• Welcome to the PopMalt Forums! Whether you're new to forums or a veteran, welcome to our humble home on the web! We're a 20-year old forum community with thousands of discussions on entertainment, lifestyle, leisure, and more.

    Our rules are simple. Be nice and don't spam. Registration is free, so what are you waiting for? Join today!.

Taking a Year off

Soul-Seeker

Registered Member
I've been faced with deaths in my family over the second semster of high school and the first semster of university, and I was wondering if I'm making the right choice to take off a year after completing my first year of University.

I guess the only reason I bring this up is because I know talking to my Dad about this will be the most difficult thing for me to do, we don't really see things the same when it comes to education.

Also, have anyone ever been faced with this choice?
 

shelgarr

Registered Member
First of all, sorry for you losses.

Yes, if you are feeling fragile than I think it's a good idea. There's no reason to try and handle too many things at once. College is stressful enough so it will go smoother and be more enjoyable if your studies aren't fragmented by life's unforunate events. Myself, quit college twice due to emotional instability but was able to return and get a good education and on for a good career.
 

KSpiceFantastic

Haters gonna hate.
While I can't change your mind, I would think that you should continue schooling when the second year of university resumes. It seems as if you and your dad don't get along, but when it comes to education, you should be able to make the decision that is best for you. While I haven't been in your shoes, I can understand where you come from. College is hard, and added personal strains can just make it worse.

I am sorry for your losses.
 

BigBob

Registered Member
I've been faced with having to leave college but it wasn't by choice. To be honest, I'd say take some time off but then it's really hard to want to go back. Whenever I left school, I planned on taking a year off and then going to a different school but it got to the point that the ONLY reason I was in college was to play college football and I didn't want to go to school anymore, so I didn't go back.
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
This might be something you'll regret to be honest. I know family deaths are awful and hard to move on from but would your family really want you to put your education on hold?
A year is a long time so you should think this through.
 

Soul-Seeker

Registered Member
Well the thing is also University is a lot of money to pay, as it is I've failed two courses, and that's about $1200 down the drain. I failed them not because I couldn't do the work, it was because I didn't want to do the work.

There was a time when I actually enjoyed going to school, but that was ruined when I began to miss my mother alot more, my Dad doesn't really have alot of faith in me to begin with.
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
All the more reason for you to do what you can to continue then. Go and prove him wrong. Make him eat his words. All parents should be supportive of their children. It sickens me to know that people can bring their kids down like that.

I understand you lost your motivation but I hope you get it back because it'll be worth it in the end. Just stick at it, work hard and your dad will be eating his words.
 

Unity

Living in Ikoria
Staff member
Grief and sadness will happen no matter where you are or what you're doing, and chances are that you'll end up happier if you stick with school, socialize there, and focus on getting your studies over and done with.

I also know from observation that when people take time off (even less than a year), it's a lot tougher for them to come back to their educations.

I'm not trying to assume that I know how you're feeling; your experience is your own. But I do know that I've had really difficult times (health problems) that made school really hard to do, and that I'm glad I stuck with it during those times as I look back. I was faced with that ongoing choice that you mentioned, and I'm happy to have stayed in school.

Also, keep in mind that most universities will have inexpensive or free access to someone that you can talk to if the grief ever feels "too heavy," and tutoring for times that you feel like you need help with getting ahead on work.

That same socialization can also really help with your motivation, as well...you mentioned having a prior enjoyment of school, which is more than many college students can say from the beginning. The good news is that if you did have it, you can rekindle it. Talk to professors, join clubs related to subjects that you like, etc...it could be a really positive thing in getting your grades on track. I know university social groups aren't for everyone, but I've also seen them do good for a lot of people.

These are just some suggestions, you know yourself the best and it's ultimately your choice. Good luck, and we're always around GF when you need people to talk to.
 

shelgarr

Registered Member
Well the thing is also University is a lot of money to pay, as it is I've failed two courses, and that's about $1200 down the drain. I failed them not because I couldn't do the work, it was because I didn't want to do the work.

There was a time when I actually enjoyed going to school, but that was ruined when I began to miss my mother alot more, my Dad doesn't really have alot of faith in me to begin with.
Did he force you to go? So you would "make something of yourself!"? Dads can be like that....they make accomplishing something like a chore. As college gets harder I can see that it would cause you to miss your mom. Moms are nurturing, and since college can wear you down, mothers can be encouraging and comforting. Do you have a means of income? If so you could consider working until you get the desire back. Likely you will....most people get inspired later in life to go on a self improvement kick.
 

Ilus_Unistus

Registered Member
I understand your circumstance, but I do not think deaths in the family is at all a good reason to quit University. While they are gone, you must continue on.

I think you do not know how fortunate you are to have opportunity to go to University. To fail classes simply because you were lazy or did not feel like doing them? I am sorry, but this is unacceptable to me. Some of us struggle each day to find or make ways we can be so fortunate to attend University and here you have been given this and just wish to throw it away? I hate to seem like I am being hard on you, but in all honesty, you are lucky you have a family, you are lucky to be able to go to University without selling your self literally. I think you need to wake up and stop being lazy and pass your classes, it is University, not a party. My guess is, you will take this year off, then never return like so many to do this. I hope I am wrong, if not, I hope you like working the drive through the rest of your life.
 
Top