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Unhappy with myself.

Scissorhands

Registered Member
I spend so much time thinking about things I would like to be able to do. Whether it be learn and practice Yoga and Tai Chi, write a book or screenplay, compose a song on one of the instruments that I can play, learn a new language or learn a new craft. My problem is that I can't seem to do any of these things.

First off, I can play guitar, bass, drums, keys and the didgeridoo, as well. Unfortunately, I've never written a full song in the five years that I've been playing music. Not a single full song. I can write a riff or progression on guitar, but that is it.

I have so many interests but I can't seem to get into any of them. I download and buy books on how to do things, but I can't seem to get very far into the book before I go on to doing something else, or decide that it is much too daunting for me and I'll never be able to do it.

I was thinking about it all a moment ago, and I want to be able to say that I've accomplished something. I've literally accomplished nothing and have nothing to show for my life. I've never done anything great or that is honorary, I've nothing to talk about when it comes to myself. Furthermore; I run into people who have the same interests as I do, but the difference is that they know how to do these things and they can actually have a conversation about them. I can't.

Someone who works on a team of programmers that make video games can tell others about the games that he's helped make, etc. It'd be very interesting to hear. A writer can tell of his published works. Successes, I guess. I've nothing.

So yes, tis another negative post from Scissors. I'm just pissed off that I spend every day wanting to do something, trying to learn things, and then waking up the next day no more knowledgeable than the last. Sure, Fridays I get paid for working in a pipe mill all week long, but I still have no successes and nothing that I can do that I enjoy doing. -Hell, I really can't do anything.

I think it's my very short attention span. I'm not sure, though. I only wish that I could take one of my interests and actually learn about it, learn to do it, and be able to have something to show from it.

=/ Any of you suffer from this condition? Any advice other than "Just quit trying to do it and just do it" or "Don't give up!"?
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
You do sound a lot like me, sometimes I think all I am good at is running my mouth on here or listening to other peoples problems. Maybe we just haven't found that one thing that interests us to the point we can keep after it until we have perfected it. Then again maybe some of us go through life as the jack of all trades but the master of none. I hope I'm not depressing you further.
 

wooly

I am the woolrus
I want to be able to say that I've accomplished something.
This is the key line for me. It seems to me that perhaps part of your depression over this comes from the fact that you feel you have certain failings in comparison to others, rather than judging yourself independently of what other people are doing, or what you perceive other people are thinking.

If i was in your situation, i would focus less on setting goals just for the sake of setting goals, and focus on just enjoying the experience. Enjoy the means rather than focusing purely on the ends. To quote David McCullough Jr. (a teacher who recently made the news with an inspirational high school commencement speech):

"Climb the mountain not to plant your flag, but to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air and behold the view. Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you."

Also, try not to feel insecure, or inferior, because of other people's bravado and tales of what they've accomplished. There are two types of people in these world, people who puff themselves up and exaggerate their successes, and people who continuously underrate themselves and focus on their failings. I would say you definitely fall into the second category, but the truth is: everybody has these insecurities. That's why the first group of people puff themselves up in the first place!

You sound like you've already got plenty of strings to your bow, so there's nothing to feel insecure about. Don't be afraid of failure, try to focus on your successes, and live life for the experience - not worrying about where the experiences will take you :)
 

Crouton

Ninja
V.I.P.
Ah, so this is where your desire to write a fantasy series sprung from. I'm similar, but it doesn't get me down as much. I always say to myself "You're still young, you still have time to do things" and I'm fine with that then move on.

My advice for you is that you need to stop trying so many different things and focus on one for a long time. You will never get anywhere with any of your hobbies if you keep changing to other ones every couple of weeks.
 

shelgarr

Registered Member
It is romantic to be destined for great things. The reality is, very little of us are. When you're in your state of mind, I think mediocre is just not good enough. In the end, it really is. Because it brings relaxation and peace. Having grandious thoughts about trying something and then quickly losing interest sounds more like a good mood then a bad mood. Or feeling euphoric and then kind of down. Maybe just plain moody. The trick is to determine how to work well with being moody. Another thought is that your suspicion that it is lack of attention span might really be a sign of how it ranks as a priority. Motivation comes with those things that touch a place inside of us that is truly genuine about what it means.....that it's a priority.
 
