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Welcome to my nightmare


The Hierophant
Hello there to people that I remember, people that remember me, and to anyone who may be new to my presence.

I am Hiei, the one and only. There has been a lot that has happened since the last time that I logged in on here and to be honest, I can't remember all of it. I guess the biggest thing to mention is that I've been diagnosed with a psychological problem called schizoaffective disorder.

I've been seeing a psychiatrist and a psychologist overt the past few months because the stress of daily life, the hallucinations both visually and auditorally, and job related stress have broken me down to nearly having a mental breakdown. I've been put on medication to help stabilize my moods and to help with my schizo problems. It seems to be working, but I'm going to need more time for it to build up in my system before I can say for sure.

You know, I find it kind of funny and I find it kind of sad that when I would tell people that I'm crazy or that I feel like I'm going crazy, people would either laugh at me or dismiss it. Turns out, I really am crazy. That's not directed at anyone on here, mostly directed at anyone I've ever talked to. :lol:

How has GF been?

Posed On my phone, sorry if it doesn't entirely make sense.


It's not me, it's you.

I've missed you so much. It's good to see you around. I always knew you were crazy as batshit, but I've always loved you.

Hmmm...I can't remember the last time I talked to you or what was going on then for me. lol
I moved back around the area that I was originally from, met and lived with a guy that was a cheating asshole, then kicked him out. I changed my phone number when the ass wouldn't stop calling me, so I must give that to you.

Most recently I found that I'm allergic to everything when I had a procedure done. Stitches, tape (adhesives on my skin) and sulfa. I have to get a medical id bracelet and shit. It sucks.


Sally Twit
Nice to hear from you again, Mikel. I do worry when you disappear for long periods of time.

I hope you get the help required to get past the bad time you are you currently going through.
If you want to chat to anyone, you know where I am.


still nobody's bitch
It's so great to see you, Hiei! I've really missed you <3

I'm glad you got that sorted. And yeah, I can see that. It fits. I always knew you were crazy too, and I love you.


The Hierophant
well helloooooo, ladies! Its good too see you, too! :)

Pam, I'm sorry to hear that. Its good that you got away from that ass munch but unfortunate he couldn't see that he totally fucked it all up. I'm sure You're better off weight his dead weight dragging you down, anyway.

Blissy, I love you. How have you been? I know where you are but sometimes the voices in my head convince me that I'm bout good enough to talk to anyone or that no one will care if I do talk it out. :-/


still nobody's bitch
Well, you know that all three of us care, love. I still have the same phone number.


The Hierophant
The main reason that I come back after such long stretches of time away is because I'm at an up period of time. It seems to be even I get into the depressive point that I'm convinced, unjustly so, that I'm a worthless piece of shit and that I don't deserve any attention from anyone under any circumstances. Then the shadow people start to visit me. That's when things get scary and I start losing all control of my emotions.
Its very comforting and nice to know that you all care. I just need reminded from time to time. And thank you very much, it means a lot. I love you, too.
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Free Spirit
Staff member
Hi ya Hiei, we all have our problems and bouts with craziness, I have, but don't let it keep you away from here. This is where you belong, with us. Actually we aren't crazy everyone else is which makes us seem so.


The Hierophant
Hi ya Hiei, we all have our problems and bouts with craziness, I have, but don't let it keep you away from here. This is where you belong, with us. Actually we aren't crazy everyone else is which makes us seem so.
That's actually what made me seek help, the fact that other people don't normally deal with the things that I do. This is a great community and I'm glass
that there are people here that I can talk to.
Hey, Hiei, what's up? I mostly get stress due to overworking and the weird things only happen in my dreams.
I don't want to sound like my problems are any more serious or more that I'm being self centered but please don't try to compare your problems to mine. I've been hearing voices in my head and seeing things that aren't there for fifteen years or more. It's more than just work related stress and more than just in my dreams. If you feel like you have a problem I urge you to seek professional help and don't wait as long as I did.
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