Thank you!

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by Dali, Sep 27, 2008.

  1. Dali

    Dali Registered Member

    Only a matter of weeks ago I was the most miserable I had ever been, I wasn't being abused, beat up, a sex toy. I wasn't being made to perform lurid acts, I was safe, I was secure, yet even though this wasn't happening to me why was I the most miserable I have been in my life, what was missing as surely I should have had everything that I had ever wanted, just to be safe?

    Then something happened, something extraordinary, this is the only word I can use to describe it. Something changed, a man walked into my life, the most incredible man I have ever met, I wasn't expecting it and most definitely not in the way it happened. The internet is a strange place and I never expected to find what I did, things like this don't happen to a girl like me.

    I fell in love, a passionate, intense, crazy, strong love, something that I only ever felt when I was asleep. It's not lust, well there is lust there but it runs so much deeper than that, I can't describe it but those of you who have felt it before, will know what that connection feels like, the connection on every possible level.

    You may think I am stupid, crazy, childlike, however you want to describe it, but I know in my heart that this is the real deal this time, I never thought it was possible to feel this strongly, this intensely for somebody over the internet, we have never even met so it is crazy and I have tried and tried to get my head around this, work my feelings out, I have gone through every possible outcome, every possible reason for why this is happened and the only conclusion I have come up with is that love is uncontrollable, its manic, its powerful and you cannot find a reason for it, it just happens, you just have to let it happen.

    I want people to feel jealous of me for once, jealousy is something I can't abide, in fact I hate it. I don't like it when people say they are jealous of me because of what my appearance is , hell you don't know me, you don't know my life and what it is, only when you can understand you will realize there is absolutly nothing to be jealous of. But yes now I want you to be jealous, not for shallow reasons but because I have found something perfect, something true, something that makes me want to live my life, something that has given me inner power, I feel strong, ready to live my life again, to take a chance, I don't want to be miserable any more, I know there is more to life. When I wake up, I hold onto every moment, isn't this what life is all about? So be jealous of what I have found and if you haven't ever had these feeling that I wish you could experience them.

    This is who I am, I have found me after all this time, I still cannot love myself but I am sure it will come with time, my crazy life is beginning to take shape. I am guessing you will think I am stupid and deluded and I am also guessing you might be thinking that a crazy bpd like me is just infatuated, that I can't possibly be in love. I know the difference between lust, love and infatuation, so whatever you may think (ahhh its so good to say this) I don't actually give a damn, and my, I have never, ever been able to say that in my life. A couple of you have told me that internet relationships cannot work, this one will, we are plannig our future its that serious. When you have felt pain like I have then you turely know and understand what love is.

    If it doesn't work out (which I highly doubt) then I will accept that but for now I am going to enjoy it, we promised forever and this time I beleive it. I am just happy, I want to tell the whole world about it, how much I love this amazing man so I have made a start by telling you.

    I love this forum and all of it's members, you are all so kind so thank you for helping me. Also I am sorry this is rather long, also my spell checked stopped working half way through so that's why there are mistakes.

    Talk to you all soon, I love you guys! :)
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2008
    agphoenix likes this.

  2. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    I'm glad to see you so happy. I love the honeymoon stage! Enjoy it.
     
  3. Dali

    Dali Registered Member

    Thank you so much Ysabel!
     
  4. leomay

    leomay Registered Member

    :)
    lucky girl ....
    very nice...........
    :rolleyes: i even Suspect that if there really have true love in world .am waiting too long time for it:( ....and u tell me there do have ..
    ok ..good news for me ...:p
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2008
  5. R1pperZ

    R1pperZ Registered Member

    Wow Haz, we really have changed allot together. Just a few days ago I was reading some of your first posts in the advice boards, I felt I could relate to some of your troubles and tried to share some advice as I have been around allot of hardship in my life. But the more I got to know you the more I realized you are a great person, I rarely meet people that are as caring as you and are totally true to themselves. I started to care for you and wanted things to work out for you because I felt that you deserve it but there was never anything I could do or say to help you though this hard point of your life. Truth is I'm use to going through rough times in my own life and have struggled myself to find reasons to even continue to try. By that time we just kept finding things we both could relate to and right around then is when I knew we had a connection together,

    I'm one of the most scepticle persons to go anywhere near an internet relationship let alone a long distance one as well. I've learned from the past that nothing good ever comes from them really, only pain and frustration. But with me and you it has nothing to do with looking for a relation, it is just there staring us in the face waiting for us to stop denying it. I think that's why I never stopped my self from falling for you.

    But after realizing how alike we were and then talking to you in realtime there was nothing I could do to keep myself from being absolutely crazy about you. I don't think I've ever met anyone where every little aspect about them drives me crazy.
    Your just to good for me to let pass away from me, sometimes things just make sense all the sudden and you can finnaly see clearly and realize you know what you want out of life finnaly.

    I just want to explain to you and well, I guess to myself how I fell in love with you so fast. It's scarry being so far away from each other, makes me fear not being able to be with you like I need to be. But I have a strong feeling that things will work out and this is the way it is suppose to be. I'm glad that I have caused such great change in you but the crazy thing is that you have done allot for me aswell.
    I lost sight/hope of ever getting to the point where I'm content with my life but I think you have showed me how simple it could end up being. Some things are just meant to happen and this connection between us has really felt like one of those things. I'm really glad that GF has brought us together, I now realize the countless hours I have spent here have not been comepletely pointless.
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2008
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  6. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    Wow three weeks, that was very quick. I thought you had to see the other person to experience love at first sight. :lick:

    I didn't realise it would be someone on GF when you made the other thread and I gave you some advice. Have you spoken on the phone or anything? I have to ask this because I refuse to believe you can fall in love with text on a screen after a few weeks.
    I'm not trying to be nasty but this is my opinion on any Internet relationship after such a short time. As I said, I know a couple that met on the Internet and are now married but it was a long process and they spoke on the phone a lot and it didn't happen straight away.
    There's no way in the world you can even come close to knowing someone after three weeks. As ysabel said - that's the honeymoon stage and you have a long time before you see every side of each other. Only then could you even claim to be in love.
     
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  7. Dali

    Dali Registered Member

    Well Bliss put it this way, over 12 hours straight each time in 3 nights on the phone and on cam. You know the first time I saw Dan's picture I felt like it was love at first sight. We have hardly slept form talking, I only have another 4 hours to go until I can hear his voice again and see his face, I made Dan go to bed lol, I myself cannot sleep so I will be awake now until tomorrow. We will talk all day and all night. When Dan is at work he signs in on here and we go to chat so he can speak to me at work. I just told Mike about Danny, Mike say's he doesn't care and that tells me all I need to know. By the way I just have to say, Danny has the most amazing voice I have ever heard *blush*.
     
  8. wolfheart

    wolfheart Registered Member

    Hey good luck to you dalgirl i hope you have found the happiness that you have been seeking
     
    Dali likes this.
  9. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    Has your opinion changed in the past couple of days then?
     
  10. Dali

    Dali Registered Member

    Hey

    Bliss I knew, I knew, I knew you would mention that lol! Yes it has changed, I didn't think it would but It's happened.
     

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