What to do if a friend is taking advantage of me?

CubsMascot

Registered Member
#1
How much is too much when you believe that a friend is taking advantage of you? Are you the kind of person that would put a stop to it in a hurry or let it keep happening in fear of losing this friend?

How would you exactly handle this if it's a friendship of over 30 yrs?
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
#2
With a long time friendship I might let it slide if it only happened once or twice but if it was getting to be a regular thing I would have to say something. Of course first I would let them know their friendship was important to me, if it was, but then I would have to ask what is going on, listen to them, and tell them how it was making me feel. See if things could be resolved and if not maybe take a break from each other or end the friendship.
 

Shooting_Palanx

The Rock is cooking atm..
#3
I would be disappointed at first, but for me it's bad if it becomes a consistent thing. If it's a one time thing sort of situation? I let it slide. I'm genuinely a very nice person to a fault as most would say. But overall it wouldn't bother me, and it also depends on which friend. I have friends that I'd probably let it slide, and those that I probably wouldn't.
 

Doc

Trust me, I'm The Doctor.
V.I.P.
#4
30 year friendship? I would give them some space and then go out someplace for a dinner or something fun. During the time together I would mention, kindly, how they were making me feel. My next actions would depend on their own. If they got upset, and showed no empathy, I would throw a false apology or change the subject or something. No need to escalate. If they gave me a reason, or asked questions, I would know that my friend cared about my feelings. From there it's much easier to work out the issue or agree to disagree.

30 years is too long to give up.
 

Sian

Registered Member
#5
Difficult decision. Does this friend really need the help? Are they taking advantage of you just to make life easier for them or are they truely needy? And how much can you afford to help them? Is it harming you or is it just a matter of pride, knowing that you are being taken advantage of? Ultimately you need to decide for yourself what to do; is there a good reason for letting it go on? And I would speak to them, in a nice way, if you think their actions are not really needed.
 
#6
If a friend was taking advantage of me, I wouldn't be that worried about losing the friendship if I put a stop to it because if he or she is taking advantage of me a lot, then they're not a true friend for me.
 
#7
I guess it would depend on what "it" is. I mean, in what ways specifically does this friend take advantage? If someone, anyone, but most especially someone with whom you have a 30 year history, is treating you with a lack of respect, then either find out why and get to the root of the problem (if this is a more recent development) or, if it's always been this way, accept that you have committed a great deal of your life to a friendship with someone who never respected you to begin with and put an end to it.

I was friends with someone for over 35 years before he started to disrespect me as a way to impress someone he, for some inexplicable reason, idolized. The deterioration of the friendship actually began before that, but it was at that point where he actually decided using violence with me would really be impressive. It was a few years after that he borrowed some money from me then moved away without saying a word. Just a final FU before leaving. As it turned out, I didn't regret the loss of that friendship as much as I would have expected to. In fact, I don't miss him at all. I am much better off in the company of only those who respect me.
 
#8
number one thing- dont hate em. realize they are tryin to compensate for something lacking inside themselves, usually a disconnect from their parents (and thus from God, who primarily connects to us thru our earthly parents)

wish em well and cut contact. best way to do it imo
 
Top