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What do I do with matchmaking?

Interis

Registered Member
So, my friends are trying to set me up with some potential candidates. Because I live far from them, it's more like they send me someone's profile and his contact number, telling me to try talking to him. I'd be more willing to try if that person lives in the same city or if I work with him. This way, we are complete strangers. How am I supposed to start? I don't know what to say anyway, so I think it's best to stay low for now.

Should I change my mind?
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
Maybe basically just start out by saying hi and how are you, how is your day, casual talk. Providing that you want to, if not I wouldn't and I would let my friends know that while you appreciate the effort you really aren't interested at this time or let them know you aren't interested in anyone that lives too far away.
 

Interis

Registered Member
@Hilander We would have to start with introductions and I would have to explain the whole story. I think I'm not comfortable with that yet. I did promise myself not to brush chances away (especially about relationships) because we'll never know, though. I'm kind of torn that way.
 

NellyBell

Registered Member
So your friends are giving you his info and him your info or is it all dependent on you? It can be awkward to talk to complete strangers, I totally get that, so maybe if that's part of your problem you could try talking to them online first? Sometimes that's an easier way to break the ice because you get time to think about your responses/questions and don't have to worry about how much you stammer, how high your voice gets when you're nervous, etc. etc. I feel like I'm missing part of the story though, haha. What is it that you are worried about explaining to them?
 

Pepper

Registered Member
I think that, if your friends have also passed on your information to him, there is no harm. However, if you're the only one who knows about this, it sounds awkward and weird.
 

Interis

Registered Member
So your friends are giving you his info and him your info or is it all dependent on you? It can be awkward to talk to complete strangers, I totally get that, so maybe if that's part of your problem you could try talking to them online first? Sometimes that's an easier way to break the ice because you get time to think about your responses/questions and don't have to worry about how much you stammer, how high your voice gets when you're nervous, etc. etc. I feel like I'm missing part of the story though, haha. What is it that you are worried about explaining to them?
I think that, if your friends have also passed on your information to him, there is no harm. However, if you're the only one who knows about this, it sounds awkward and weird.
I think I'm the one who has his contact info, he doesn't know me yet. I can't imagine how I should start, though. Imagine if someone you don't know start talking to you and when you ask why he says he's looking for a relationship partner. I don't have any other reason to reach out to him and I don't feel like I should make up a lie. I've been in that kind of position before so I know how uncomfortable it can be.
 

NellyBell

Registered Member
That does sound uncomfortable. Personally, I would ask my friends to at least let him know that they gave their friend they think he might be into his contact information so that it isn't too out of the blue when you contact him and he's already got the basic idea of why you're reaching out to him in the first place. It's way less awkward for your friends.
 

Millz

Better Call Saul
Staff member
V.I.P.
Maybe I missed it but do they know these people they are trying to match with you? Or did they just pick random people? Sounds a bit sketchy either way.

I wouldn't do something if you're not comfortable with it.
 

Smelnick

Creeping On You
V.I.P.
Your friends should probably mention to these guys that a girl might be randomly messaging them soon. I get random messages from random girls sometimes, and its always just scambots so I just ignore all random messages lol. As for it being weird to open the conversation? Meh, just say hello, eventually he'll ask how you know him and you can just be honest and explain whats up. Its not creepy, you gotta meet people somehow right? Even if its long distance, just befriend them for good conversation :D
 

Interis

Registered Member
Maybe I missed it but do they know these people they are trying to match with you? Or did they just pick random people? Sounds a bit sketchy either way.

I wouldn't do something if you're not comfortable with it.
They know him. Maybe more as an acquaintance than a friend, though. I guess that's part of why I'm hesitant to start. We don't really know who he is.

Your friends should probably mention to these guys that a girl might be randomly messaging them soon. I get random messages from random girls sometimes, and its always just scambots so I just ignore all random messages lol. As for it being weird to open the conversation? Meh, just say hello, eventually he'll ask how you know him and you can just be honest and explain whats up. Its not creepy, you gotta meet people somehow right? Even if its long distance, just befriend them for good conversation :D
It may be okay if we say it when we meet face to face. I'm not so sure when it's done via messages, though. It's very easy to pretend to be something else when you're on social media. I guess since I personally don't like to be contacted that way for this kind of topic, it's hard to bring myself to think otherwise. That's why I'm never into Tinder and stuff.
 
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