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The worst time period of your life

Ralli

Registered Member
WOW ..... Just WOW ..... Reading all your stories have made me realise that we aren't alone in this world as much as we may think we are when it comes to certain things. While you, yourself may be going through a rough time, someone over the other side of the world maybe going through something similar to you..

However , having read all your stories, mine seem's ..... well ........ not so bad in comparison .... :confused: ..... and I almost don't want to mention it .... but well here it goes ....

I wouldn't say my whole life has been bad , but I have been going through a period in my life, in about the last 10 years , that has been up and down. One minute it's happy and awesome, then BAM something will bring it down again and I will go into that depressed state.

At one stage I thought I had depression, went and saw a doctor about it, but apparently I don't .... *shrugs*

So where do I start ........ Well 11 years ago I met this guy (who at the time) was a wonderful person .. we had only been together for about 3 months when I found out I was pregnant .. (oh shit) .. Everything was great, He could have ran, but no he stuck behind me and supported me. We were engaged to be married and all was happy in life ...

It was once my son turned 1 that things turned to shit. We went into bankruptcy because little did I know he spent all our money when I was on maternity leave and he didn't even tell me. SO we had to consolidate all our loans and file for bankruptcy. This is when he started to become controlling of me .. very very controlling .. Now even though I was working full time and had been since my son was 3 months old , he started to tell me what I could and couldn't buy and essentially I had to ask permission to go and buy simple things. My parents (bless their sole) would often buy nappies for my son or clothes, because he wouldn't give me the money to do it.

EVerytime I built up the courage to leave him, he would threaten me and my son's life and that made me scared , so well I stayed.

NOw throughout my life I have battled with my weight, it can fluctuate like you wont believe, but it took a long time after my son was born for me to loose that weight. He used to abuse the crap out of me , mentally abuse me calling me fat and ugly "fat ugly bitch" .. etc ...

My friends would say to me that you have to leave you have to get away from him, you're not the same person you were in high school, he has changed you etcetc .. but I couldn't leave. He had this pull over me that I was too scared to just walk away. I eventually lost all contact with my friends ... which I hated as they were my only lifeline, and they had all been there alot longer than what I had known him for.

I always saw and believed that there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and as he hated his job, I thought that this was the reason why he was like how he was. So we decided to move back to his home town , here in Brisbane. Now I grew up in Darwin my family , my friends, my whole life was there. Brisbane? Well I knew no one apart from his family .. essentially I was alone, but as I thought there was that light, I packed up and moved with him.

Well things just got worse, and the controlling was unbelievable. I had to drive to and from work , could not detour, he noted down the klms on the car from when I left to when I got home. He knew exactly the klms from home to our sons daycare to my work and back again, and if at any time those klms fluctuated he would get angry. Now to his defence (i guess you could say) he never once layed a hand on me OR my son, he never hit us, so there was no phsyical abuse , however the mental abuse and the yelling and throwing of items was enough for me.

Two incidents stick in my mind and this was the turning point that I knew I had to leave. There was a massive big storm coming in from the west and there was due to be hail as well. I remember leaving work and picking up our son. His daycare was literally 5 mins from work, and I knew the hail was coming so I decided to head back to work and put the car undercover until it passed over. but I remember him ringing me and yelling abuse at me on the phone to get it undercover. If i ever (and this happened more than once) hung up on him, on the phone, he would just continue to ring back until I picked up.. The guys at work knew exactly what was going on and if it wasn't for one particular person I wouldn't be here today.

So anyways I got the car under cover and well it was all good, except the fact that I forgot to put the window up and the whole drivers seat was drenched. I was so frazzled by his call that I just simply forgot.. simple mistake really , but man did I cop it at home ...

The next morning things weren't any better , and well he couldn't get his shoelace undone. so what does he do, he throw's it and it just misses me. That was it , that was the last straw. My friend at work told me that I could bunk in his spare room ... so I did .. I left him , and that was that.
He would often get angry at me ,when he couldn't take a lock nut off the wheel on the car, or take the oil filter off, apparently it was my fault all the time.

Anyways the next few years was hell , there were court cases and lawyers and well everything ........... it just sucked.... moving here was the worse decision ever.

I honestly believe if it wasn't for one of my friends, my friend who offered his spare room, then I woudn't be here today. Yes we hooked up and we ended up dating for about 2 and a half years, and yes although it was the best relationship I have ever had, I still had the ex hounding over me. BUT even though we aren't together, J (my friend who saved me) is still one of my best friends .....

Now things in THAT dept. are going smoothly, for what seem's and eternity, the ex (my sons dad) and I are getting along famously and it's actually quite awesome to be able to discuss our son's progress without yelling and lawyers involved ..

It's other things in my life currently that are fucking up, and well I don't want to bore you with it all, but I am struggling with work and love .. *urgh* .. but slowly getting through it..

Only just last week I did something that I have never done before, even though I went through all that shit with the boys dad ... There was one day where I had a massive breakdown ... MASSIVE .. Drank myself silly and took ALOT of painkillers , best night sleeps I have had in ages , but umm yeh. apparently I rang my best friend said my goodbyes, hung up on her, she tried calling I didnt pick up , and now won't talk to me .. so I don't know.

I am slowly getting things sorted , but I guess it takes time ....
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
2001 - 2004

I did get with my boyfriend in 2001 so there was one thing in my life I loved. However, after I left school I did absolutely nothing. I was looking for work but I didn't know what I wanted to do. Well, I did, but I didn't want it bad enough at the time.
I told myself I was going to take a year off after finishing school which drove my parents insane. They obviously wanted me to do something with my life but I felt as though I deserved some sort of break as a reward for finishing school. So dumb.
My parents would leave newspaper cuttings on the dining table for job advertisements and they'd ask me each day if I'd applied for any jobs. Looking back I am really annoyed with myself for being so childish. My parents raised me way better than that, but for some reason I wanted to be a jerk for a bit.

After a year I signed on at the Job Centre because I finally listened to my mum and realised just how much she and my dad had tried to help me.
Anyone who lives in the UK will tell you how fucking terrible those places are. They are depressing and a place nobody enjoys going to.

I tried for a very long time to get a job but I wasn't getting anywhere. I lost all of my confidence and ended up joining a course which helps people out of work deal with those types of problems. It was a very difficult time for me but I owe a lot to them because they helped me find a job which I am still at 7 years later!
I do hate my job as many of you know, but at least I have given it many years of my life.
So yeah... Looking back... Ugh.
 

Taliesin

Registered Member
Oddly enough, I'm really appreciating this thread so far. It's kinda humbling and - dare I say it - encouraging to read your stories. It's a privilege to get to know y'all a little better. I agree with Cru. Virtual hugs all 'round!
 
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