Taking A Break

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by Shwa, Mar 3, 2009.

  1. Shwa

    Shwa Gay As Fuck V.I.P. Lifetime

    So my man wants to take a break for a bit so we can both have some space adn work things out between us. But I wonder, should there be limitations on people who take breaks, like I don't even konw if I shoudl even lay any on the table. This is his idea and all, so I'm just like, "Whatever", but have y'all ever made limitations like seeing other people or not sleeping together and all that jazz??

    I know one thing, if soemone else is in our bed and I find them, they're both gonna be 10 feet under. The first 6 feet is free, I'll knock them down the next 4 on my own.

    But yeah, anyone been in a situation like this where they set limits and all??

    ~Shwa
     

  2. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    If you don't want to take a break then you should tell him. Maybe if you both sat down and spoke about the problems you have then it'll clear the air and you won't need to have time apart.
    You should definitely try and have a mature discussion and see where that gets you.

    If you're in a relationship and you "take a break" then I don't think you should be sleeping with other people. That's pretty much saying you've ended the relationship if you do that. It's not exactly going to help your current relationship.

    Tell him how you feel, ducky.
     
  3. icegoat63

    icegoat63 Son of Liberty V.I.P. Lifetime

    I'm not for breaks. Never have been Never will be. Its a little harsh to say but if you cant make it work as a couple, what makes a long term relationship any different?

    My Girlfriend and I attempted a break once, long long time ago. It was a mutual agreement that we felt we were growing apart and needed to do other things. THe funny thing was in truth we just ended up seeing eachother more during the day or 2 "break" than we did before. Mostly just the threat of losing a loved one is what I believe the break is supposed to be about, but I think the concept of "a break" has been vastly blown out of proportion.

    If you're going to take a break, it shouldnt ever be away from the relationship, it should be away from eachother. Especially with younger relationships (less than 2-3 years), acquiring that sense of space from your partner isnt the easiest adaption. All people are used to being solo at first, getting that sense of reliability on another isnt something that just happens over night. So thats why I say easily the first 3 years of a relationship are usually plagued with that problem of just learning to not be such a soloist.

    I dont know what your living arrangements are, but I'd say if you have the option to just not see him for a day or three... take it. Doesnt mean you cant call once or twice a day. But just take some space from eachother. The most important thing to remember is that decisions you make on the split second for a relationship during a break are all very emotionally driven. So dont take those decisions as serious as you think you should. Hopefully that makes sense and helps.
     
    Oooh_snap likes this.
  4. Henskie

    Henskie The Super Pimp of GF

    I think breaks are a load of bs. I feel that if you are not sure if you want to be with someone or if you don't want to be with them then break up with them or talk to them and try to work out the issues but "taking a break" is as good as breaking up for me. Everyone I know who has "taken a break" has lost their significant other by them dating someone else. One person even found out that that his quasi-ex girlfriend got engaged while him and her were on a break.... wtf
     
  5. Cait

    Cait Oh, poppycock.

    I've never been for breaks except in the sense that ice was talking about. I don't think there should be any difference in your relationship during this "break" except that you can't see each other for a little while. Sometimes time apart would actually bring you together. Spending every moment with someone can make you forget how special the person is to you. Well, sometimes that is.
     
  6. Oooh_snap

    Oooh_snap Living on the 0th floor V.I.P. Lifetime

    Like everyone else, I don't agree with breaks. If my partner wants a break I just sit down and ask them if they really just need some space or if this is their polite way of saying they do not want to be with me anymore.

    Relationships take work, and I don't believe anyone just back out of them any time a person feels afraid, crowded, or what have you. If I want to be with someone I want to be with them no matter what, but there is a difference in a break just for some alone time and a break from the relationship.. and I don't believe in turning a relationship on and off when I feel like it.

    Like Ice said, it is fine to just need some space for a few days, but to actually take a break away from the relationship is silly to me personally.
     
  7. icegoat63

    icegoat63 Son of Liberty V.I.P. Lifetime

    Thats pretty much what I believe a "Break" should be about. Not the whole "lets put this relationship on hold and bang other people" kinda thing. Those breaks never work out, and then even if they do... then you have the dark cloud looming over one anothers heads over being embarrassed or ashamed of what you did while "on break".

    I know theres nothing better than that moment I see her after we've been away from eachother. Its not easy to just manufacture that feeling on a whim. So I'd say if your relationship needs a pick up, just vacation away from eachother for a little while.
     
  8. Jaszibabes

    Jaszibabes The Instigator V.I.P. Lifetime

    My boyfriend has said he needed a break before. I wasn't allowed to talk to him or see him for a week, because we were spending too much time together or some such thing. It wasn't ever discussed that we would be seeing other people or sleeping with other people, because I think we both agreed that that wasn't the kind of break we wanted. I guess it depends on how long the break is going to be, and you really should talk about limitations, that way you don't get hurt more if something happens that you didn't know about.
     
  9. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    Like you said, your man wanted the break so you can have space and work things between the two of you. I don't think that can be achieved if you use your break going out with other people. Usually it's just a time for introspection and looking at your relationship from a different angle (sometimes it's difficult to assess when you're so deep into it). If either of you feels like it's better to see other people, then just split. You can always go back if your new relationships don't work or you realise you miss/need each other too much to be separated (if the other would still take you...that's the risk you have to accept).
     
  10. Vidic15

    Vidic15 No Custom Title Exists V.I.P. Lifetime

    I never though the whole break thing will happen to me, well it did just now.

    Last night I had a fight with the missus and said stuff I shouldn't have and she calls me up this morning saying that she needs space and a break for couple of days to get over the things I've said the previous night, well I guess anything is better than having her break up with me at this stage..
     

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