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Santa Claus is really a homeless alcoholic

NeoCaesar

Registered Member
Santa Claus merely inherited his role by accident. Knowing that people were leaving sherry and mince pies out for Santa on xmas eve a vagabond decided to capitalise on this and do his rounds minesweeping the goodies. The sherry fueled his habit and the pies gave him a belly. Unfortunately as he ate Rudolph's carrot also he became addicted to root vegetables. Do not leave carrots out for Santa!
 

NeoCaesar

Registered Member
You shouldn't encourage root veg addiction -it is a terrible thing. Shuffling up to you 'root me'. Horrible.
 

Dabs

Registered Member
Santa Claus merely inherited his role by accident. Knowing that people were leaving sherry and mince pies out for Santa on xmas eve a vagabond decided to capitalise on this and do his rounds minesweeping the goodies. The sherry fueled his habit and the pies gave him a belly. Unfortunately as he ate Rudolph's carrot also he became addicted to root vegetables. Do not leave carrots out for Santa!

Remind me of this again in December.
 

Tucker

Lion Rampant
Santa Claus merely inherited his role by accident. Knowing that people were leaving sherry and mince pies out for Santa on xmas eve a vagabond decided to capitalise on this and do his rounds minesweeping the goodies.
How many Santas Claus are there, again?

The sherry fueled his habit and the pies gave him a belly. Unfortunately as he ate Rudolph's carrot also he became addicted to root vegetables.
Wait, wait. You said that people would leave sherry and mince pies in some conveniently unguarded area for Santa (I). Where the heck are we pulling carrots from, all of a sudden?

And if Santa (II) inherited the role, would the homestead up north not have gone with it? His vagabondish homelessness would have ended when he inexplicably became Santa due to an addiction to root vegetables, which in itself is related without explanation of how the one thing could lead to the other, how carrots can be addicting, why anyone would leave such a thing for a deer, and why Rudolph didn't turn in to Santa himself, when he presumably had been ingesting the things for years. Dude, I don't mean to be nitpicky or anything, but I think you have some of your facts wrong.
 
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