Serial Monogamists

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by Barbara, Feb 9, 2010.

  1. Barbara

    Barbara Ess Tii Eph Yu V.I.P. Lifetime

    We all have that type of friend. The one person that breaks up and claims they need time to heal and within a matter of days is in yet another relationship. While the relationships themselves last for what I would consider a decent amount of time, anywhere from 6 months upwards, they are not always the most healthy for relationships as you tend to go into it knowing nothing intimate about the person. What are your thoughts on these serial monogamists? Did you use to be one? Any insight you would like to share on the matter?

    Personally I think it's a highly unhealthy practice to be in because it doesn't allow a person to discover themselves as a young adult. While I can understand the insane desire to feel the love and companionship of another human being you also need to learn to enjoy the company of yourself. This is something I came to not to terribly long ago myself. While I wasn't a serial monogamist I felt the need to be involved with someone to be happy. Now I'm happy just chilling with myself.
     

  2. EllyDicious

    EllyDicious made of AMBIGUITY V.I.P. Lifetime

    serial monogamists - as you call it - are the types that don't know what to look for in someone and don't know if they want to be with someone or by themselves.

    it's one of the cases where insecurity reaches a high peak.

    i've never been attracted to those type of guys as they don't care to contribute in the relationship or any relationship. jumping from one to another in a few days/weeks is definitely a turn off.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2010
  3. Oooh_snap

    Oooh_snap Living on the 0th floor V.I.P. Lifetime

    I've almost always been in a relationship all of my life. All of them lasting well over 6 months minus a few casual encounters that were maybe a date here or there in between relationships. I never have gone less than 6 months from the break up to a new relationship. 1. I always enjoy the freedom and the single life,so I like to live it up and 2. It is only fair to be completely over your last relationship before getting into another one. I wouldn't consider myself a serial monogamist though, nor do I know anyone that seems how you are describing though.

    It sounds like what you are describing is a person that feels the need to always be in a relationship no matter what. Which to me is sad, everyone should be able to feel comfortable and whole without another person in their life.. and if they don't, they probably aren't relationship material/ready for a relationship in my opinion. You do need to take the time to get to know each other before jumping into anything, because who knows who it is you will end up with if you dont.
     
    Barbara likes this.
  4. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    Stage 5 Clingers.

    *shudders*

    I know a person or two like that and all I can think of is that they hate to be alone. They seem to feel like they're nothing without somebody. They tend to be very low on self-image and confidence as well.
     
  5. Barbara

    Barbara Ess Tii Eph Yu V.I.P. Lifetime

    Exactly. It's kind of like watching the train wreck as it happens every time this girl jumps into yet another relationship. In a sick sadistic way i take little bets in my head over how long the relationship will last.
     
  6. irishbabe

    irishbabe New Member

    what i have noticed w/my friends who jump from one relationship to the next have a fear of getting hurt due to their parents relationship. A few of them have divorced parents and they dont want to be anything like them.

    Every time a break up happens theyll turn to me for advice and i ALWAYS tell them to focus on themselves and work on their goals. dont always worry about guys/girls. Just because your friends are in a relationship it doesnt mean you have to be in one as well
     
  7. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    I thought serial monogamy was just about people who has a history of getting into several but long term and exclusive relationships. That alone isn't that bad. But if they jump from one to another and not have a relationship with themselves, then I guess they're going to end with just settling with anyone willing to be with them.
     
  8. Mirage

    Mirage Administrator Staff Member V.I.P.

    It's unhealthy. These types of people tend to be insecure about themselves and don't feel comfortable unless they are in a relationship. They are very likely to be taken advantage of. They are also likely to be taken advantage of again and again by different people since they tend to be attracted to people who also feel like they need to be in a relationship at all times.

    It's better to focus on becoming the right person than finding the right person.
     
  9. Rebeccaaa

    Rebeccaaa yellow 4!

    Yep, I have this type of friend alright. When she broke up with her long-term boyfriend (even then, she was only about 16 at the time), she had another one a week later, despite being madly in love with the first one. We all thought this second guy was a rebound and would never last, but she's actually still with him to this day. She says she just can't imagine not being in a relationship.
     
  10. storm_ina_C_cup

    storm_ina_C_cup Registered Member

    I enjoyed being alone. In fact I liked it so much that I didn't settle down until I was 30 years of age. Granted, I had a few long-term relationships, fell in love once but I never felt the need to be in a serious relationship. I just went with the flow.

    What's the rush, I say? You've got your whole life ahead of you for the serious stuff. ;)
     

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