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Were your children planned?
- Thread starter Bliss
- Start date
The first one came as a shock. I was fifteen! As one drunken wedding guest put it, my older bride "took serious what poked at her in fun." Crude, but more or less accurate. I assumed that the marriage was a temporary formality for the sake of her honor, but we wound up having a second before finally splitting apart. What the thought was in that cse, I've forgotten.
I moved in with another girl and got her pregged, probably partly to fill the void of separation after moving away from the other two. My motives in those days, understand, were more impulsive than clear-minded and focused. She, like the first wife, turned out to be a hasty and ill-fitting choice and I had to break camp again.
Having learned very little, I shacked up with a third, newly-discovered chick, who assured me that she was on birth control. Nope. What's worse, she miscarried, but convinced me that we should marry anyway to keep her poor parents from being devastated. Still just 21, I more or less gave up on my Cinderella dreams of a perfect domestic life and let the tide take me where it would. This brilliant experiment in lethargy netted me twenty years of shrew exposure and two more children. That process didn't involve much thinking at all. But I got to parent those kids through to full size, and their thanks makes all the Chinese water torture of a long, tough marriage an unimportant back burner memory.
I moved in with another girl and got her pregged, probably partly to fill the void of separation after moving away from the other two. My motives in those days, understand, were more impulsive than clear-minded and focused. She, like the first wife, turned out to be a hasty and ill-fitting choice and I had to break camp again.
Having learned very little, I shacked up with a third, newly-discovered chick, who assured me that she was on birth control. Nope. What's worse, she miscarried, but convinced me that we should marry anyway to keep her poor parents from being devastated. Still just 21, I more or less gave up on my Cinderella dreams of a perfect domestic life and let the tide take me where it would. This brilliant experiment in lethargy netted me twenty years of shrew exposure and two more children. That process didn't involve much thinking at all. But I got to parent those kids through to full size, and their thanks makes all the Chinese water torture of a long, tough marriage an unimportant back burner memory.
Dabs
Registered Member
I am ashamed to say, none of my children were planned.
In fact, shortly before I had children, I was muttering I never wanted any~
I had my first child at age 16 and then my second child came 11 months later, when I was 17.
I wanted that to be all....I had one girl and one boy, and so I asked my doctor to give me a tubal...he said no way, I was much too young.
So...then when I was 19, I had my third child, I again asked for a tubal.......they said normally they like a woman to be at least age 21 to have a tubal ligation done...so I was declined again.
But, it was probably a blessing, because the first 3 children were with hubby number one..and after we divorced and I married hubby number two...I got pregnant with my 4th child......and I gave birth to him when I was age 22.
And he was a boy, so it gave my then husband a son to carry on his name....that ended up being the one and only child he ever had of his (but he was a great step-dad to my other children).....
So after preparing for my last child's birth...all 4 were C-section....I had talked to this doctor about getting my tubes tied and he said YES!
And afterwards, he came into my hospital room and told me and my husband that my insides were all mixed up, it looked like a jigsaw puzzle in there..and he also said I had other problems, and I was lucky to have carried this last baby full term...and....I wouldn't have been able to have more children anyway...so, that was that.
In fact, shortly before I had children, I was muttering I never wanted any~
I had my first child at age 16 and then my second child came 11 months later, when I was 17.
I wanted that to be all....I had one girl and one boy, and so I asked my doctor to give me a tubal...he said no way, I was much too young.
So...then when I was 19, I had my third child, I again asked for a tubal.......they said normally they like a woman to be at least age 21 to have a tubal ligation done...so I was declined again.
But, it was probably a blessing, because the first 3 children were with hubby number one..and after we divorced and I married hubby number two...I got pregnant with my 4th child......and I gave birth to him when I was age 22.
And he was a boy, so it gave my then husband a son to carry on his name....that ended up being the one and only child he ever had of his (but he was a great step-dad to my other children).....
So after preparing for my last child's birth...all 4 were C-section....I had talked to this doctor about getting my tubes tied and he said YES!
And afterwards, he came into my hospital room and told me and my husband that my insides were all mixed up, it looked like a jigsaw puzzle in there..and he also said I had other problems, and I was lucky to have carried this last baby full term...and....I wouldn't have been able to have more children anyway...so, that was that.
SuiGeneris
blue 3
I can honestly say that Ethan was planned.....NOT.
I can't say I'm really ashamed by the fact that my child was unplanned, I don't understand the whole stigma over that, but I can say that it certainly makes it harder.
I can say that I'm extremely happy about that it has happened, even if it was just a product of his mommy and daddy having a little too much fun on a party night..heh
I can't say I'm really ashamed by the fact that my child was unplanned, I don't understand the whole stigma over that, but I can say that it certainly makes it harder.
I can say that I'm extremely happy about that it has happened, even if it was just a product of his mommy and daddy having a little too much fun on a party night..heh
Dabs
Registered Member
Maybe I should take back that I am ashamed....because I'm very happy that I have my children.
I guess at 16, I couldn't say anything was planned....but I'm thinking maybe at my age now.....I should have had more "planned"...by more I mean, things in my life, not just children.
But my children weren't the results of too much partying either ~LoL~
I didn't drink, didn't smoke pot or anything....mine were just the result of too much fucking :lol:
SuiGeneris
blue 3
Haha, it's apple to a pear. Either way our children were a product of us having too much fun! Ours was actually a broken condom, but we were both pretty drunk at the time.
But yeah I understand, I can't imagine having a child at 16. I mean, I'm 22 and I feel like I'm way to young.
I can't speak for my own experience, but unplanned children run rampant in my family. Both my older brother, and most recently my younger brother can boast to unplanned kids. My youngest brother himself was unplanned, and same with my older brother. My aunt was unplanned. Our family barely blinks an eye at accidental children =P
I don't have any children, but I would take every precaution necessary to not have one unless I was in a stable relationship with the woman I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with, could provide ample financial support, and was mentally prepared to be a father. I think it's irresponsible to do otherwise. If all those conditions are met though, then I don't think it matters whether the child was planned or not.
