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Discuss Unwanted Advice

sunrise

aka ginger warlock
V.I.P.
I am sure this has happened to everyone on here at least once, you get into a conversation with someone and you mention something that has happened, they then turn around to you and say "well if I was you..." or "did you do this...." & "if you want my opinion..." I sometimes want to turn around and say I just don't care how they would have handled, it will not make a situation different and it will likely make me feel more angry or make me feel dumb because I did not do it in the way they suggest it be done.

Does this bother anyone else? Have you ever interrupted and said "you know what? I really don't want to hear it, I do not wish to be rude but please stop? Do you just take it on the chin and just think "they are only trying to help"?
 

CaptainObvious

Son of Liberty
V.I.P.
My dad has a habit of doing this but I just take it. I go to him for advice a lot anyway, so when there are times I'm just venting and don't need nor want advice he gives it anyway. I can't bring myself to tell him that because, well for one he's my dad but for the most part I can understand why he does it because I go to him a lot anyway. If anyone else does it I do the same thing, I just listen to it and choose to ignore it or accept it.
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
I have this aunt, she doesn't have any kids but she has all kinds of stupid advice on how to raise a kid. I know she means well so I never say anything but I often think if you had kids they would be so screwed up.
 

Bubbles

I ♥ Haters
My reaction to someone giving me unsolicitated advice looks kinda like this...



I don't like people who need to play psychologist to everyone. They probably have good intentions and just want to help, but if I didn't ask for it, keep it to yourself. That being said, I won't tell them to get lost or be rude to them, but their advice'll go in one ear and out through the other... and I'll judge them silently.

The ones that REALLY piss me off are the ones who give me love advice. It takes every fiber of my being to hold back saying "go fuck yourself with a cactus."
 

Smelnick

Creeping On You
V.I.P.
I'm really bad for offering unsolicited advice. I'm not ashamed though, its just how I respond to people. It makes me feel at least a little bit useful lol. When people give it to me, I just take it with a grain of salt. Alternate viewpoints are always a good thing, but in the end, its still my choice what advice to heed or not.
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
I know one woman at work who is really bad for doing that. She will always interrupt, even if I am talking to someone else about something. She always thinks she's right and is one of those people who has been through everything you have, only ten times worse.
Even if I say I am doing something my way, she will argue it with me and make out she knows best. It drives me up the wall.
 

Unity

Living in Ikoria
Staff member
As someone who is in a "listener" role a lot I really try to avoid giving advice unless it's a simple topic or unless it's asked of me. My Dad is big on giving me advice - sometimes wanted, sometimes not - but it doesn't bother me because I know it's because he cares.

I think that unless people are close to you they need to remember that sometimes they're just there to listen and help you talk out your own thoughts.
 

Merc

Problematic Shitlord
V.I.P.
If you don't want it, I don't believe it's rude to say so. However, some people are just naturally helpful and don't do it to be annoying but simply because if you're sharing it, they assume you may want some sort of help with it.
 

Crouton

Ninja
V.I.P.
I'm not sure if this is quite the same thing, but whenever I go out to a cafe or restaurant with my Mum she has a habit of looking through the menu and pointing out all the vegetarian things to me. I know she means well but it gets kind of annoying. I've been vegetarian for a long time and now and can find the things myself. I've often usually already seen them before she points them out anyway.
 

AnitaKnapp

It's not me, it's you.
V.I.P.
Ugh. I hate it. Most recently I was at work, talking to my boss. He asked if I had been drinking something before, because I used to bring a protein shake in to work and haven't been lately. I told him I wasn't drinking anything special (he was referring to diet shakes like that advocare that is so popular at the moment).

So I told him that I had burned up my 3rd blender of the year. Another vendor was there and started butting in, telling me to get some kind of shake that tastes really good. I looked at him and was like....I'm find with my protein shakes that I have, I'm not interested in fads, and my problem is the blender, not the protein shake...but thanks.

I was probably really rude, but it was irritating.
 
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