye?”
    Amos pushes aside all excuses, knowing they won’t work on him. He apologizes.
    “Very well.” Mr. Wilkins said as he hands out a large pitcher. “Why don’t you take this to th’ man in the far right corner?”
    Amos nods and makes his way through the crowd. At various times, he’s greeted by returning patrons with all sorts of nicknames and slaps on the back. He grins through his teeth, resisting the urge to dump the contents on them all. Once he reaches the man, he feels for the empty cup and gently, ever so gently, he begins to pour.
    “Tough day, no?” a deep voice with a clear French accent said from Amos’ left. “Looks crowded.”
    “I just woke up, sir.” Amos said, his fingers touching the cup, trying to feel the liquid inside rising without actually sticking his fingers in it.
    “Pardon my behavior, boy. My name is Francis-Pierre. And you are…Aimé, correct?”
    “Yes sir.” Amos said.
    “No offense intended, Aimé, but-ah! Careful now!” Francis-Pierre grabs the pitcher and tilts it back up before Amos can overflow his cup. “That’s good, thank you.”
    Amos smiles sheepishly.
    “Now, as I was saying…how is it that Mr. Wilkins came to meet you?”
    “He brought me in.”
    Clearly uncomfortable, Amos seizes the pitcher and is about to walk away, but Francis-Pierre gently takes the boy’s elbow.
    “That old coot? But he hates the French. Hated them after the war.”
    Amos freezes.
    “You’ve fought…in that war also?”
    “I served my country valiantly during the Seven Years War, young Aimé, and now I live in splendor with my darling wife and young child. His name is Pierre, should be around your age.”
     
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2009
  4. dDave

    dDave Guardian of the Light V.I.P.

    That's actually a pretty decent plot, definitely unique especially compared to your standard mystery story. I like it.

    I've read books with blind people as the main character (Mainly Oedipus at Colonus), it's quite a bit different when the protagonist of the story can't see anything literally.

    Great story idea if you ask me, I think other people here will like it too.
     
  5. JAdams

    JAdams Registered Member

    Thank ye. :)

    Y'know, when you said standard mystery story, I suspect that you may be right. Amos isn't going to be investigating mysteries by the book. He'll often stumble upon something and end up solving it his way.

    So I guess it wouldn't hurt if I started the mystery a little later than usual. I just don't want readers to be banging their heads screaming when the mystery's going to get started.

    Although, I do think the first chapter's a bit cramped...maybe I can flesh it out some?

    EDIT: My only problem really are the tense, dramatic scenes and the climaxes. Guess I'll have to think up of clever ways for Amos to outsmart the bad guy without putting himself in TOO much danger.

    EDIT II: I had a neat idea of switching POVs from time to time, like we'd be in Amos' POV, then someone else's, then Amos' POV again. Would that work out well or no?
     
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2009
  6. DLFerguson

    DLFerguson Registered Member

    While I was reading this there was only thing that I couldn't get out of my head: this is obviously a prosperous tavern since it's full of customers at 9 in the morning. Is the owner that cheap or that hard up that he can't hire a couple of busty barmaids instead of having a blind orphan serve drinks?
     
  7. JAdams

    JAdams Registered Member

    Hmmm...good point.

    I'll probably include more workers in there. Good thing this isn't the final product. :lol:

    Yeah, I'll revise the tavern. Thanks for pointing that out.
     

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