Rant Time #6: Labeling the Idiots


Certified Shitlord
This is an extremely easy to understand rant and it's a very simple discussion:

Why the ever-loving fuck are there labels for obvious and stupid shit everywhere?

Coffee: "Caution: Contents are hot"

No goddamned way!

The answer is obvious, it's all liability. If companies don't put warnings, no matter how idiotic, they get sued. That's the world we live in. There are fucking hair dryers that tell the user not to use it in water.

Are you serious?

See, this is how my twisted, un-American mind works. If you do something retarded, like say, bring your hair dryer into the bathtub with you and you suffer severe electrical injury (unfortunately, since death was the better alternative), you don't get anything. Nothing. There's no lawsuit, no money owed, no apologies. You made a ridiculously dimwitted decision and you learned from it. That's one of life's key processes, learning.

However, in the trigger happy good ol' US of A (pen trigger that is) that's not how things work. We're taught to believe that our stupid choices are not our faults, that people owe us money for our dumbass decisions. This is a very dangerous way of raising a generation because it's completely void of responsibility. Not to mention, it crushes the whole "community" idea of this country. There's almost no towns where people can be good neighbors anymore because everyone is so damn afraid of lawyers and insurance companies. Hell, you can't even be a good samaritan without worrying about the consequences!

I went to a zoo recently (about a week ago) and they had a bear exhibit going. It was lower than the walkway so that the zoo-goers could look down into the bear pen and see them interacting and doing all the lovely things bears do (like tearing up meat and shitting). I was angered but not shocked to see a sign warning patrons of the danger of black bears and to not enter the cage. I've grown to expect this sort of lunacy in our country so it was nothing new. However, if someone actually jumped in to that cage, how would I have reacted? Easy, I would not jump in to help since I'm not mentally impaired, but I would get help.

(For you smartasses ready to discharge the "what if it was a child, you sick bastard?" reaction, keep it to yourselves, young kids don't count since they're all idiots until proven otherwise)

Call that a cold reaction, I call it much needed chlorine in the gene-pool. Take for instance this guy, he's some attention whoring dumbass who stuck his finger in a jaguar cage just to look cool. Now, if that wigger got his finger or arm lopped off by the big cat, I bet you his mommy and daddy would have sued the zoo. But where is the justice in that?

I guess this rant is just another one about stupidity but yet, it's also about how we handle our business in this country. We actually teach people this kind of behavior, that just because we may have made a dumb decision, that we can take it out on the companies because they're "greedy" or "shady" or very wealthy. Take the old story about the woman (or bitch as I call her in this case) who spilled hot coffee on her legs and then sued citing that the cup didn't say the coffee was hot. Did you know that she also sat in the coffee for 90 seconds? Does that not strike anybody else as odd? If your ass is burning, take off your goddamn pants! Also, don't you know that coffee is freaking hot? Where the shit are you from where they serve 60 degree coffee? Alaskas's dick?

To end this in a summation, our society has two groups of people: brain crippled morons who act on their stupid ideas and sharkish lawmen and women who capitalize on the indugences of society to help one another no matter how fucking dumb the case is. I mean, a woman gets in trouble for spanking her kid and everyone hates her, but this hag actually sues a company for her poor thinking skills and people side with her (granted not a lot, but some did)? Looking to blame someone? Blame god for accidentally giving you a cancerous lump of grease instead of a brain.

Dear ever loving jesus,

This is why you are amazing. I could never have said it better in my life. These cases were absolute idiots make millions just reaffirms the actions of more idiots. We've set the standard that idiocy pays off. It's an embaressing status quo and look at any of those idiots ten years from now. Where are they? Poor again, because they pissed their money away along with their intelligence.

You're my hero.