The Funniest Mad Libs EVER...!

Discussion in 'The Bathroom Wall' started by Icyblackflame, Sep 15, 2006.

  1. Icyblackflame

    Icyblackflame Registered Member

    Here are some of mine that made me almost #$^& my pants:

    A Detective for Halloween

    This Halloween, I tried something different. I went as a detective! Detectives are poopy because they solve mysteries. My dad thought it was a good idea for me to take our Gorilla Scooter along, because every good detective has a(n) Gorilla, he said.

    Things went along smoothly until Scooter saw our neighbor's Cavemonkey[/b| and chased it up my boobies. I almost dropped my candy, but luckily, Scooter doesn't maim very retartedly.

    We then went to Jumbo Bucket's house to meet him and his little sister. I hate Trick or Treating with little sisters. They are no fun! But Jumbo Bucket's dad said we had to take her along.

    Well, it was a good thing I was a detective, because Jumbo Bucket's little sister ran away from us and we were really scared that she was lost. Luckily, Scooter sniffed her out and brought her back to us. She had only gone across the street to see her friends. I'm such a(n) tomato-on-crack-colored detective!


    A Discovery in the Park

    Two friends, Icyblackflame and Faithrose, spent an afternoon in the park together. The day was crocheted and both friends were wearing tube socks. The friends had just finished learning when Icyblackflame found a small toasterman costume.

    "Have you ever seen one of these before?" Icyblackflame asked Faithrose.

    "Not like this one," said Faithrose.

    The friends put the toasterman costume on a nearby table, and they sat down and studied it.

    "Where do you think it came from?" asked Faithrose.

    "I think it's from Turkey," said Icyblackflame.

    "If it is from Turkey, this toasterman costume is a long way from home," said Faithrose. "I wonder if it's uglier than your face."

    "It might be uglier than your face. What should we do with it?" Icyblackflame asked Faithrose.

    "Should we keep it?" asked Faithrose.

    "It probably belongs to someone. I bet the person dropped it while croteching," said Icyblackflame.

    "It might belong to someone, but it could just be lost," said Faithrose. "It's so purple. Maybe we should keep it."

    "It would be great to have this purple toasterman costume, but what if it had been ours and we'd lost it? You would want it back, wouldn't you?" asked Icyblackflame.

    "I would. You're right. Let's drop it off at the Lost and Found," said Faithrose.

    "That's a great idea. Then we can fart all the way home!" said Icyblackflame.

    "Who knows, maybe we'll find another toasterman costume on the way there!" said Faithrose.


    Apple Surprise

    May 16th 8027, Purpleville—What was supposed to be a routine apple-picking trip turned into something much more. Icyblackflame and Faithrose went to Michael Jackson's farm to pick apples. This was a funny sort of farm! To get to the orchard, they rode on a(n) turbin driven by Cermit the Frog! Icyblackflame and Faithrose went about picking their apples, and they filled two big bags with the most green apples they had ever seen.

    Suddenly, Cameron Diaz happened to ride by on a(n) Porqupine and offered to turn the apples into a delicious pie, right there in the orchard. Icyblackflame and Faithrose didn't believe that this was possible, but they agreed. Cameron Diaz told them to close their eyes, and before they knew it, the apples were steaming, hot apple pies. Icyblackflame and Faithrose couldn't believe their eyes! They were so amazed, they ran home and called Washington News Post. When Michael Jackson was contacted about this matter, a reporter was informed that this "miracle" was "just a really squirrely practical joke"!


    Dream Dates

    All kids worry about their first school dance. Will I look bloody? Will my friends be there? Will I dance with someone I like? Will I dance with someone I don't like?

    Well, here at "M.C. Skittlez's Dream Dates," we make sure that one of these questions is answered: You WILL dance with someone you like. You tell us which famous person you like, and he or she will be your date to the school dance! It's just that easy!

    We use the Saxophonetron 58435463643864986738659 to replicate that famous person, complete with any personality enhancements you request. Does Elmo do something purple you don't like? Well, in your replicated version, not anymore! He or she is just what you always imagined! Each famous person is guaranteed to be a perfect lady or gentleman and to have you home 6 minutes before curfew. Call us today!


    Field Trip Fun

    Yesterday my class took a field trip to Doughnut Lane. We had a really powdery time. The guide showed us one mud, at least 59 skittles, and a very muddy burp.

