I ♥ Haters
Sometimes it’s hard to figure out what a pedophile wants. Thank god I don’t care….
What a waste of time. I’m going to sleep.You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: m or f
Stranger: tell me more
Stranger: cum on
You: well the earth was created 3.5 billion years ago from swirling gasses that permeated the universe unless, of course, you believe in creationism. in that case, the earth was created in 7 days by god and dinosaur bones were put in the ground by the devil to tempt us
Stranger: no no more about sex
You: ohhhh right…
You: well, there are birds and bees, you see
Stranger: human sex
You: and somehow they get together and make babies…. i think the bees squirt pollen on the birds or something…. i’m not sure…i ain’t no mothafuckin biologist
You: ah ok i see, my apologies
You: um, okay...there are males and females, the males are XY and the females have XX chromosomes.
Stranger: tell me what you do with there parts
You: well, if i were a black market body-part saleswoman (which i'm not) i'd sell them to the highest bidder
You: i've heard kidneys go for $10,000 each…. Not that i’ve ever tried to sell one or anything
Stranger: i see
Stranger: so what do we do with my hardness
You: i don’t follow
You: i'm female…. a pretty 14 year old female
Stranger: i am male
You: that's great!
You: got a pic?
Stranger: do you
Stranger: why not
You: I’m not allowed to have a camera… my mommy says cameras are from the devil
Stranger: i am playing with something hard right now
You: a g.i. joe doll? OMG!! SWEET!
You: or is it a stone?
Stranger: something rock hard
You: like the rock of gibraltar?
You: or titanium?
Stranger: throbbing rock
You: rocks don't throb, unless it's some star trek episode or some shit…. do you wear a blue shirt?
Stranger: i have no shirtss on
Stranger: and no pants
You: ah so you're like captain kirk after he finds some strangely colored alien tail?
Stranger: you like captain kirk
You: well, no. not exactly
You: i’m more of a spock woman. pointy ears make me horny.
Stranger: so you like to be naked
You: sure why not
Stranger: what else do you like
You: but not naked and barefoot in kitchen - that's the woman's place, goddammit!
You: well. i've got a hot body, all sexy like and shit
You: at least, that's what my bitch kay tells me
Stranger: how sexy
You: really sexy
You: i'm well endowed, if you know what i mean *wink wink nudge nudge*
Stranger: no tell me
You: i’m hung
Stranger: how much
You: a lot, like 10 inches
Stranger: thats fucking sick
You: dude, i'm talking about my boobs!
Stranger: 10 inch?
You: yaahh. you obviously don't know much about female anatomy
Stranger: yes i do
Stranger: now start over
You: okay... i'm really well endowed, like, 10 inches
You: i just don't understand you guys - you're all so un-specific in your questions
Stranger: what is 10inches?
You: mah boobehs
You: i have 10 inch boobs
Stranger: bra size
You: no that’s just how far they stock out
You: *stick out lol
Stranger: very nice
You: i can barely see my penis past them
You: lol whoops, that came out wrong
You: what I meant to say was, i can barely see my scrotum past them… my beautiful scrotum
You: my penis is in full view tho and it looks awesome
Stranger: are you a dude or a ladies
You: i'm a ladies dude! oooh-yah!!!
You: or i'm a dude's lady
You: or i’m a dude that looks like a lady. whatever. who cares
You: was it something i said? i'm sorry...i can change my answer if it'll make you feel comfortable enough to unclench your anus
Stranger: are you a girl or not?
You: what did i say?
You: oh god, i'm such a confused little girl...*cries*
Stranger: no you not
Stranger: youare a guy
You: I AM A GIRL!!!
Stranger: then what you talking about your penis for
You: so i made a few mistakes, said some untruths...you've got to believe me when i say i'm truly a 14 year-old girl from albania!
You: it was a joke mr. serious! sheesh!
Stranger: so get back to describeing yourself
You: ok i'm a cute little girl with 10-inch boobs and a ridiculously long penis
You: oh and a scrotum
You: and said scrotum contains my bountiful testicles
You: love me!!
You: LOVE ME!!!
You: GODDAMNIT LOVE ME!! do you have some sort of problem with a cock wielding 14 year old girl or something? i’m just as god made me, sir!
Stranger: had to go piss
You: oh sweet!
You: so you wanna have sex then?
Stranger: how about your pussy what does it look like
You: so yeah… i'm rubbing my meat microphone against your bung hole
You: do you want me to use lube or do you like it rough?
You: *sighs* don’t ignore me…. you can stick your penis in my ass too if that'll make you feel better… come on, live a little!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.