What should I do?

Discussion in 'Advice Board' started by Iris, Oct 21, 2009.

  1. Iris

    Iris rainbow 11!

    So, my parents have these three particular friends. Jeanie (not the member here), her husband Butters, and then Susan, who is a friend with my parents as well as Butters and Jeanie.

    Well, Susan and Butters are having an affair. Pretty much everyone but Jeanie knows and no one but myself and my sister seem to be willing and wanting to tell Jeanie about it.

    My sister can't, she is in Cincinnati and so extremely stressed that she is panicking over it. My mom isn't even town right now. I don't even think my dad knows...

    I really care about Jeanie, I have always been close with her and Emma. They were the ones that actually listened to me as I was growing up.

    I want to tell her, but should I? I have no idea how I would do it either. Also, Jeanie was talking with my sister and they got on the topic of cheating in general and Jeanie said to my sister that she would want to know. If Butters ever cheated on her, she would want to know. He has done it before and she doesn't want to be the fool again.

  2. icegoat63

    icegoat63 Son of Liberty V.I.P. Lifetime

    I dont think you should. Its not your place IMO. I think you should do the opposite... and tell the two having the affair that you know and then do what you can to convince them to come clean to Jeanie.

    In my honest opinion thats the most honest and best way to go about it.

    Then! Also give them some time, if Butters (Awesome name btw) doesnt come clean... THEN you can tell Jeanie. But I wouldnt rush in guns-a-blazin though. Thats traumatic news to tell someone.
  3. CaptainObvious

    CaptainObvious Son of Liberty V.I.P.

    I agree with Goat, I don't think you should. I don't think it's your place to tell her. I wouldn't do anything at all, actually. It's their business and let them sort it out.

    I also agree, Butters is a pretty cool name, I may have people start calling me that, kinda like George Costanza trying to get people to call him T-Bone.
  4. Jeanie

    Jeanie still nobody's bitch V.I.P. Lifetime

    If you or your sister are going to tell Jeanie, you have to be prepared for two things. First, you have to be prepared for her to be upset with you. Second, you MUST have solid evidence. You can't just say "oh everyone knows" you have to have absolute rock solid evidence, because she can't confront him on suspicion. I have BTDT and it doesn't work.
  5. icegoat63

    icegoat63 Son of Liberty V.I.P. Lifetime

    This is definitely true. And sort of the reason I dont think its safe to just come out and tell someone like that. I do feel that your best route is to confront the cheaters, let them know you know and apparently your sister to. Then tell them they need to stop and think about this Jeanie character and that if they cant correct the behavior that they do need to without a doubt tell the jeanie character before she gets completely devasted. I mean cheating is cheating, that hit hurts no matter what but I do think that the longer it goes on the worse that hit gets for the innocent party.
  6. AnitaKnapp

    AnitaKnapp It's not me, it's you. V.I.P. Lifetime

    That is a tough situation to be put into. I definitely wouldn't say a thing if there were no evidence. What kind of relationship do you have with her now? Do you and her discuss things such as relationships? If it were me, I would probably leave it to someone who is closer to her than you are. This isn't just some random woman he is having an affair with either...it's their friend. Feelings are definitely going to get hurt.

    Honestly, I would leave it to your mom (when she gets back) or Joanne to decide whether or not they want to do it. I don't think that you should.
  7. Jeanie

    Jeanie still nobody's bitch V.I.P. Lifetime

    lol @ "the jeanie character"

    it's not me, honestly.
  8. Iris

    Iris rainbow 11!

    They have been doing this for years, so I doubt they will tell her. But I will try confronting them one day.

    I am prepared for her to be upset with me. It's something I expect as her initial reaction.
    My mom will be in no state to handle it. She is in rehab right now. My sister is up north, pregnant, stressed about my mom and her biological dad.

    I will see if I can acquire evidence.
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2009
  9. AnitaKnapp

    AnitaKnapp It's not me, it's you. V.I.P. Lifetime

    If this has been going on for years...did you just find out about it?
  10. icegoat63

    icegoat63 Son of Liberty V.I.P. Lifetime

    lol I believe you, I realize thats not even your real name and you are hundreds of miles away :hah: Its just hard to quote a "Jeanie" then talk about another "Jeanie" and clarify that I'm not addressing you hahahaha all in formalities I spose. lol.

    Oooof yeah that is some epic suck. I would say if you're that sure you can get evidence and you're that prepared to break her down... then go for it. Man oh man I'd hate to be in either of your shoes though. I do hope for the best if you decide to let her know yourself.

    I think in the end if you tell her she may forgive you, I mean you may have to plead the "Dont shoot the messanger" play... but man I cant even imagine how unfortunate that'd be.

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