Should I feel This Way About Leaving?

Shwa

Gay As Fuck
V.I.P.
#1
For those who don't know, I left the Marine Corps on grounds of my Homosexuality. I didn't disgrace my uniform or anything, just came out and said, "Hey, I'm willing to fight. Right here, whats up?" Or something along those lines, unfortunately I knew what the outcome out be if I came out and it was as followed, I was discharged.

I knew this was a career choice, I knew it would have a slight backlash on my pride for making such a choice. But after a year its taking a toll on my thoughts and common sense, more or less I'm getting depressed more and more often. Today I tried to call a recruiter to see if there was any possible way or re-entering, though none have said anything I wanted to hear. I even was desperate enough to look towards other branches....I even contacted the Navy!

*Note: Once you join a branch, thats your branch. All others are nothing, bootcamp mentallity for ya*

I don't want the life of a civillian anymore, its boring. I've lost my friends when I was discharged, moved to a new state and have no friends and I work constantly with teh government and as a servers in Chili's. I'm taking online classes for Criminal Justince just to get 60 hours/credits to apply for the Police Department. I just want some action back in my life, putting it all on the line once again. After a year of being out I don't know why it still lingers that maybe.....what I did was a mistake, a coward's choice to do what I did.

Penny for your thoughts...

~Shwa
 

Jeanie

still nobody's bitch
V.I.P.
#2
I think it was very brave of you to stand up for who you are.

I think joining the police department is a good idea.

eta: I think it's normal to have some regrets about leaving. I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision to make. I still regret not finishing grad school, even though I know I wouldn't want to be working as a psychologist right now and there were very valid reasons for leaving.

((hug))
 
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Swiftstrike

Registered Member
#3
Shwa what you did, standing up for who you are, took more guts than being in the military and staying silent.

You may have been happier perhaps. Maybe you felt you were accomplishing more. Maybe you felt you were doing something with your life. It could be a lot of things that are contributing to your depression. However the more difficult choices tend to take us down, an eventually, better path.

I think it's perfectly normal to feel this way and it will get better.
 

Corona

Registered Member
#4
Good job standing up for yourself. Seriously. That the marines discharged you is unfortunate, and I think it's unfair, but ultimately you know what you did was right, and that's all that matters.




P.S.: If you're ever too bored... French Foreign Legion.
 

Doc

Trust me, I'm The Doctor.
V.I.P.
#5
You did what you had to do for yourself, man, no one can take that away from you.

I'm hella proud that you stood up for yourself.
 
#6
Good 4 u standing up for yourself Shwa.
I was discharged from the Navy after 2 years because I was in special forces and had a serious car accident. They couldn't let me stay in the SF so they gave me a choice - change fields or honorable discharge. I chose the discharge. I now regret it because I would be retired (now 38). I worked in factories for several years and often thought 'is this what life is about?' I eventually got fed up with assembly line work and quit. I enrolled in college and earned a degree in computer science. Now after 12 years I am Microsoft certified and have my own office in the place I work. You can do better than serving at Chilis - honest. I know you are different than me in that you look for action. I looked for the career that has the most potential for future pay/outlook. But anyone can be what they want to be (except president - have to be voted in that one). Go for your dreams man! Gay or not, you can be a good cop if you put all your effort into it.
Best of luck!
 
#7
It takes far more courage to be who you are and accept the abuse that you know will come from others. Lying about yourself with your silence will eventually eat you up from the inside. The discrimination against gay people is idiotic and needs to be opposed. I once read the suggestion that the thousands of gay people in the military should all come out on the same day, this would destroy the stupid rule about not letting them serve because there are so many of them that it would cripple the system.

It's sad that you had to give up your friends and the way of life that you desired, I can understand that because I had to do the same thing. I am a transsexual and when I transitioned I had to close my business and move to another city because people would simply not accept someone changing their gender presentation. It's really hard at first, but it gets better. The police need more gay people so that's not only something that you might enjoy doing but it's also a valuable thing for you to do. Good luck.

Remember: It's better for others to hate you than it is to hate yourself.