Movies The rules of surviving a horror film

[sunrise]

So the rules of the horror genre were pretty well defined in the Scream series telling people what should and shouldn't be done but I always felt the rules were a little incomplete so I feel it is time to come up with the ultimate set of rules.

Rule No.1 - Don't go into a basement, what exactly are you hoping to find?

Rule No.2 - If you are invited to a cabin in the middle of the woods no-one has ever been too from what you have heard there might be a good reason for that.

Rule No.3 - When carrying a torch take spare batteries cos I can guarantee you the ones you have will run out.

Rule No.4 - Driving away is not always a good idea as the killer is likely to have the killer in the back seat, alternatively don't stay still as its likely the killer is looking at you through the window.

 

[Bliss]

Always shoot the killer in the head to make sure they are dead
Never step over a killer when you think they are dead
Never go back to check if the killer is dead

 

[generalblue]

Never have sex.
Never split up with your group.
Never confront the monster, ghost, vampire or whatever it is on your own will.

 

[Kazmarov]

If the ominous music starts playing, arm yourself accordingly.

 

[BigBob]

Make sure you have one black person with you, they always die first.

To add onto one of Bliss's.. make sure the killer's dead. Get an axe, cut their head off.. sever their limbs.. if any of those are not followed, they will find you and kill you.

 

[Merricles]

-Don't ask 'who's there' into the darkness.
-Don't split up.
-Provided you have a firearm, ensure you know how to check the ammo and turn the safety off.
-If it is a 90s type horror, always assume everyone who is NOT you IS the killer.

 

[Impact]

When driving randomly through American countryside, never take a 'short cut'. If you find yourself lost, or you perhaps were too retarded to realise the main highway is probably the quickest way there, ignore any creepy looking houses/cars/people and carry on driving. Make sure you have spare water/tyre/petrol if your car breaks down, and never walk through the trees to the random scary looking house to ask for help/directions.

 

[Merricles]

Upon realizing you are being stalked by someone(something) turn your cell to silent. No low ring, no vibrate, silent.

 

[Bliss]

Never pick up a hitch hiker
Play dead if the killer attacks you and you survive

 

[Merc]

Find two chicks, one with huge tits and the one with smaller tits but a wholesome-but-possibly-a-sexual-freak nature and know them well.

Double D will die first and Closet Freak will soak your knob if you keep her alive.