"The Lone Swordsman" PG/PG-13- Withdrawn From Contest

Discussion in 'Art & Creative' started by dias2525, Mar 8, 2006.

  1. dias2525

    dias2525 Guest

    Hey this is the first story I ever wrote on this forum, cool! Ok if you haven’t guessed I like Star Ocean, which is a video game and an anime. It’s just a side story I wrote about how Dias became to be a lone swordsman. I am writing from his point of view, hopefully to shed light on his silent personality. Hope it’s long enough..LOL

    Warning: Contains Violence, Angst(depressing scenes), and POV. Oh and I wrote it ^_^

    Disclaimer: I don’t own Star Ocean or any of the mentioned characters, Enix owns it. It should me mine though.. all mine.. ha ha ha. Ahem!

    Chapter 1-Blood Red Tears
    There I was, it was a normal day I was hanging out with Rena and it was the summer. A week before my 23rd birthday to be exact. I had made Rena another tiara made of white wild flowers. She was happy. I remember that day no matter how hard I tried to forget it. I remember.. My mom had called me away and asked me to join her and my little sister and father on a picnic to the Shingo Forest. My mom had always liked the forest; she said it was as if she could her the past calling to her there. I spent most of my time learning how to fight from my father there or hunting with him. Cecile, my 14 year-old sister, always liked to play hide-and-seek with me on the village. Shingo forest ran next to Arlia, the village where I grew up. My dad was an originally a blacksmith in Saliva, a mining town not too far from there. I gathered my things, said goodbye to Rena, and went to the entrance on the path where stood my father.

    “Hurry up Dias, I thought you could run faster than a slug!†He yelled out teasing me. “What did mom make this time, chicken skewers?†I hoped. “No, she made a shortcake and some kind of soup.†I saw Cecile come out of our house by the stream running towards us. Our mom walking behind her, carried her basket and her purse. My sister ran up to me stopping briefly and giving a glare as to challenge me into a race. I ran after her to our usual in the forest, letting her get ahead of me. She collapsed on the ground smiling and gasping for breath. Five minutes later our parents showed up and Cecile and me began to lay out the blanket from the basket. We began to hand out bowls and somewhere in the middle of eating Cecile and I began a “soup†fight. My father scolded us, but we didn’t really let it get to us. We could see the sun setting in between the trees. We packed up our stuff. “Wait!†my mom suddenly shouted. We all froze. “Did you hear a dog or something scream just then?†she asked. “Nothing but a few birds†my dad replied. Cecile and I nodded in agree. “oh, well maybe the soup has made me crazy.†She said with a laugh. We continued to walk to Arlia.

    I really wished we stayed in that forest. As we were walking I heard footsteps running behind me. Before I could look back, I as grabbed by the shoulder and thrusted down to the ground. The man was holding a large dagger over me and made a slice at my stomach. I was frozen with fear and pain. I saw the two men go after my mother next and my father tired to fight them off, but was stabbed in the stomach and kicked to the ground. My sister and mother tired to get away, but the two grabbed their hair and slit their throats. They found my mother’s purse and took my sister’s necklace and ran off into the woods. I crawled over to my sister crying and let out a yell before passing out…
     

  2. Sorayoushi

    Sorayoushi Guest

    Re: "The Lone Swordsman" PG/PG-13

    Wonderful cast of characters and love the details. Title is captivating, all words are spelled correctly and correct grammer. You have everything a good writer has.
     
  3. Pugz

    Pugz Ms. Malone V.I.P. Lifetime

    Re: "The Lone Swordsman" PG/PG-13

    *Bumping for contest*
     

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