Ways To Turn Men Down

Shrek

Registered Member
#1
HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.

HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.

HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.

HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.

From:GigglePedia
:rolleyes:
 

marshall

Registered Member
#2
The female perspective

I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")

There's a slight difference in our ages.
(You are one jurassic geezer.)

I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)

My life is too complicated right now.
(I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone
calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)

I've got a boyfriend
(who's really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's).

I don't date men where I work.
(Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same
'solar system', much less the same building.)

It's not you, it's me.
(It's not me, it's you.)

I'm concentrating on my career.
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better
than dating you.)

I'm celibate.
(I've sworn off only the men like you.)

Let's be friends.
(I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating
detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It's
that male perspective thing.)