When someone dies..


...do you wear black clothes in the day they are buried?
DO you keep the black clothes for days/weeks/months?
DO you wear make up [for girls] ?
DO you get back soon to your normal life?

When someone dies over here, women wear black clothes and keep them at least the first 6 months.
They wear no make up and they have no normal life. They don't go to parties, other celebrations, any up-coming wedding is canceled, any travel plan is also canceled to be respectful towards the person who's dead.
Sometimes women get judged when they get back to normal life and are seen as unfaithful towards their dead beloved one.

My friend's dad died of a heart attack last month, and she and her mother went to travel around the world.
They were judged badly by everyone who knew them because according to these people, they should've stayed home at leaast 6 months and not do anything they enjoy.

This is pretty stupid, if you ask me. Just because you get back to normal life, does't mean you don't feel sorry about the person who passed away.

What happens in your culture?
In our culture, we're supposed to wear black for the funeral*, but none of this other stuff you mentioned. I've never heard of waiting 6 months before doing things that you enjoy again, and I think it sounds absurd.

*Though, I went to my first funeral a couple of months ago and I wore a beatles t-shirt. :lol: But I knew the person who died very well, it was a family member, and I know that they wanted it to be more light-hearted so that's why I didn't wear all black. If it was someone I didn't know well then I would wear black out of respect.

Oh, and life returns to normal the very next day, apart from being sad of course. We're encouraged to carry on doing the things we love/normally would do, I suppose.
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Sally Twit
do you wear black clothes in the day they are buried?
I've never been to a funeral. I was only 11 when my cousin died and my mum said I was too young to go. To be honest I would wear black because it's traditionl. I wear black most days anyway.

DO you keep the black clothes for days/weeks/months?
I'm sure I'd buy something specific for the funeral and never wear it again. I wouldn't throw it away though.

DO you wear make up [for girls] ?
I only wear make up when I go on a night out so no I wouldn't wear any to a funeral.

DO you get back soon to your normal life?
I really couldn't answer this. I was too young to feel anything really when my cousin died. I missed him but what got to me the most was seeing my mum cry day after day.


Where is my Queen?
I went to a friend's funeral a couple of months ago and the people that did not know him very well wore black, and the people that knew him better wore green and blue. I never waited 6 months to get back to my regular life, in fact 6 hours later I went to a bar and played darts. I know that sounds distastful but I was still very sad and I made a promise to myself that I would not change my life around due to a death of someone I care about. Even to this day I am sad.


Epic Gamer
I tend to wear black because that's the norm for such occasions. As for getting back to normality after the funeral...we do it pretty much straight away, I guess.
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rainbow 11!
I went to my first funeral last July, I wore all black. I tried to get back into the swing of things, but it's hard. It's not a social norm here for you to wait six months before opening up. i would try to be normal, but more of the time i was just a shell. I would say that it wasn't until september that I stopped faking it and was actually being HAPPY for once. I still miss her a lot and I still have a lot of bad days.

I didn't wear make up because what was the point? I cried the entire time. It would have just ran down my face and made me look even worse. The only time I wear black purposely with her in my thoughts was the day of the funeral, since then I wear black because it's a nice shirt or pants.


In need of Entertainment
Interesting thread Elly.

When someone (close family member only: parents, siblings, offspring) dies we rip the shirt we are wearing to symbolize our deep sorrow. Black is completely insignificant when it comes to mourning/funeral.
After the funeral takes place the family has to sit "Shiva" means there is a period of a week where they mourn their loss, by sitting on low stools/floor, while the congregation come and visit the mourners throughout the week and help with meals and comfort.
During the time of the shiva and for the next whole year men do not shave, and none cut their hair. They do not listen to music or go to happy occasions (like weddings and such) and the sons of the deceased say a special prayer when they go to the synagogue.
30 days after the funeral, the stone slab is erected on the grave.
When the year is up (and every year following on the date of death) it is customary to visit the grave and pray there.
I've attend two funerals. On both occasions people dressed in any colour of their choice formal clothing. Afterwards life goes on.


Sultan of Swat
Staff member
When I go to a funeral I do wear black clothes, but when it's over I start wearing my usual clothes.

I've only lost one person really close to me and I went back to my normal life after it was all said and done.