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teen brat

shelgarr

Registered Member
My friend and I were having coffee on a patio yesterday. A 13 y/o girl with partially lavender hair and her elderly parents (g'parents?) came to sit down. Not long she was putting her face into her hands protesting with a whiney screechy voice about something. Every time they tried to "talk" about it, her protest got louder. Eventually the women walked away. The man continued to "talk" and the girl got louder about her protests. By that time I'm about to turn to them and ask them to take their bratty teen and go argue elsewhere. The man knew he had lost control so he walked away frustrated and smoked a cigarrette.

The way I see it, this teen has the two old people totally manipulated. She rules so strongly by her outbursts and poor behavior. My guess is that this is their grandchild that they are trying to raise because their loser daughter isn't doing it. So now instead of poorly parently only their own child they are now making tons of mistakes with another one.

It doesn't dawn on people how important it is to have authority over growing children. Kids thrive on predictability, or limitations, on the wisdom of elders. They put up a fight so on the surface it might feel like a parent is doing the wrong thing. Then comes the fear about being disliked or having them rebel or not talk or be deceiptful. Yes, if you do authority wrong that might happen. But there's a difference between authoritative and authoritarian.

An authoritative parent is one that is knowledgable about the best interest of a child. One that want to teach how to deal with disappointment and not submit to whims. One that guides a child through impulses to teach good decision making. One that knows what justifies a firm rule and when to negotiate and let them win. I could keep going. This kind of parent is also very attached and bonded....engaged and devoted to forming a good citizen with strong character that can sustain high standards.

An authoriatarian is one that dictates, demands, forces, doesn't empathize, doesn't take time, and basically caters to their OWN poor character because they can't stand the interference that their children put in front of them.
 

Impact

Well-Known Member
V.I.P.
I remember when I was a kid I used to get so pissed off with my parents because they were so authoritative, and controlling of most things in my life, but now that i'm grown up i'm really glad with the way I was bought up. Sure, at the times, you may be the bad guy, but when your kid grows up to be a well adjusted member of society, they'll thank you. It seems so many parents these days just don't care. In saying that, I don't have kids so I have no idea how hard parenting is.
 
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