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the_wanderer

Registered Member
I hear you dude. I'm kind of between hobbies myself so am not sure what to do at the moment. But:

One that's worked for me is simple exercise (if you don't already do so). Stationary bike, elliptical machine, anything that's easy to figure out for 1/2 hour every other day is a great place to start. Then you'll have one hobby under your belt and after a couple of weeks a little more energy to show for it.

Another good one to start with is reading classic books (again, if you don't usually do so anyway). Authors like Charles Dickens, Alexandre Dumas, even Shakespeare are good for things that a lot of people know, so you'll always have conversation fodder.
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
I strongly agree with wool-y here. If you compare yourself to others all the time then you aren't doing this for the right reasons. Don't start something just because a friend is doing it. Start something because you want to do it for yourself.
You have to put a lot of time in to the hobbies you mentioned so you have to be willing to do that. If you get bored quickly then it isn't the right hobby for you.
It sounds to me like you already have your talent - music. You own a lot of instruments for a reason.
 

Nathalie

Registered Member
I think that you're so focused on doing different things that you don't really know what you want from life. I believe that everyone has got potential in accomplishing something. You might have a lot of interests, but there is surely something that interests you most, something that you've wished for throughout your life. You're probably scared to admit what you want to do in life, because you think that you're not good enough for it.

People that accomplished something, have been where you are now. A person does not accomplish something just because it interests him/her, It has to be more than that. What we decide to do in life reflects our life experiences.

I know that it's hard to get back up, but by feeling sorry for yourself will not get you anywhere. If you want to become something, you cannot let yourself think the way you are thinking.

You have to step it up unless you want to live the rest of your life thinking of what you could have been. Don't ever give up on your dreams, or let them drown in your doubts. Sometimes it's just a challenge that you have to be willing to accept.
 

dobzy

Registered Member
I'm quite like this myself. I'm a very indecisive person, and I think that's because 1) I think too much and 2) Everything is interesting!

Seriously, it is a major problem! I want to be able to do it all, but realistically, I can't. So I'm OK at a bunch of things, but not really "great" at anything (except for being an awesome wife, haha)!

I also get a bit depressed when I feel like I haven't accomplished anything- but I find if you do SOMETHING instead of just thinking about it, you'll feel better about yourself & get that sense of accomplishment. I'm sure when you write a riff you feel great, don't you? Decide what one thing you'd like to do the most, and start doing it- now! Don't wait for tomorrow, or else nothing will change. Try to finish one song in one week, or make a goal to write 1 chapter. If you don't have a set goal, how can you possibly reach it?

Here are two quotes (about writing, but really can be used for anything) that I think you'll find helpful:

"I only write when I'm inspired, and I make sure I'm inspired every morning at 9 a.m." - Peter DeVries

&

"First get it written, then get it right." (I'm not sure who this was).


Hopefully those quotes are as motivating to you as they are for me. I do think it's possible your desire for wanting to be great at something (to have a major accomplishment) could be overwhelming you into not staying motivated on any one project. If that is the case, remember, you don't get great overnight. I think the best accomplishments don't come easy, anyway. Good luck- I hope you figure it all out!
 

shadowchild

Registered Member
I spend so much time thinking about things I would like to be able to do. Whether it be learn and practice Yoga and Tai Chi, write a book or screenplay, compose a song on one of the instruments that I can play, learn a new language or learn a new craft. My problem is that I can't seem to do any of these things.

First off, I can play guitar, bass, drums, keys and the didgeridoo, as well. Unfortunately, I've never written a full song in the five years that I've been playing music. Not a single full song. I can write a riff or progression on guitar, but that is it.

I have so many interests but I can't seem to get into any of them. I download and buy books on how to do things, but I can't seem to get very far into the book before I go on to doing something else, or decide that it is much too daunting for me and I'll never be able to do it.

I was thinking about it all a moment ago, and I want to be able to say that I've accomplished something. I've literally accomplished nothing and have nothing to show for my life. I've never done anything great or that is honorary, I've nothing to talk about when it comes to myself. Furthermore; I run into people who have the same interests as I do, but the difference is that they know how to do these things and they can actually have a conversation about them. I can't.

