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Smacking your kids

HalfEatenSurprise

Registered Member
I don't have much of a stance just yet as it's never really crossed me. I'm not a father (yet?).

Although, I know smacking is not nice, and that some kind of discipline for a child is probably important, my actual stance on smacking as a punishment is more or less absent.

What do you reckon to it?
Are you a parent? Do you/have you smack/ed your kid(s)?

Open discussion.
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
No, I don't agree with causing physical pain to your child. I think taking something away from them is punishment enough.
I'm not a parent so I am sure people will tell me to STFU but I just think it's cruel to smack children.
My parents never smacked me and I turned out fine!
 

sunrise

aka ginger warlock
V.I.P.
I am very much against the smacking of children. I don't think causing physical harm to anyone is ever acceptable. That being said I don't think it is as simple as that. I think some children (not all but some) know that if someone hits them they can be locked up and as a result they may be nasty little f**kers knowing nothing can be done about it. Frankly some of kids I see look like they could use a bit of discipline, it's a tough question and one that anyone who believe it is right and anyone who believes it is wrong will ever agree.
 

Jeanie

still nobody's bitch
V.I.P.
I don't think that physical punishment is necessary or appropriate. It teaches children the wrong thing - that violence is a good way to deal with problems. It can also be detrimental to your relationship with your children.

When my daughter is misbehaving, I threaten the loss of a privilege, or I just walk away from her because many times all she's trying to do is elicit a response from me (which is to say she's pushing my buttons).
 

Unity

Living in Ikoria
Staff member
I think that physical punishment is just plain wrong, and as Jeanie pointed out, ineffective as a tool in the development of children on top of that. Kids can be just as sad about having done something wrong with sitting in a corner or losing privileges, and won't feel threatened, scared, or confused that way.
 

Raos

Registered Member
Are you talking smacking or spanking. There is a world of difference. I am a parent of two and I am against both smacking and spanking (or any other form of physical punishment for that matter), but smacking is illegal (child abuse) while spanking is not. I have no doubt that spanking can be effective, but ate hat cost? It teaches that physical violence is an acceptable way to act and I do not agree with that at all.
 

Iris

rainbow 11!
While I do not have kids, I am against hitting. My parents only hit me once or twice and I was fine, but still, those are memories I still carry. My mom and her first husband would use violence against my brother and sister... Both of them were rampant drug addicts. My brother is thirty fucking years old and still lives at home. My sister, wasn't beaten as harshly as my brother but she was addicted to ecstasy, meth, and marijuana at one point. when she became pregnant was when she really cleaned up. now everything is fine with her...

But I noticed a pattern. The worse we were beaten, the worse we were. My brother is very violent and explosive, he has threatened my sister's life on more than one occasion, as well as his girlfriends'. He has like four restraining orders against him, and we have had to call the cops on more than one occasion.

I remember having to hide in guest bathroom (it had no windows) because he was going around our house and violently hitting windows and trying to break in, my sister had locked him out of the house because he had been threatening her or something. I don't remember, I was only eight.

But yes. I am completely against hitting. I used to be for it, but as I have grown older and really thought back on it, it is not the right way to do things.
 

Dabs

Registered Member
I didn't spank my children or smack my children. As most of you know, I was badly abused by my SF, so I couldn't bring myself to touch my children in any matter I thought could leave a mark or a bruise. Hitting them would only hurt for a bit and then the pain and marks would go away, but what it does to a person on the inside, it's something that never goes away. Hitting only shows children it's Ok to hit. If there was a time for punishment when my children were small, I basically did nothing. I am sure I grounded them or something, but I can't recall exactly what I did to. With my granddaughter now, when she does something that I think is in the wrong, I take away her cell phone or her DS for a few days, that's her punishment. I tell her she's grounded, but geesh, it never sticks. In a couple of hours I have already changed my mind and told her Ok, you are ungrounded now. She's not a brat, but I don't believe in hitting, slapping, spanking, shoving, any of those to to a child, except hugging.
 

shelgarr

Registered Member
Yep, a parent. Yep, have smacked. Yep, they have deserved it. And yep, they are really good people because of it. When kids are around age 4-7, they are in a phase that is difficult to reason with. And they'll test and test. If swift consequences are used they accept and respect. Believe me it's totally worth it!! As they become teens any parent will see that those early experiences result in a person that is a good citizen and a healthy member of the household.
 

Jeanie

still nobody's bitch
V.I.P.
Yep, a parent. Yep, have smacked. Yep, they have deserved it. And yep, they are really good people because of it. When kids are around age 4-7, they are in a phase that is difficult to reason with. And they'll test and test. If swift consequences are used they accept and respect. Believe me it's totally worth it!! As they become teens any parent will see that those early experiences result in a person that is a good citizen and a healthy member of the household.
Respect? Or fear? There are other ways to show your kids that you're in charge that won't result in them being afraid of pain administered by the person/people they are supposed to trust the most.
 
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