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Rant Reading your partner's messages

Bliss

Sally Twit
You often hear stories about people catching their partner cheating because they read some text messages on their phone, or looked at their e-mails. Or there was that story someone posted on here about a man receiving dodgy texts from a young girl. Sure, it's great they found out so they could put a stop to it.. But why doesn't anyone pick up on the fact that the person who 'caught' them was doing something they shouldn't have? Why is it OK to read through someone's private messages? Do we really have that much of a problem trusting our partner?
What if you looked at their phone and found nothing? How would you feel then? If you have the desire to do that then you should look at the problem in your relationship. There is obviously no trust. The minute you pick up that phone something is going to change.
And no, this hasn't happened to me. It's just something that really annoys me.
 

Wade8813

Registered Member
Sometimes it's a result of the person not doing what they were supposed to, but sometimes it's just a matter of grabbing their phone to make a quick call, or their email being left up and something catching your eye as you go to close it.
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
Regardless of whether it is something that catches your eye, you should put it down and ask them about it. That is what I would do. It's about respect just as much as trust. I wouldn't continue reading because that wouldn't be right.
 

Wade8813

Registered Member
Sure, but sometimes in the moment you don't stop to think about it. Your curiosity gets you, it seems a little suspicious, and you keep reading. For that matter, you can sometimes notice it's inappropriate in just that instant.
 

Millz

Better Call Saul
Staff member
V.I.P.
Curiosity can be a terrible thing sometimes. I had an ex's email password and admit I checked it sometimes but that was because she had cheated on me in the past and I was a little paranoid. It was wrong of me and I wouldn't do it again without their permission.
 

Wade8813

Registered Member
That's another thing - if you're gonna give your SO your password, don't be stupid enough to leave evidence on there :lol:
 

Millz

Better Call Saul
Staff member
V.I.P.
Haha well yeah that's true Wade. I don't think I ever found anything because she knew I had the password and I don't know if she knew I checked it but it would have been pretty damn stupid and reckless of her if there was something on there for me to easily see.

Personally I like being in a relationship where I know I can give out my info and I can get hers and there would be nothing to worry about.
 

generalblue

Where is my Queen?
First of all, there would be other things that would trigger not trusting your partner and that is where curiosity would come in and check for phone messages and/or emails. Yeah the person snooping around is at fault and sometimes they will see a text and blow it way out of proportion. For example, your in school and one of your co-students sends a text 'Meet me here.' This would cause suspicion and could doom a relationship because your partner snooped around, and blew the situation out of proportion, but it was only going to be for working on an assignment. Most of the time if you have any doubts that your partner is a cheat or a liar, they probably are.
 
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Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
I'm a pretty trusting person until I have been given reason not to. Like cheating in the past or things that are said to give me reason to feel like they would do it again if they had the chance, then I want to snoop. If you have cheated in the past and you want things to work out with the person you cheated on you had better be prepared to live your life like a open book, at least for a while.

Lets face it there are a lot of STD's out there and many people are infected and some of them can't be gotten rid of or will kill you. If someone is cheating you really need to know to protect yourself. Just asking someone you think is cheating if they are will usually get you lied to. So if you want to know the truth snooping is a option.
 

Jeanie

still nobody's bitch
V.I.P.
I don't like the idea of checking someone's emails and texts, but sometimes if you have suspicions and you want to confirm them, you get a little carried away. It's hard to confront someone and say "I think you're cheating". They'll probably deny it anyway, and then what have you got?

I used to check my ex-h's phone bill and American Express statement. Unfortunately it only gave me more suspicion and no confirmation. I still don't know for sure what the extent of the cheating was.
 
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