Trying to break up the right way...

NINnerd

Survived a M&G with Trent
#1
Ok, so without giving you unnecessary details (the "why"), I want to break up with my boyfriend. We've only been together for about two months. We work together, but in different departments.

We've both been busy and he's been sick, so we've talked only at work and online lately. We've had conversations online about certain problems we're having, and we end it with needing to talk in person. But every time I suggest we hang out, he says he can't. I think he's avoided it so that I don't break up with him.

I asked him to go to dinner two nights ago - he said he has to save money. Fair enough. I asked him to go with me to buy some gloves tonight - he needs to go home to "put some stuff up..." or something. He never brings it up and hasn't asked me to hang out at all in a while.

I'm starting to run out of options. I feel like I'm stuck in this relationship because I can't ever "schedule" a time to break up in person.

Should I just do it over IM and get it over with?
 
#2
If it were me, I'd wait it out and do it face to face as originally planned. Kudos for that, btw. He cannot physically avoid you forever and he'll realise that his excuses are getting more and more ridiculous. However, obviously you need to draw a line somewhere, because it's just silly in itself. How long has it been since you actually decided you want to break up with him?
 

Merc

Certified Shitlord
V.I.P.
#3
I think you should try one last time and open it with, "We need to talk," since that's basically universal for either "We're done" or "I'm pregnant". If he still refuses, then I'd say go the digital route. Do dinner, that way it's in a crowded place so he won't be tempted to flip out (if you're worried about that sort of thing) and if he says he's saving money, offer to pay for it. If he still backs out, then you know there's something wrong on his end. Perhaps he is thinking the same thing? Who knows.
 

NINnerd

Survived a M&G with Trent
#4
It's been about a week and a half since I really figured it out. We just aren't on the same wavelength about certain things. He's not an awful person or anything.

The other frustrating thing is that he acts like NOTHING's wrong at work.
------
Perhaps he is thinking the same thing? Who knows.
Wanting to break up? I've told him flat out (online) that I'm not optimistic about us making it, and he wants to work it out. He then always says, "We need to talk about this in person."

I think I'm going to text him now and say, "Let me know when a good day to talk will be for you. Cause we need to talk."
 
Last edited:

Bliss

Sally Twit
#5
It's always best to do these things face to face. I know it might seem easier to do it over the Internet or by text but I think that's pretty cowardly and disrespectful to the other person (I'm not calling you those things). Obviously you're still going to see him because you work together so you need to be as civilised as possible.

It might be an awkward situation but when you break up with someone by text it's just you getting your say and not him getting his. He might have a question or two and he might have some things to say before you end it. It's just courteous.
 

NINnerd

Survived a M&G with Trent
#6
Well, the "we need to talk" suggestion worked. We are going to hang out this Sunday. I know it'll suck, but I just want to get it all over with already.

Thanks for the suggestions and help, guys. I'll let you know how it goes. :/
 

Wade8813

Registered Member
#7
Glad you got that resolved.

In case he backs out (or it comes up again for your or anyone else) - I'd say just to act as if it's over and move on with your life. When you finally get to see him, tell him. If you never see him, then it never really comes up (he'll probably realize that the relationship is over after a few months of no face-to-face contact... :lol:).
 

NINnerd

Survived a M&G with Trent
#8
Well, I had a migraine yesterday, so I had to cancel. And today we are both exhausted, so I suggested we hang out tomorrow.

So that's what's happening as of now. I think everything is solidified for me, though, cause when he kissed me today (after a long drought - he was sick), I just wasn't into it. Spark is gone. :/

Suuucks.
 

icegoat63

Son of Liberty
V.I.P.
#9
I'd pounce on him if I were you. I mean if you feel that miserable in the situation.... you can make it happen by just going to his house and giving him the news. From the sounds of it, he knows its coming and he's making sure to dodge every opportunity that you get.

If your mind is made up and your happy making it end.... then yeah I honestly believe just going to his place and ending it there is the best situation.