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Very Funny Email

Stripes_Z_Zebra

Registered Member
So, I got this email from my mom and thought I'd share it with y'all. Its really funny and I think you guys will enjoy this. It made me laugh really hard. :lol:


>>> Why you should not make your husband go to Target with you
>>>
>>> After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
>>> Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
>>> preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like
>>> most
>>> women - she loves to browse.
>>>
>>> Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local
>>> Target store.
>>>
>>> Dear Mrs.Samsel,
>>>
>>> Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion
>>> in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to
>>> ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr.
>>> Samsel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
>>> cameras.
>>>
>>> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
>>> people's carts when they weren't looking.
>>>
>>> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
>>> 5-minute intervals.
>>>
>>> 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
>>> women's restroom.
>>>
>>> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
>>> voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away! This caused the
>>> employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her
>>> Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing
>>> management
>>> to lose time and costing the company money.
>>>
>>> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms
>>> on layaway.
>>>
>>> 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>>>
>>> 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
>>> children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
>>> blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
>>>
>>> 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
>>> crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs
>>> were called.
>>>
>>> 9 September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as
>>> a mirror while he picked his nose.
>>>
>>> 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
>>> asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
>>>
>>> 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
>>> humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
>>>
>>> 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna
>>> look' by using different sizes of funnels.
>>>
>>> 13. October 13. Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
>>> through, He yelled, PICK ME, PICK ME.
>>>
>>> 14. October 21. When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
>>> assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
>>>
>>> And last, but not least:
>>>
>>> 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
>>> awhile; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
>>> One of the clerks passed out.
>>>
>>>
>>
 

Twitch

Registered Member
Haha, I've read those before.

Although, it was just a list of stuff to do while in a store, I don't think the man actually did any of those things.
 

Jeru

Registered Member
Oh man that was great....made my night

care if i steal that? i want to show that to someone
 

Merc

Problematic Shitlord
V.I.P.
It's a forgery of a much, much older message called "61 fun things to do at Walmart".

It's still funny, but definitely aged.
 
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