    Mr. Bubblez had an accident. He farted over the monkey and banged into Shana. She fell against a big yellowishy girl and put her stop sign through the pipe. We all bubbled!
    The trip was even more marshmellowy than a day at school.


    Summer Reading Report

    Summer vacation is almost over! That means I have to start catching up on my summer reading list. This year Mr. Hernandez gave us a really long list. We have to read 92 books. I know I should have started sooner, but I've been having too much fun swimming and water-beating at Elizabeth-Hamburger Lake.

    So far, my favorite book is "Robert Potter and the Chamber of Birdies." Robert Potter goes to a school called giraffewarts. Instead of learning math and social studies, the students learn things like how to turn pumpkins into sausages. And instead of getting letters through the mail, the students get their mail by Canary post.

    Robert Potter's worst enemy is a(n) Dark wizard named Lord VoldePoptart. Robert gets help from Bunifa Latefah Halefa Sherifah Jackson Granger and Ishkabobo Weasley, who has bright reddish-green hair. The three friends count on Professor Dumbledore and Professor Buttnugget, who teaches History.

    In "Robert Potter and the Chamber of Birdies," Robert has to fight an evil plot by Lord VoldePoptart. But if you want to know what happens, you should read the book. Then you'll want to read the sequel, "Robert Potter and the Prisoner of Tokyo, California!"


    The Haunted Tower

    One afternoon Jim and Marsie were walking down a(n) ugly trail, looking for kindling for their campfire. The trees were fat and green, and there were colorful wildflowers all around. Jim and Marsie began to pick the wildflowers, and after a while, they groomed so far that they had wandered away from the trail.

    It started to get dark. Jim began to get worried, but Marsie seemed excited to have an adventure.

    "Look!" Marsie said. "Do you see that chair? It looks like a house!"

    "We're saved!" cried Jim, who was relieved.

    Once they got closer, Jim felt very uneasy again. It didn't look like the cozy little cottage Jim had been imagining, but rather a big, spooky tower! It was about 2 feet tall, and it was covered with colorless ivy and moss. It was the creepiest thing Jim had ever seen!

    Jim said, "Marsie, let's keep walking! There's no way I'm going into that tower! It looks haunted!"

    "Don't be such a(n) chipmonk! We're going in. I think it looks perfectly un-haunted!" said Marsie.

    Jim was so scared that he could not open his eyes. He felt his boobies chatter as Marsie opened the door. All of a sudden, Jim felt that he was not alone. He opened his eyes, prepared to see the worst. But instead, he saw all his friends and family inside the haunted tower! "Surprise! Happy birthday, Jim!" they all farted.


    The Mummy

    We thought our trip to the museum would be boring, but we were wrong. After we handed our swords to Peewee Herman at the door, we were led into the museum's dungeon. The first things I noticed were the mummy cases against the cockroach. Why were there mummy cases in the dungeon?

    While we waited for our guide, Ms. Emily told us how the pharaohs always placed a large bubble in their mummy cases to protect them from intruders. Faithrose and I got a little poopy hearing this. There were, after all, 1 1/2 mummy cases in the room with us.

    Suddenly we heard a(n) chirping sound coming from inside one of the mummy cases. "Bob's your uncle!!" Faithrose and I screamed at the same time.

    "Nothing to worry about," said Ms. Emily calmly. "I'm sure it's just the wind." Just then one of the mummy cases cheerleaded open. Out found an enormous bubble covered with quish. Just as I was about to run from the room, the bubble threw off the quish and howled, "April Fools!" It was Mrs. Balls!

    We had forgotten that it was April first, but I guess Ms. Emily and Mrs. Balls had not.


    The New Kids in School

    This year is sure to be a(n) gummy year at Munchkin High School. There are several new kids at the school and they are working hard to make new friends. They just moved here from Cartoonnetwork!

    In the first grade, Riza Hawkeye is the newest addition to the group. She is learning about sitting at a(n) crack and about toilet training 101. In fourth grade, Edward Elric is studying skittles.

    Both kids are trying hard to fit in. Since Riza is a cartoon character, she can bend her skin cells unlike any other kid. This makes her really popular playing archery on the playground because she can get out of the way of the other kids very drunkenly. Edward Elric is also trying to fit in. He had many friends in his cartoon, but they do not live here. He's become popular because all the other kids are asking him what it is like to be a cartoon character, and what Betty Boop and Envy are really like. Both cartoon kids are sure to make this a special year!


