Respect for a dad that was never a dad??

Discussion in 'Advice Board' started by smile1010, Jul 22, 2007.

  1. smile1010

    smile1010 Guest

    If the title doesn't make sense..
    My dad came yesterday and he tried to make me scared of him
    He said that if I didn't behave he'd beat me, I said that he didn't deserve to even touch me because he hasn't been here by my side to show me any discipline..

    This angred me, the bible says to respect your parents, but does my dad deserve any respect??

    After all that he's done..and all that he hasn't done??

    He left me when I was 4, and he left my brother when he was 9 days old.

    I know alot other members out here have a single parent, tell your story and feel free to give me advice too ;.;

  2. Shwa

    Shwa Gay As Fuck V.I.P. Lifetime

    Well to tell you the truth, I seperated from my dad when my brothers adn I were little. If he would suddenly come up to me (randomly) and say something like that I would agree with you that he doesn't deserve respect or your time. Seriously though, an ass will get beaten, no matter if it is blood related, if he's had no major part in your life since you were little then there should be no reason he can have a hold of any disciplinary actions towards you.

  3. MasterChad

    MasterChad Registered Member

    Well my dad and me have problems to,

    I know what you mean, but try what i do

    Bite your to tongue (i know its hard but its for the best trust me)
    Talk with him (i know this can be hard but turst me it makes life easier)
    ^ or you can just bring up a subject and when he starts talking just nod and act like your listening
    Try not to be around him so much, go to your friends or whatever

    BTW: i used to never respected my dad,
    My dad favored my sister and i was left out in the cold, and then he would come home to bitch at me since i was the only one home.. and i would get smart with him cause he was dead to me

    My dad blamed this one whole seen on me and CHANGED THE STORY....
    Bullsh*t but i bite my lip...

    I hope this helps some what :(
  4. Iris

    Iris rainbow 11!

    Honestly, I would sit down and talk with him. Tell him how you feel and say that you can't show him respect for what he did all of those years ago.

    If that doesn't work, just ignore him and see if he can take the hint that you will not show respect or listen to him.
  5. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    The bible says to respect thy mother and father, yet, that's not fair because they are only your mother and father by birth, they must earn respect as parents.

    If your father thinks he can just walk back into your life and threaten beatings and compliance, he's got another thing coming. Parents like that, I'm sorry to say, were never fit to be parents in the first place. Now I may not have genuine parenting information, but I know a thing or two about child-rearing seeing as I'm the oldest of four and got to watch my parents go through it three times. I appreciate what I learned, too.

    Can you give us some more input? How long has he been gone? Did he just return to your life? How did he? Tell us a bit more about the situation, please.
  6. ThaVeileLadie

    ThaVeileLadie Registered Member

    what does he expect to here when he says hes going to "beat" u if u don't behave?
    "oh gee thanks dad! i'll try my best! your the greatest dad ever!"
    of course hes going to get disrespected for saying something threatening like that to u coming from your mouth!
    and he earned it, but you shouldv'e not fought back(he couldv'e hurt u)
    that was a bad parent mistake rite there!
    he shouldv'e thought what he was going to say before he said it to u if he really cared about u
    but he didn't at that time, makes you wonder if he didn't care about u as a family member rite?
    and that suxs now doesn't it?
    look i don't know your dad, but it sounds like he didn't care about u at that time
    but this is only 1 particular siatuation
    and if it has happened repeatedly or if he has even hurt u
    i suggest u write it down
    keep track of it, because thne u should show it to another helpful authotiy member
    im glad your writing this out hun but im worried about u
    now if this happened only once, im going to guess he does care about u but didn't care about u at all at that time which made him act the way he did
    and if that is the case, don't take it too personal to of thinking that he doesn't care at all about u
    sometimes parents go through so much drama that they have to leave or seperate themselves form the people they love most
    and that hurts way more thne u can imagine
    to have your own problems u can get an emotional grip to fight over them anymore
    having to leave people or ruin relationships from sucks
    and how he treated u sucks, but just try to think of what could be going this his mind...scary rite?
    and there is nothing u can do about it
    be happy u still know how to control yourself emotionally civilized ok?

  7. tipsycatlover

    tipsycatlover Registered Member

    Where does it say respect????

    Honour your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

    There is a commandment to honor both father and mother, and a reason for giving that commandment, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving to you.

    It seems that if you want to live a long life, you won't eat yourself up hating your parents. Respect is not a commandment. Presumably God gives you permission to not show your parents any respect. Perhaps God knows that there are some parents who will never deserve it.
  8. Hinata

    Hinata La Coquette

    Smile.. I can understand the anger you have for your sperm donor dad..and I can understand that he doesn't deserve a lot of love and respect from you. Right now.. You have yo just be calm and pick your battles.

    If you're under 18, don't even worry about stepping up to him in that manner again because no matter how much he was not there for you... as your biological father he may see that he has the rights to punish you. And it may lead to him knocking you out! So next time dont say what you feel that strongly.
    Walk away from it and you know if he continues to persue you for a confrontation...refuse to be around him from now on...

    But yeah its a tough situation...and I wish you continued luck!
  9. tipsycatlover

    tipsycatlover Registered Member

    Don't make this harder than it is. If he hits you go to the police. It is either child abuse or if over 18 battery.

    Technically, if he threatend to hit you, it is at least assault and yes you can file a police report about that too.
  10. Swiftstrike

    Swiftstrike Registered Member

    Your a better judge than anonymous members at a forum however from what I saw in your post though it appears he is not deserving of any respect.

    It has to be earned and him threatening to beat you is not exactly a means to do this.

    If hes treating your like shit. Then you can treat him like shit too. Screw him he sounds like a deadbeat anyways.

    Tipsy is right.

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