"The Guy's Rules"

Discussion in 'The Bathroom Wall' started by Godfearingsecular, Aug 13, 2007.

  1. Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If
    it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing
    of the tides. Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to
    think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
    every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving
    it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends
    are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See
    a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
    argument. In fact, all comments become null and void
    after 7 days.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
    don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don 't ask

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and
    one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
    other one.

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how
    you want it done. Not both. If you already know best
    how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
    say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and
    neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
    settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
    Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will
    act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is
    just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
    expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you
    wear is fine...Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
    prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun
    formation, or monster trucks.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

    1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to
    sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really
    don't mind that? It's like camping.

  2. MasterChad

    MasterChad Registered Member

    You brought a tear to my eye
  3. Corona

    Corona Registered Member

    Don't fruit the beer.

    Again, ironic, I know.
  4. redsoxocd

    redsoxocd living on the border


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