Taking A Break

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by SatisPassion, Aug 13, 2008.

  1. SatisPassion

    SatisPassion Registered Member

    A good friend of mine is slightly-- Okay, he's really freaking out.

    He has been with his s/o for almost four years now. They were living together, going to college together, and you couldn't invite one without the other showing up. I think maybe it's because he's so taciturn that I thought his giggly, bouncy girlfriend might just get on his nerves. Apparently, he's the needy one and she's been trying to get real space for awhile now.

    She apparently said that she wanted to take a break, because 'taking care of him, and working towards [her] goals' were taking it's toll on her. After their last argument, she left in a huff and is now sleeping on a friend's couch not far from work. He's sure she's going to leave him, permanently, and wants to fix 'it.'

    Personally, I believe that they're probably going end, and it's going to hit him hard. Still, I'm not cold-hearted enough to tell him that's what I think and so I comforted him; I told him that 'taking a break' might do them some good and that it doesn't necessarily mean it's the end, but it made me wonder...

    So a couple of questions I'd love to get feedback on:

    What do you think of 'taking a break' and how do you define it?

    Have you or has anyone you know ever gotten back with a partner they 'took a break' from?

    Did you or anyone you know find another partner on their 'break'? Hypothetically, if someone 'went out' with someone else while on a 'break,' do you think it's cheating?

    Do you think a 'break' really reveals anything? Or do you think it might be a way to try to break up 'gently' with your partner?

  2. Kazmarov

    Kazmarov For a Free Scotland

    It depends.

    'Taking a break' tends to be an attempt to break up with someone with their consent. The other party just wants to agree to anything that might sustain the relationship, while the person who offered it is free to start dating other people.

    I think taking a break is healthy, helps restore perspective and focus. However, my definition is 'the significant ratcheting down of a relationship'. You may stop actively going out. You don't have to be together all the time. Helps reassure individuality and make sure that you still want to be with this other person. If you take a break and don't feel a need to get back together, you break it off.

    I think most people don't have that intermediate period. Breaks are called far too late in relationships, when too much damage has been done.
  3. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    Taking a break tends to translate to "the relationship is over but we want to pretend it isn't."

  4. Altanzitarron

    Altanzitarron Tamer Of The LOLzilla

    The phrase "Taking A Break" in terms of relationships just means one or both of the people want it over but are too afraid of accepting that it's finally over. This usually happens in relationships that have been going for a while so the thought of living without it is scary. Therefore they try to reassure themselves that it's a "break" when really their just distancing themselves till they get the courage to say "it's over".
    I've never once seen people get back together properlly after a "break" and I would never advise anyone to do it. If you need time away from the person you supposedly "love" then you don't really "love" them at all.
  5. Rectify88

    Rectify88 Registered Member

    Well to start Taking a break is when someone in the party does not want to be with that person in the capacity that they are now in. It's a nice way o saying I can't take you right now so I need to go away.

    I think that people try to always find this mid-section in staying together or breaking up, so that they can beak up with you for a time but be able to change their minds once they got there crap together.

    As far as the people I know I know no couple that has taken a break and got back together. I know a couple who broke up, and got back together, but they really weren't taking a break as it's called because breaking up with some one is the no return form. I have never been in that situation.

    If the person is on a "break" and they meet someone, well that's ok, I think that it would be cheaitng if they decided to not change thiere status, or the couple decided that they are still with eachother they just need to be physically apart. But then if they are intimate with someone when in that case then it would be cheating.

    You know the worrld is full of every possibillity. There may be cats out there that know peolpe who took a break and got back together, but if they want to be away from you physically why not say I need to get away for a wile. Taking a break its sounds like it means " I wanna break up, but if I don't fuind annyone I wanna be able to come crying back to you". People make things so complicated. Either you break up then search and if you find you made a mistake hope that HE or She isn't taken and then take it form there. Or just work it the hell out.
  6. LadyPinky

    LadyPinky scientia potestas est

    ^^ Thats exactly it most of the time. My ex wanted to just take a break and we ended up breaking off contact totaly. Its mainly a nicer way of breaking up with someone, with out haveing to say it to their face.

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