Short/Long Engagement

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by ysabel, Oct 17, 2008.

  1. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    What is an ideal engagement time frame for you? Would you rather have a short engagement or a long one? If you've been married, was your engagement long or short? Would you have preferred otherwise?

    What would constitute as too short or too long? Or do you think if you feel you found the right person, there's no such thing as too short/long engagement?
     

  2. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    I'd love to be engaged for about a year. I'd want to plan my wedding so that it was perfect and matched both of our needs. I'd also need plenty of time to find my perfect wedding dress without feeling pressured to find it fast.
     
  3. kiwi

    kiwi The Original Kiwi

    I'm going to have to go with a short engagement. Part of the reason behind that comes from upbringing and religion (no living together/sex before marriage). I dated Knyte for 7 months before we got married, 4 of those months we were engaged (and that was a few weeks longer then planned cause his cousin stole our first choice for wedding day).
     
  4. AngelsPeak

    AngelsPeak Wanna play?

    My only experience is getting married out of necessity, which meant a very short engagement.
    If I had to choose though, I'd still go with a short one.
     
  5. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    Which day was that, lol. Same here by the way, except it's 8 months for us (6 of those engaged). But we were separated for a couple of months after the wedding. I had to go to the US for a singing tour.

    My aunt and her ex were together for 11 years and a big part of those years was talking about marriage. I think it went too long. At some point, you don't even know why you wanted to marry because you're satisfied already with what you have and then become afraid that a wedding would change things. Anyway, they're no longer together. She married her next boyfriend after being with him for less than a year.
     
  6. icegoat63

    icegoat63 Son of Liberty V.I.P. Lifetime

    I'm a fan of Long Engagement. (Obviously considering I'm now entering year 5 of mine :hah:). I take Marriage seriously, even though I'm not very religious. To me that commitment is huge and I want to make sure that I'm making the absolute best choice without a doubt.

    Now does that mean I distrust or am unsure of my other half? Nope not at all. The time is actually meant for me to adjust to learn and to better myself so that we as a couple are stronger together. Had we just met, got married within a month or so... we'd be split up in only a matter of time.

    This is why I'm not so into the whole not living together until we're married thing. I dont think you can fully know a person until you've really lived with them for a decent period of time.

    for me... Long engagement all the way. And besides, as serious as I take Marriage... what does it really change between us anyway? Nothing all that major that I can think of. I'll be just as dedicated to her then as I am now, maybe the only difference is then we'll be working on kids :hah: So I'm not in a hurry to spend all the money on a wedding when I'm dying to purchase some land and a house!
     
  7. Mirage

    Mirage Administrator Staff Member V.I.P.

    I'd say the ideal engagement is 6 months to a year. Any longer than a year and I think you are just wasting time (no offense ice lol). I've known people who were engaged for upwards of 2 years. My question to people who are on a long engagement is "What are you waiting for?"
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2008
  8. icegoat63

    icegoat63 Son of Liberty V.I.P. Lifetime

    'scuse me I misinterpreted the engagement part.... lol I'm not in year 5 of my engagement....

    The engagement should only be long enough to accumulate the money and plan the wedding...anything more than that and you're spinning the wheels.

    my above post was generally in regards to the time spent before being married including the engagement process.
     
  9. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    See, it's like what I said in my example. Those I know who are in the long engagement often don't get married anymore because they no longer see its value. They've been together for such a long time, maybe even living together, and marriage has reached the same meaning as a wedding (it's just a formality).
     
  10. LadyPinky

    LadyPinky scientia potestas est

    Six months to a year at least. Don't wanna have to rush to get all the wedding plans set up.
     

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