Movies Review: Max Payne (SPOILERS)


Film Elitist
I didn't even bother paying to see this, I watched it online and I'm glad I did. Don't let the buffed up trailers and teasers fool you. I'd have more satisfaction watching a 13-year-old playing the video game on hard boiled.

Aside from mismatch casting, which made me feel like watching Richard Kuklinsky being Mr. Rogers is more believable, there is very little about "Max Payne" that is redeemable or good. Actually I shouldn't say good because that implies that John Moore has a sense of proportion of what "overall quality" means in film... or anything.

Needless to say if you were a fan of the video game and you paid $8.50 to see this, you probably wanted to call the FCC and complain that this movie offended you in questioning your worth as a human being.

The story takes place some time after Payne's family is pillaged and killed by the company Michelle (Payne's wife) worked for by junkies hopped up on a new experimental illegal drug, Valkyr. Max is driven by retribution to find his family's killer and shut out everyone else who wants to help him. All sounding familiar to the game.

However almost every other character in the movie (except for probably B.B.) has about 15 minutes of screen time and almost none of them do anything really significant that hasn't already been implied offscreen. So the only character that really matters is Max Payne himself and the expose villain, B.B. (*gasp*).

B.B. is the man-behind-the-mask villain
Bravura futilely chases down Max Payne suspecting him as the killer of a woman in an alley at near the beginning
Jack Lupino is the fall guy and distributing Valkyr
Mona Sax... really doesn't do anything. She's not even the shallow love interest of the protagonist. How the hell do you get lower than that?
And Alex discovers that one of Paynes' family's killers has the same tattoo of the Bond bitch (Olga Kurylenko) who died in the alley.

That last bit stood out to me. It seems fairly strange that Detective Payne wouldn't already know his family's case in and out and didn't deduce himself that there was some connection between them. So really Alex was given a purpose that didn't needed to be given to him which makes him useless like all the other cardboard cutouts.

Any other giant plot holes or inconsistencies you fellows can mention on other posts. I think I've said enough.

Another game turned movie that might as well have been handed to Uwe Boll. Honestly, his version probably would have more bearable.
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