Rap song i wrote

Discussion in 'Music' started by ratmbosox4ev3r, Oct 12, 2009.

  1. ratmbosox4ev3r

    ratmbosox4ev3r New Member

    Hey this is a song i wrote.


    MY life-----------
    By
    My life is like a big monster.
    A monster always getting in the way of my
    happines. My life is like a fucked up game.
    Scratched up, and no one knows who did it. My
    life is like the pursuit of happyiness,something
    i pursue, but never will get. My life is like my
    mother, something that is always bitchin at me
    and eggin me on. My life is like having crabs in
    your balls, ones that never bother you unless you
    can't be bothered.
    My life is like a quote taken from a good
    statement, a good example, and a nice reference
    for others to learn from.
    My life is like the Beatles on Ed Sullivan in the
    60's. You can't hear the music,
    but instead the screams.
    I'f my life don't matter and my talk is for real
    I should prove it to the world-and accept the devil's first deal.

    And this is the note that I'll leave on the floor
    as i take the first step and close the next door.


    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Is it good? Should i continue song writing?
     

  2. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    "My life is like having crabs in
    your balls, ones that never bother you unless you
    can't be bothered."

    No.
     
  3. Konshentz

    Konshentz Konshentz

    If I was you, I would not pursue this as a career option.
     
  4. FindMuck

    FindMuck Registered Member

    There is much more to rap, poetry, and any other kind of artistic writing then trying to explain how bad ones' life is by using rhyming allusions to pop culture. Keep trying, but I would say to study the art a little more before you actually sit down to persue it.
     
  5. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    Your ability to implement metaphor is laughable. These are downright terrible comparisons you're making. Although, the Beatles one was pretty good, the rest of it was very, very weak.

    If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?
     
  6. Jeru

    Jeru Registered Member

    My life is like a big monster. A monster always getting in the way of my happiness.
    :shake:
    My life is like a fucked up game. Scratched up, and no one knows who did it.
    :sigh:
    My life is like the pursuit of happyiness,something i pursue, but never will get.
    :yawn:
    My life is like my mother, something that is always bitchin at me and eggin me on.
    :comfort:
    My life is like having crabs in your balls, ones that never bother you unless you can't be bothered.
    :paperbag:
    My life is like a quote taken from a good statement, a good example, and a nice reference for others to learn from.
    :facepalm:
    My life is like the Beatles on Ed Sullivan in the 60's, you can't hear the music,but instead the screams.
    :whiteflag:
    I'f my life don't matter and my talk is for real I should prove it to the world-and accept the devil's first deal.
    :headscratch:
    And this is the note that I'll leave on the floor as i take the first step and close the next door.
    :paperbag:


    ...try again my dude
     
    Bliss likes this.

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