Tricky situation


Registered Member
Okay, once upon a time my best mate was in love with this girl who is incredibly hot by the way. That was about two years ago and I got to know her really well till the point where she was one of my "best friends" but I really liked her more than I should've done. I kept my feelings to myself since she was with my best mate. They had a really bad break up and we kinda lost touch aswell.

Last week she was down visiting her parents and she phoned me to see if we could catch up. We really seemed to click and she told me that she had had feelings for me when she was with my mate which really messed with my head. One thing led to another and we kinda slept together. She wants to see me again but she lives a fair bit away and so is only down this way every few weeks. I dunno if it would ever develop into anything serious but there's a strong chance it might. My mate is now engaged to another girl and they have a little girl together.

Should I pursue this? I know I've been a bit of a plonker getting involved with her and I feel really bad about it, but if there's something there don't I owe it to myself to see where it goes? If so, do I tell him up front and risk him freaking out or do I wait and see if things develop first before dropping the bombshell? :sigh:

Any opinions welcome.


Certified Shitlord
How far away does she live? Is it workable? How old are you? Is it something you want to pursue?

Think it through and instead of sleeping together, stop. Get to reconnecting again before the relationship burns out from the physical side of it.


Staff member
If this guy is already engaged I doubt he will be mad at you... I mean he's obviously moved on right? Are you worried he won't approve of the relationship?


Sally Twit
If your friend is engaged and has a child then I'm pretty sure he wouldn't care.
Maybe have a chat with him about it just so he knows and also give it a shot with this girl if you really like her as much as you say.


Registered Member
I'm 20, which I know is still kinda young especially if she doesn't live close by. The distance is defo workable for now and if anything serious developed from it then I would have no problem relocating. She's that much of an amazing girl. It's not as if this is just a meet her again and fall head over heels kinda thing. It had been slowly burning back when she was with my mate and their was a sorta moment when they first split up and we almost kissed but I backed off because of him then. I'd always wondered though if she just needed somone at that moment or whether she was feeling waht I was. I guess I just feel kinda guilty (which I know I should.) The way I'm looking at it now though is that he has his life and he's happy, so I owe it to myself to give it a go. No?

My mate is kinda volatile by the way and has a few anger management problems so it might be an "issue." I'm about the only guy that can deal with his temperament which is how we ended up being mates in the first place when we were younger.


The Hierophant
I don't see a problem with your friend. He has his own family now. If he's going to get mad that you're going out with his ex, you need to express to him that he has his own fucking family to worry about.

And I'd give it a shot with the hottie. How far is the distance, anyway?


Registered Member
About an hour in the car which is really not that far but with work commitments and stuff even that could be a stretch. She works evening shifts which really complicates it.


The Hierophant
Do you have a job?

I don't know where you live or what the conditions of the road are there, but I used to live about an hour from Pittsburgh, where I worked. An hour drive isn't too bad once you get about ten mins into it. Kills on gas, but not too bad.

And more power to you.


Registered Member
I'm currently awaiting a start date for my new job which is almost almost exactly between where I and this girl live so I could totally work around it.

The main thing I'm concerned about is betraying my mate though but you guys have kinda put my mind at rest. I've not done anything terrible, just slightly disloyal, but I'm kinda thinking I'm just gonna see if it goes anywhere and if it does then I'll tell him straight up.
UPDATE: She's coming home especially to see me next weekend and blatantly said that she "wants to see where this goes."

Oh well, we'll see how it goes then...
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