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Things I would like to see Slam/Klam rant about


still nobody's bitch
Kidz Bop
Yoplait commercials - especially that bitch who yells at her husband for looking in the refrigerator
cake balls (they're a total gyp, completely less than the sum of their parts)
Toddlers and Tiaras


I ♥ Haters
KidzBop – Beelzebub’s contribution to the music scene

Ah, the Kidz Bop kids. They make a living by taking shitty songs and making them even shittier and promoting underage failure everywhere. Yes children, sing along to Akon and Luda about fucking bitches and hos and popping a cap in some motherfucker’s ass. It’s the right thing to do. For those you that don’t know who these shit-mongers are, you live a better life than me. Congrats! For those of you that would like to see the demise of the music industry, observe:

YouTube - ‪KIDZ BOP 8 - As Seen On TV‬‏
Because “you” demand it? Who exactly demanded it? I know I didn’t. I’ll tell you who demanded it – Herbert the Pervert. Somewhere, there’s a pedophile jerking off to this as we speak. :disbelief:

YouTube - ‪Kidz Bop Kids - Sweet Dreams‬‏
A hot pink boa and a black slutty tutu... that is so Madonna circa 1985, I don’t know what to do with you. You’re like what, 10 – 11 years old? Why are you trying to act all hot and whoorish. You wanna know what I was doing when I was 10? Well, I don't really remember what I was doing when I was 10 because I drank those years away, but I didn't have access to a pink unicorn purse, otherwise my childhood would've been MUCH happier. I'm assuming I spent my time crapping myself in the playground, combing my mustache and pissing in swimming pools. It was a simpler time... it was a better time.

YouTube - ‪Party in the USA by Kidz Bop Kids‬‏
You know... I’m pretty sure even Britney would be embarassed to have her name mentioned by these twats. That’s rock bottom, when Britney Spears goes “Did the KidzBop kids just say my name? Eww.” That’s a whole new level of sadness. Worst of all, these little shits have had about 20 album released – 8 of which are certified US Gold. 20. That is enough to prove 20 times over that the world is a horrible, horrible place and that there is no God.

YouTube - ‪Kidz Bop Kids - Move Along‬‏
What the fuck does any of this have to do with “Moving Along?” To add insult to injury, he’s not even lip-synching properly. I feel like I shouldn’t make fun of him tho. He looks like a sexually confused squirrel. I think he might be one of those “special” kids.

Sweet Geezus! The US Government should just use these albums as torture devices instead of waterboarding. 10 minutes of this shit and the terrorist will be begging you to kill them. I listened to all 3 of the songs I posted and I have never wanted to punch myself in the vag harder. I know, they’re horrible, terrible monsters. In 10 years, half of these kids will blonde, hooked on meth and sleeping with their managers. I don't know how to say this gently but, the KidzBop kids are a genital wart on the dick of pop-culture.

Alright children, Auntie Slam has one golden nugget of wisdom for you – you better get an education or marry well.

You're welcome. It's because I care.


Registered Member
Bubz, why aren't you writing a rant blog? You could earn some cash from the advertisement traffic, I bet.