    The Wandering Woolly Mammoth

    Many, many years ago there lived a woolly mammoth named Alphonse. This woolly mammoth was not like the other mammoths. He didn't want to hunt apples. Even though he had a really dark, skunky-smelling coat of hair, he hated the cold. He dreamed of living in warmer places.

    One day, his dream came true. He thought he took a short winter's nap, but when he awoke, almost all the ice around him was gone, and he was surrounded by grass and bandaids. He had hibernated for 876656983649574389437937698436985659 years!

    Alphonse decided to go explore his new neighborhood. Where his cave used to be, now there was a(n) 2-story building with sickly windows and small doors!

    He tried to get inside, but the doorman wouldn't let him in, saying, "No squirrelducks allowed!"

    He didn't know what squirrelducks were, but he knew he was afraid of them.

    Feeling a bit confused, he wandered around until he saw a sign that said "Zoo." It smelled like his friends, so he decided to sit in. He found a section called pitbulls, and they seemed to be very friendly animals, so he made himself right at home. The zookeepers discovered him, and they were happy to see him. They brought him big buckets of passion fruit, spinach, and gorillas. He finally felt at home!


    The Whole Town Celebrates!

    People in Orlando have some special birthday traditions. No one really knows how the traditions started. Some people say that they began when Orlando Bloom was the mayor, but other people say the traditions started as a way of celebrating the Cabbage harvest. Whichever way they started, the traditions have been around for at least 2 years.

    On the morning of a person's birthday, members of the person's family give gifts of baskets for luck and monkeys for good health. Next, the birthday person has a special breakfast of 62 plump cream of mustard soups. After breakfast, people in the neighborhood gather for a little parade. The birthday person rides through the neighborhood on a float shaped like a(n) donkey. Each child carries a balloon shaped like a(n) Cabbage.

    After the parade, everyone gathers around the skyscraper to have cake, and then there is a(n) video-eating contest. Sometimes that gets kind of messy. After the cake and the contest, there is chasing. People wear red costumes when chasing, so there are always some funny photographs of the party.

    Before the party is over and everyone goes home, the birthday person sings a special song about the Cabbage. Birthdays are blubbery in Orlando!


    What Are Friends For?

    Last night, as I sat in the bathroom eating Watermelons and watching MAD TV, the television rang. When I picked it up, I heard a(n) camping sound. It was my silver friend David. He told me that he couldn't solve the 2 problems that Mr. Aymgay had assigned for homework.

    I'm pretty mellow in math, so it took me only 687 minutes to figure out the answers. "These problems are easy!" I told him. "Use your toilet."

    "It's broken!" he said. "I think my chipmonkey ducked over it."

    "Then you'll just have to use your fingers!" I suggested stinkely.

    "CRACK IS WACK!! You're a big help! The next time I need advice, I'll call Jessica Simpson," he shouted.

    I don't know why David was so mad. Did he want me to give him the answers?


    Why I Love Fall

    Yesterday Faithrose and I went for a gloomy fall walk. It was getting colder, so we had to put on our woolly fiahnet stockings and sweaters.

    Halfway down the block, we saw the Nvestir family out in their yard. The Nvestir children were raking big piles of rowboats and leaping into them. Mrs. Nvestir was planting icecream bulbs so she would have beautiful icecream flowers in the spring.

    "Fall is in the air," Faithrose said. "Soon the days will be getting more active."

    We walked down Mambo Street admiring the blue and green leaves. Overhead, munchkins were flying south for the winter. Two buffalos scampered by, hiding acorns in a tree for the winter.

    "That makes me hungry," said Faithrose. "Maybe we should go pick some nice round red nerds and bake them in a pie."

    "TICKLE ME ELMO!!" I said. "That sounds horrible."





    Got some? Post some of your results from websites or magazines. Please, even if the answers are different, do not repeat someone else's (well, maybe there can be an exception if people actually reply to this, and there are a lot. Who wants to read through like...200 posts? lol)
    Have fun!

    (Note to peoples...FaithRose is really my friend and she's realllyy real. I'm trying to cinvince her to join this site. Help? Anyone?)
    -Icyblackflame
     

  2. I like the Summer report one. XD

    roflwaffles.

    +rep.
     

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