rap battle thread



yo i wanted to start a battle thread for the hell of it anyone wanna battle or spit something?
loooool. ill spit something i think i put this in literature a long time ago. it is silly to say the least. :)

warning offensive content lmao

I'm tha master of bater, mastered the force like Vader//
cottage cheese 'n butter beans I get my lubricants catered//
I got lubricant waiters, order some bread 'n tomaters//
and what I don't fuck, stuff in a to-go box 'n fuck it later//
got a thing for vaseline, sour cream and saliva...//
lyrically spit 'n scribble, while I spit slap and dribble//
pivot swivvle my dick 'n spit in 360 like irrigation//
rubbin so hard that I got a penal skin irritation!//
commense tha smackin 'n slappin, spank crank 'n dick shake//
I'll come to ya stupid kid's birthday party and fuck the cupcakes//
I'm the one that fucked the jelly 'n put it back in the fridge//
I'm the one that had the string cheese wrapped all over my dick//
I'm the one you saw at Kroger drillin holes in cucumbers//
got more Woody than Toy Story; dick's harder than lumber//
I like to lie on the ground, with my dick standin up//
I ain't lyin to yall, I really don't give a fuck//
stick my dick in Playdough, if it won't give a nut//
I like to fart, take a shit then slather cheese on my butt//
but so what? got a problem cus ya boy is horny?//
do you understand, wakin up erect in tha morning?//
have you ever fucked a glass of soggy Saltine crackers?//
has your dick ever been straighter than an ascended laddar?//
could ya tell me 'bout, jackin off with Bush's Baked Beans?//
have ya ever been asleep bustin a nut in your dreams?//
when you step in ya jeans, does it strain on tha seams?//
"Can I jack you off?"...bitch there ain't no playin with me//
I'm a fuckin solo artist! we ain't a god damn team//
I could fuck anything! with a little handcream....//
got a mat, where I jack, so my carpet stays clean...//
got a sack, where I stash, all my jackin off things//
tissues oils 'n lotions, thats tha magical potion//
moanin groanin 'n stroakin, toilet paper I'm soakin//
tha rooster cool with me, cus it's tha chicken I'm chokin,//
safety goggles on face, so I can keep my eyes open//
and I'm hopin some day, my girl friend will drop her draws//
'til then one hand on dick, the other hand on my balls//
super sick, freak nasty, if you was freaky
you, wouldnt be laughing, bitches slap me//
cus I talk, dirty when I'm extra horny....
fuck beatin with righty dry cus that's extra boring...//
bitch get on my nerves look out! facial while she sleep//
wakin up, face stuck, to tha bed sheets...yea...//
I don't give a damn, cus I'm open bout my stroakin//
penis poppin out my pants, ain't no way that I could cloak it//
mic master, dick blaster, verbal ecstacy//
yall couldn't come close to my talent jackin off next to me//
n fuck a fake, frontin faggot claim they never beat...//
gettin defensive offended cus they tryin to act street//
drivin down tha street.....recessive hand on their meat//
can't get out the fuckin car, cus they stuck to the seat//
come to class in baggy pants, jus to hide they erection//
I don't give a mother fuck I let it point like directions//
when it comes to produce, bitches I got connections//
'n that's serious, from a masturbater's perspective//
I got employees constantly scheamin on tha down low//
gettin me anything I require from the grocery sto'//
carrots broccli n lettuce, vegetational fetish//
I fucked so many tomatos I think my dick turnin reddish//
though I'm always on screen so I don't know how red it gets//
toilet paper wrapped around it cus I know how wet it gets//
my dick's always stimulated like I fucked amphetamins//
even lacto bitches beggin for my milky medicines//
when I stop, I'ma let ya know; till then I'ma let it flow//
pass a chick in the hall, watch my penis grrrooowwwww//


really didn't read the whole thing yet , but the parts that caught my eye was when you said "got more Woody than Toy Story; dick's harder than lumber"......ooook and "I like to fart, take a shit then slather cheese on my butt" lol.......ooooook.


For testing me, your pain will be endured & savagely felt
the way I can’t be fucked with, you’d swear I wore a chastity belt
If you penetrate, you’ll be exposed to sick vicious rhymes
contracting S.T.D’s like herpes, A.I.D.S and syphilis combine
Let’s be honest…only reason D.I.E’s described as a Vet…
is cuz of special services he’s provided for pets
This jerk has the… probability to be the worst rapper
displays a verse wacker than P Diddy- Fred Durst, rather
Skill levels in his book of rhymes depleted since the first chapter
it’s like demoting from a bank robber to a purse snatcher
No record labels want him, lying is his natural habit
only ‘single’ to be exposed will be his marital status
Even while dating chicks, he’s never lit a spark……
cuz sexually he’s like a ‘struggling actor’ who just need a ‘bigger part’
Maybe getting hoes drunk from Hennessy works…
cuz he couldn’t get ‘brain’ while laundering John F Kennedy’s shirt
I know your identity’s hurt, with mad amounts of trial that ya facing….
since being accused of twenty counts of child molestation
So you best remember…you can’t be my next contender..
when your ass is found guilty then charged as a sex offender
When you’re free, go take lessons how to dance to disco
Cuz you drop more ‘gay bars’ than candy vending machines in San Francisco


I not a freestyle mc im more of a hype man like lil jon but check me out right here....