Someone who works on a team of programmers that make video games can tell others about the games that he's helped make, etc. It'd be very interesting to hear. A writer can tell of his published works. Successes, I guess. I've nothing.

So yes, tis another negative post from Scissors. I'm just pissed off that I spend every day wanting to do something, trying to learn things, and then waking up the next day no more knowledgeable than the last. Sure, Fridays I get paid for working in a pipe mill all week long, but I still have no successes and nothing that I can do that I enjoy doing. -Hell, I really can't do anything.

I think it's my very short attention span. I'm not sure, though. I only wish that I could take one of my interests and actually learn about it, learn to do it, and be able to have something to show from it.

=/ Any of you suffer from this condition? Any advice other than "Just quit trying to do it and just do it" or "Don't give up!"?
You sound a lot like me. I wonder if the short attention span is untreated ADD. I was diagnosed in second grade but my mother was against treatment.

You do sound a lot like me, sometimes I think all I am good at is running my mouth on here or listening to other peoples problems. Maybe we just haven't found that one thing that interests us to the point we can keep after it until we have perfected it. Then again maybe some of us go through life as the jack of all trades but the master of none. I hope I'm not depressing you further.
I can totally relate to listening to other peoples problems.. I'm like everyone's shoulder to cry on. I feel the same about being a mediocre at a lot of things but not amazing at any one thing.

This is the key line for me. It seems to me that perhaps part of your depression over this comes from the fact that you feel you have certain failings in comparison to others, rather than judging yourself independently of what other people are doing, or what you perceive other people are thinking.

If i was in your situation, i would focus less on setting goals just for the sake of setting goals, and focus on just enjoying the experience. Enjoy the means rather than focusing purely on the ends. To quote David McCullough Jr. (a teacher who recently made the news with an inspirational high school commencement speech):

"Climb the mountain not to plant your flag, but to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air and behold the view. Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you."

Also, try not to feel insecure, or inferior, because of other people's bravado and tales of what they've accomplished. There are two types of people in these world, people who puff themselves up and exaggerate their successes, and people who continuously underrate themselves and focus on their failings. I would say you definitely fall into the second category, but the truth is: everybody has these insecurities. That's why the first group of people puff themselves up in the first place!

You sound like you've already got plenty of strings to your bow, so there's nothing to feel insecure about. Don't be afraid of failure, try to focus on your successes, and live life for the experience - not worrying about where the experiences will take you :)
You give some good advice and that was an awesome quote, but when I try to not worry about those things I'll go a couple days successfully but then when I come back to worrying I feel like the in the period I didn't worry I wasted a bunch of time that I should have used more productively.. it's a vicious cycle.

Ah, so this is where your desire to write a fantasy series sprung from. I'm similar, but it doesn't get me down as much. I always say to myself "You're still young, you still have time to do things" and I'm fine with that then move on.

My advice for you is that you need to stop trying so many different things and focus on one for a long time. You will never get anywhere with any of your hobbies if you keep changing to other ones every couple of weeks.
I used to say the same thing but now I feel like I'm running out of time.. Also I have trouble staying on one track. I always feel like I should be doing something else and end up trying to do a bunch of things at once which results in me making virtually no progress on a lot of things instead of completing even just one thing.

It is romantic to be destined for great things. The reality is, very little of us are. When you're in your state of mind, I think mediocre is just not good enough. In the end, it really is. Because it brings relaxation and peace. Having grandious thoughts about trying something and then quickly losing interest sounds more like a good mood then a bad mood. Or feeling euphoric and then kind of down. Maybe just plain moody. The trick is to determine how to work well with being moody. Another thought is that your suspicion that it is lack of attention span might really be a sign of how it ranks as a priority. Motivation comes with those things that touch a place inside of us that is truly genuine about what it means.....that it's a priority.
I think it's more of an attention thing than a motivation problem. Whenever I take am under the influence of something I find it's much easier to concentrate on things on top of being diagnosed with ADD at a young age so I believe it's a brain chemistry issue.
 
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