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Stay at home vs. working moms/dads


Wanna play?
How important do you think it is to have one parent home with a growing child?
I was a stay at home mom until my youngest turned 5. I felt it was important for me to be there for them when they were that young. Once they all started school, I went back to work.
It was difficult economically, but I feel it was well worth it.

Whether it be a mom or dad, I personally feel one parent should find a way to be a stay at homer for the childs first 5 years at least.



Problematic Shitlord
Sounds pretty agreeable to me. My mother worked nights as a waitress until she had my little sister (her 4th and final child) and she simply needed to be home.


Registered Member
Having no kids my opinion might not count but when I was growing up neither one of my parents was home. They were either working/school or working/working. For me I don't think it would have mattered one way or the other had one of them been there continuously but then again it wasn't really an option when my father was shipped off to the Vietnam war for years.


still nobody's bitch
My daughter goes to day care three days a week, the other two she is at my mom's. I have no choice, I have to work. I think she's getting a lot out of day care that she wouldn't get if I were a stay-at-home mom. They have a lot of resources that I wouldn't be able to provide for her if she were at home all the time


The Original Kiwi
I feel it is very important to have a stay at home parent if it's possible. My mom has never worked and she's always been able to be there for us whenever we need her.

Now, as a stay at home mom, it seems like the whole world is working against one income families somedays, but the sacrifices we make are well worth it.


rainbow 11!
I don't think there is a "best" way. It's what you can and can't do.


still nobody's bitch
I think both have something to offer.

Like I said, my daughter is getting things out of day care that I wouldn't be able to provide if I stayed home with her. Yes it would be nice if we didn't have to get up in the morning and rush around, but I do the best I can given my circumstances.


not a plastic bag
My wife stays at home and it has been very difficult at times. We will probably never qualify for a credit card or car loan because of some of the struggles. But, after living without credit for 4 years or so, I would never go back anyway, so that's a positive.

It seems that kids handle daycare differently. Some kids are fine and flourish in daycare. Others end up with Attention Deficient problems, others are sick all of the time. I guess if you can find a really good daycare that really cares it is an acceptable option, but those are really hard to come by when the workers are over-worked and under-paid.

I rarely get involved in discussions about daycare with friends because one of two situations always comes up:
#1 - The family really has no other option and I don't want to come across pious. Because I'm not and like I said daycare can work well.
#2 - The family does daycare so they can afford vacations, new cars, ect. and then tells me "I wish we were lucky enough to stay at home" at which I explode, kill them and feed them to the moose (j/k)


/ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5
I'm pleased to have the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom. It was a choice my husband and I agreed with (at least until the youngest is past maternelle school). I do dread the time I have to integrate the workforce after being absent for a long time (but that's another story).

We're lucky that we can survive with just my husband's salary (add some benefits too that our government offers big families here). Otherwise I'd have to miss this chance of being sahm. My mom had years when she was sahm and working mom. Her staying at home has helped me a lot. There was more attention given; more involvement in my activities. I'd like to be that mom for my kids.

However, I do know that not all moms are sahm material (doesn't make them less mommy). Some moms blossom more as working moms. For what good it is to stay at home with the kids if you're miserable with what you're doing.