Virginity: does it matter?

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/ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5
There was a case here where a couple's marriage was annuled because the bride wasn't a virgin. Actually she lied about being a virgin. The court says the "non virginity" itself is not the issue but rather the breach of contract, because the bride had lied about what the husband saw as an essential quality in his wife.

Outrage as French judge annuls Muslim marriage over bride's virginity lie - Times Online

For the ladies: Would you lie about your virginity to your partner if you knew it was important to him?

For the guys: Does it matter to you if your partner lied about her virginity?


Registered Member
I would be worried if my significant other couldn't tell me if they were a virgin or not. In my particular case, though, it's weird. My long-term girlfriend was sexually abused when she was 12 over the course of several months. So technically, she's not a virgin, and that doesn't matter to me. The pain and searing agony that wells up inside me when I think about, though, is just horrible. However, on the flip side, she's never had sex outside those few months and that does matter to me. I'm not going to rule someone out because they're not a virgin but I would prefer that my partner's sexual experiences be minimal, just because it makes our relationship feel more meaningful.
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The Original Kiwi
No, I would never lie about it. But then I was a virgin, so there was nothing to lie about. Knyte was not a virgin, and I know full well what his background was. I think when it comes to sexuality, you need to be 100% honest with your spouse. I'm not sure if I could continue to trust someone that wasn't honest with me about that (whether they are a virgin or not is much less of an issue).


Registered Member
I'm not sure if I could continue to trust someone that wasn't honest with me about that (whether they are a virgin or not is much less of an issue).
That's exactly what I'm saying. If you're going to be in a meaningful, lasting relationship then you need to be entirely honest with each other. You can't be covering up your past just to make the other person more secure.


Son of Liberty
Doesnt make a difference to me. Funny thing though in high school I actually was closer friends with the girls I knew were virgins.... mainly because I wasnt interested in pursuing them sexually. I respected their choice and never pushed for any of them to loose it, I feel theres a special time for everyone to lose it and I sure as hell didnt want to impede it! However the whole virgin thing never really did anything for me, I mean who looks forward to playing chess against someone who cant even set up the board?

I think that if my fiance had come out and told me she hadn't been with anyone prior to me I'd have 2 feelings. One would be a feeling of being special because I would get to be her first. Then the second feeling would be more of a fear that now that she's had one, will she ever want to know what others are like? Thats not a thing I care to tempt.

However in my life this is what I had: I wasn't her first so I didn't get to feel special in that sense. But! After experiencing what she had before me, she chose me to stay with and that is not only a confidence booster but it makes a guy like me feel really good.
Back when the question may actually have come up, I never lied to anyone about my virginity, or lack thereof.
I agree that being honest about your past is an important part of any relationship, but full disclosure shouldn't be necessary.


The Hierophant
I don't see any point in lieing about your virginity. And I see even less of a point getting your marriage annuled over it.

If I found out that my supposedly virgin wife wasn't a virgin before we got married, I'd be more pissed that she didn't have sex with me before we got married than the fact that she lied to me.

But to answer the question, no, I don't care if she lied about her virginity or not.


Registered Member
If he desires a virgin wife, it's his right; if she wants to lie about it, it's her right. Lies, however are bad for a relationship -- it's like hanging a poster over a hole in the wall.


Registered Member
No, which is why the second half of my post says I think lies are bad for a relationship ;).

As for it being a trivial matter, it wasn't to him, and it was legal for him to end the contract because of it. I've heard of other, more trivial things before, too.
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