This is my campus, they call me the dean,
yo breath smells so go to the store and get some listerine
Hawks are a broke ass team you know what i mean
so go get them gay bar from the vending machines.

Oooooooooooo. I spit hot fire!!!
here go some shit i was in a convo 2 nights ago n we got to lil freestylin. I'm Moods1ck, my buddy is mtg

mtg00x: coo

mtg00x: I'm driftin/weed got me lifted/thoughtz shiftin

Moods1ck: back

Moods1ck: in my chair im sittin, jus got back from shittin, hold ya shit in,

Moods1ck: lol

mtg00x: what up

mtg00x: haha

Moods1ck: pause

Moods1ck: lol

Moods1ck: pause

Moods1ck: lol

mtg00x: constipated, awaitin this major payin while the competition has no ambition strayin from the goalz fony bitchez aint holdin no soul

mtg00x: we goin 2x platinum bitch fuck tha gold

Moods1ck: fuck tha gold, know ya role, we spit cold like ice never nice dont make us say it twice 2 times the pain, rearrange ya body frame ya look strange we so derranged insane in brain membrains decentegratin, watch in wonder we flip ya script like acrobats holdin dictionaries our visions scary u weary dreary fearing us dont get near us u get seared from da heat in the street call in da red cross maitnence, scrape ya ass of tha pavement

Moods1ck: lol

mtg00x: my flow is fluid and necessary similar 2 h20/playin cupid wit this thug luv bein told/bow down and pray the gamez sewed

mtg00x: lol damn u made some fire

Moods1ck: we are tight

Moods1ck: haha

mtg00x: in like 2 mins

Moods1ck: lol

Moods1ck: i kep havin typos

Moods1ck: so it took longer

Moods1ck: lmfaoo

mtg00x: lol yea we r tight

mtg00x: i aint on your level but im fire too

mtg00x: haha

Moods1ck: yellin hype shit, spit a tight spit shoot a spiced clip ice drip melt ya bars like a hershey candy, im so breezy like beaches; u fucka sandy, gimme 2 shot vodka 1 shot hot brandi,

mtg00x: what do u get when tha midwest and dirty dirty connect/hurry hurry collect/ya thoughtz as we mow down tha block like a glock 18 automatic/bringin static like antenna tv/beretta in tha back of my suv

mtg00x: damn ur shit was fire

mtg00x: i think passenger seat of my suv would've been better

Moods1ck: suv big black blocky, nigga we that cocky, holla back retract like spasmatic crack addict on crack, pull a shotty matta fact, blow ya back out ya front, hear da speakers bump moodsick on da beat, feel da heat, squeeze da lemon clip, watchin juice from ya cerebellum drip, this a hella fire spit we hella wired hella tired of u faggot pussy lil bitch

Moods1ck: lol

mtg00x: haha

mtg00x: damn homie omg u got fire

Moods1ck: lol

Moods1ck: im jus in a mood

mtg00x: your multiez are mind blowin like some dro

mtg00x: lol we should save this conversation

Moods1ck: ya we should

mtg00x: you think it'd make us fake if you helped me write lyrics

mtg00x: not do em all but revise mine

Moods1ck: naa

Moods1ck: half artists get ghost written anyway

Moods1ck: look at bow wow

Moods1ck: lmaoooo

mtg00x: lol you can tell bow wow dont mean what he say

Moods1ck: but we wouldn even do that

mtg00x: he just a lil punk

mtg00x: i think jd wrote his shit

Moods1ck: he think he hot he got inked up, leave him chopped in a sink, fuck, fingers stuck in the drain, bullets clogg his brain, body dump in a bog in Maine, lil faggot cutcha wit hatchet

Moods1ck: lol

Moods1ck: to bow wow

mtg00x: haha

mtg00x: lol who should our enemies be

Moods1ck: i dont kno

Moods1ck: who u think

mtg00x: lol bow wow is a good target

mtg00x: but he got so so def backin

mtg00x: and fifty snitch ass just gets more hype from people beefin

Moods1ck: who they got lol

mtg00x: hes like steak

Moods1ck: let your enemies come to u

mtg00x: yup

Moods1ck: faster they run from u

mtg00x: then we in control

Moods1ck: feel guns from u

Moods1ck: run from crews they lose blood runs from nose like allergies cover dey eyes these ill guys the quill flies i write rrhymes all da time shine diamonds like subs ya punk thugs wit ya prewrite verses leae ya all in backs of herses circlin mourges cemetaries u wont make it thru prelimiaries ya fairys

Moods1ck: lol

mtg00x: spit like nunz elude/sex stompin the jealous fellaz like t-rex/reflect like the kevlar does my tec/