Relationship needs a band-aid quick

Discussion in 'Advice Board' started by floakaremedy, Oct 8, 2006.

  1. floakaremedy

    floakaremedy Guest

    I am in a dilemma, I feel like I am having problems with my boyfriend. But he doesn't seem to notice. I don't think, we should be together because we argue to much, and it's very stressful to me. But he thinks that love is all we need. I am looking for a relationship, that provides love and so much more. I am losing sleep, and closing myself away from him. Any advice as to how to approach this problem?
     

  2. Hoosier_Daddy

    Hoosier_Daddy Registered Member

    I moved your post over here. I hope you don't mind. Are the two of you arguing over little petty issues, or more significant topics like money, fidelity, or faith?

    I can help you better if you give me a few more details about the relationship.


    Hoosier.
     
  3. floakaremedy

    floakaremedy Guest

    Everything.....little and big. Thanks for putting it in the right section.
     
  4. Hoosier_Daddy

    Hoosier_Daddy Registered Member

    Let's talk about the small stuff first. It's often been said that we shouldn't sweat the small stuff. While I believe this is true, that doesn't mean we should just let every small disagreement slide. You have to talk about the small stuff, or over time resentment will get built up over petty things that really don't make a big difference in a relationship. I'm taking about things like what to watch on television, what movie to go out to see, what food to eat, etc........... These are all issues that can drown a relationship if they're left in the closet. You both need to communicate your feelings and be willing to readily compromise on unessential issues.


    The more substantial things such as trust, faith, fidelity, passion, etc........, are not as easy to deal with. This is especially true if one of you in the relationship is determined to not compromise. If this is the case, trying to further the relationship is going to be like beating your head against a brick wall. You're just not going to get anywhere. A successful relationship usually brings together two very diverse individuals who are willing to accept each others belief systems, while garnering trust between the two of them. As in the small argument assessment, the larger discussions take a willingess to communicate and compromise, only on a larger scale to make the union grow.


    Everything I've written probably seems vague to you right now. That's because without knowing specifics of what's causing you trouble in the relationship, that's the best I can do. If you'd like to expand on what some of the problems are I would be more than happy to help the two of you work through them, if possible. If you're uncomfortable discussing details on the open forum you can place your questions in the "Ask Hoosier" section where I'm the only one who can see them other than yourself.



    Hoosier.
     
  5. lavoidgaskins

    lavoidgaskins Registered Member

    Okay people let's be realistic here. This is my girlfriend talking and last I checked most of this stuff was already discussed here.

    Lets get down to the truth with these things. I work 12-16 hours a day for 2-3 days out of a 6 day time frame. The other days I work 8 hours. One would think that working 60 plus hours a week would make her happy but apparently is doesn't. I'm only human so if I come home and want to go to sleep then I must be a criminal, because she swears I'm wrong.

    I mean damn she is just crazy and has issues. Just a few minutes ago I go in the kitchen and she ask me if I want a baby. I tell her of course and she takes my hand and hit's her stomach with it. If you ask me she is crazy.

    If you ask me I just think she is mad that she only makes 13,000 a year where as I make any where ranging from 22,000 to 30,000.
     
  6. Hoosier_Daddy

    Hoosier_Daddy Registered Member

    Is this really your girlfriend, Lavoid? If so, she's certainly entitled to seek advice without you interjecting yourself into the thread. You've had your say, now let's hear her side of things.


    Hoosier.
     
  7. lavoidgaskins

    lavoidgaskins Registered Member

    Of course she is my girlfriend or do you need furthur prove?

    I realize in my thread she did not post. THe reason for that was because she did not want to. I told her to any she didn't want to.
     
  8. Hoosier_Daddy

    Hoosier_Daddy Registered Member

    I don't want or need any proof. Now that I know for sure she's your girlfriend I'll say with confidence that you need to stay out of this thread and let her seek her own answers without her worrying about you controlling the discussion.


    Hoosier.
     
  9. SenatorB

    SenatorB J.S.P.S

    It sounds to me like this relationship just isn't going to work. It seems like there have been problems going on for a while now, and both of you are noticing them. When lavoid posted his thread, we advised him that the relationship seemed unhealthy, and it might be best to reassess if it was really right for him. Months later, he apparently still feels the same way, saying you're crazy and have issues, and you've come to us with your own set of complaints about him. Maybe it would be best for both of you if you took some time off from eachother. If you're determined to make this work, you might want to consider seeing a professional relationship counselor.
     
  10. floakaremedy

    floakaremedy Guest

    See, Lavoid doesn't believe in time apart. And yes he does like to control a situation and make himself look better........ I am glad you guys have noticed.
     

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